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He’s really pushed me down, he makes me feel worse, and I really hate myself. I’m done with everything, I can no longer do this, he didn’t sign the papers and he’s making my life terrible. Goodbye everyone. I don’t think I can do this anymore.
I swear to god, there is something very unnatural about capitalism; it is dehumanizing. I know I was not put on this earth to be a pawn in the system, and neither were you. I think that the industrialization of society was more of a curse than a blessing–sure, things are more convenient than they were 200 years ago, we live longer, have antibiotics, (is that really a good thing?….) but I would trade every convenience of modern society to be free from this system.
I am currently unemployed. Again. Do I want to go out and sell myself into wage slavery, again? NO. That’s right, NO. For some […]
‘Well, I know the feeling,
Of finding yourself stuck out on the ledge,
And there ain’t no healing,
From cutting yourself with the jagged edge,
I’m telling you that, it’s never that bad,
Take it from someone who’s been where you’re at.’
Damn, I love Nickelback.
Anyways. Feeling depressed :I and obviously suicidal.
Did i tell you guys about the day before my birthday? Well, I didn’t really know much about Daniel then, I just knew that I had a voice in my head that was driving me crazy. For some reason I thought I could release the voice inside my head by scratching at my hand until […]
Funny how trivial everything becomes when you know you’re going to die. All these things that were once so important… job interviews, finances, hell even wars and famine and disease… are growing so distant, like a tv in the next room. Lately my own voice doesn’t even sound like me anymore. It sounds like the voice of some actor reading my lines. The other day I was talking and suddenly stopped because I sounded so weird, like REALLY WEIRD. Â I asked the other person if there was something wrong with my voice, and she said I sounded fine, politely adding, “maybe the acoustics are weird […]
I have visited this sight in the past and I am now back, not because I want to die. I have wanted to die and I have thought and tried but I will never succeed. Somewhere in my heart is the passion to go on I just dont know how to go on when I hurt so much. I could go on and on about my fucked up life and all the horrible things that have hurt me. But I have finally thought I found peace with myself and something that made me happy. Then it all crumbles down around me. I want love and […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oQGn_msZqI i love this song i relate to it in evey way
Do you think diving off a bridge or a building is going to be pain free? What if you change your mind on the way down? There is no easy way to kill yourself. If you take anti-depressants and still want to die, maybe what you really need is a change of environment or stop therapy altogether. They will never say you are through with therapy, but will continue to reinforce everything that is wrong with you.
I’m really not seeing a reason to continue fighting my debilitating depression and anxiety. I have never had a reprieve in my 28 years, despite various medications, spiritual journeys, and self-help literature.
I have always held myself to a very high standard and have been relentless with trying to reach success from a very early age. I survived an abusive childhood with an alcoholic father. Â I thought that getting married, getting a Masters degree, and starting my career would bring me the happiness I so desperately want and the outside validation to prove that I am a good person.
I loved my husband with all of my […]
so the ***** is at a friends house..YIPPEE!(: had the night to myself. the first night in weeks i gotta walk around the house not worying what my sister would do to me. normaly, i leave a room and she screams. the other day she beat me with a hanger for stepping out of her room to change a song on utube im supposed to watch her clean her room not focus on music…anyways she comes home in a few hours…DAMN but a plus side: mom outa the house today (***** is nicer when its just dad home). i wish my morning can last forever […]
I think jumping off a building is the way I want to go.. When I do go or when I have the guts. I could run up the stair well to the top of a huge skyscraper. Then once at the top I could look down at the world of cruelty, pain and evil and for the first time since I came into this world, I can smile and truly mean it. I can stretch out my arms like a bird and jump like a child jumps happily when they are younger. Then I can fall effortlessy from this skyscraper and FLY. Then if I […]
wendy clear by blink182, dance around to it, its good. try and make yourself feel a little better today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbHpZVCie8s
I think that I have been dead for a long time or maybe more enlightened than the rest of the world but I just feel so lost and alone with no one to connect to. Its not that people don’t connect to me, its just that I am wading and others are holding on to me as I am drowning, I don’t know how much longer I can do it.
Life is boring… I feel like im just sitting here waiting to finish this life. Like i am at a bus station just waiting to get on and take off to another destination where theres less restrictions and more adventure. I have no reason to be here anymore.
So here is what is up. I’ve been in the hospital for a few days, I’ve seen sum doctors and a therapist. I went to my new therpist and doctor today and had very good results. . They kno that the feelings and the depression has been caused by all the nuro/seizure/brain issues I’ve had all my life. Plus all the meds I have taken. They are also believing the auras I’ve been having are silent seizures, which scares me so please keep me in ur prayers.. I have a wonderful therapist that is helping me thru sum issues in my life as well as […]
Everyday I think to myself: Why am I not dead yet? All of this is POINTLESS. So why bother? Maybe I could suffer through this, but I’d be SUFFERING. Everyday it’s the distractions, it’s the “what can I do to NOT think about X” – but it comes to mind anyway, stays there. All those bad thoughts make a cozy home in my mind. I question why I don’t just write up a note and go already…I’m so confused. I’m almost fed up with this “try to change” shit.
Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy†days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]
I’m so fuckin sick and tired of doing this. Day in day out I just float through my day, half awake half asleep, just waiting to die. Every morning I wake up dissapointed to find I’m still breathing, just the thought of getting out of my bed and looking in thr mirror scares the shit out of me. I am a coward . If I wasn’t then I would have finished the job quite some time ago instead of just lingering aimlessly through a pointless existence. I don’t want tp be here anymore, I have grown so bitter […]
There is a boy on Twitter saying he’s going to do it. He has the pills. His name is Jacob.
The way I found out is through some stuck up idiots on Facebook saying Jacob is only doing it for attention, and he isn’t going to do it. But, how could they possibly know? Who are they to decide whether or not someone will or will not do it? Â Unless they are posing as Jacob, then there is no way for them to know. Â I’m going to tweet a link to this post to him because this is too much for 140 characters.
Jacob, I don’t know […]
Hi, I’m action. I’ve been on this site for around 2 years now. No-one really knows me though because I’m not the greatest at making friends. The friends I have in real life, I made ages ago which is kind of lucky I guess. Anyway, I was thinking and… When I’m on this site I feel sort of, kind of… normal, or one of the majority I guess I could say. By that I mean, going through the stuff I do, and most likely you do too (see what I mean). But is it really normal? I feel when I’m on this site, majority of people are going […]
hold me? kiss me? love me! BUT U CANT. ur to far away. r relationship ALMOST ended today. :'( im so sorry. i didnt think u would it that way..just please stay. if i can just be next to..i can get our love back where it was…i know u love me but u knew im suicidal and said ud be there for me…i tell u i started cutting again…i do it again apparently we’re done. NO! please dont do that all ive done is hold back as much as i can from crying..just hoping u were here to hold me…even kiss me. let me know […]
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