General

………..i hate the person in the mirror

I get the feeling that i should leave, Obviously I want to permantly leave but i’m talking more about this site.

Is there any point in me staying? I’m so repetative and crazy… But I just want to thank you all. I really appreciate everything you have done.. All of the advice and humour and just being a friend for someone in need. I’ve met some amazing people, and i hope for their sake that things get better and they don’t leave…

I’m only 15, but alreay i feel like i’m at the end of the road. And that road was a *****. But this isn’t the […]

i feel a repeat of last night happening tonight again. if so i no if i cut theres a better chance of feeling better for tonight, if i cut ill most probably have a better night but ill have to hide the cut till it heals and i might feel bad the next day. so thats my dilemma in my head.

They think I’m spoiled

That I’m a bad kid

But what do they know?

It’s only a mask

It’s not me

I lost masks

A really, long time ago…

I don’t know who I am

Any more…

he is mine. he is my reason to live. he is my everything. he is the one. he is. yes. he is. i love him. some dont. fuck what they say. he has his way of loving me. and i can never get that from someone else. he is mine. i wont let him go. my love for him is here to stay. this may sound obsessive. so what? idc. he is mine, he loves me. im his baby.
i love you!

How can I live there

When all I think about is the past

How am I supposed to go back

When all the time I keep hating

and it feels like I am rushing

What is the rush for?

Everyone has grown up

Why can’t I?

What am I supposed to do?

I have been in bed since Sunday evening after my….”breakdown”. Still shaking, still feeling generally lowsy, still crying and still randomly short of breath. I don’t know if my nervous system is shot or if I have finally just went mad..either way I’m a mess.

Down the rabbit hole,
Or inside my head.
They lead to the same place,
Is what I said.

Like watching a dandelion in the breeze,
Or a bubble in the wind.
Following ants on my knees,
Gives me the same sort of grin.

Oh, in a world so big,
To be so small,
Unlimited adventures,
To each and all.

Without maps and lines
To keep them contained.
Or a globe in which
They know they remain.

In an […]

Tomorrow I have to go somewhere.The problem is  that I don’t like being around people.Ugh..I hate that! This Social Anxiety is killing me!

If anyone needs some cheering up or just a friend to talk to I’d love to hear what you have to say.

Talking things out with ya’ll makes me feel better, or even just listening.

I need you all more than you know.

Ahaa… I miss him. :/ He made life seem livable.

Anyone just want to talk? I have email, skype, facebook or maybe even xbox?

Just ask. I’m not a judgemental person and I like to think that I can give some good advice to those in need.

I love talking to you people, Don’t give up.

<3

This morning, I woke up and felt something I never felt waking up…

I realized it was fear…

Fear of the future and fear of failure

So scared of what the future might bring

And failing once again

When will this end?

I’m back in the same position, once again.
I thought I was finally happy. I thought that HE made me happy. But it turns out he’s just the same. Using me for the same shit all the rest did.
I promised myself that I wouldn’t like him until I knew he felt the same but once again I fucked up and gave him almost everything he wanted. I’m so stupid. I fucking hate myself. I just want to leave and go away forever. I want to be someplace new where nobody even knows my goddamn name. Or maybe I could just leave for […]

Well, its been a long hard road but I’ve finally made it to the end. What have I got to show for it? A broke down car, no money, no family, no job, I have become like the silence…nothing. I dont believe theres anything left, so, to all the people that I let down, im sorry…goodbye   (I really just need someone to talk to, so I dont end the pain)

Theres a pain in my cide, its getting worse, I can hear my demons, it’s a curse, the time is finally here, I see, theres a shadow hanging over me, I look in his face, theres nothing there, still I ask him a question for his stare, “What would it take to end this life?” Im living but I am not alive. He turns his around and bows his head, im lost without him, need his thread, now im laying in the dirt, Deaths been calling since my birth   (This is Keith, I cant take this anymore, not sure what my next move is, im […]

I’ve been viewing this website for awhile, never posted anything. Just joined. Is anyone online right now and want to talk about anything? It could be good, bad, random, whatever. How are you today? Anything awesome going on in your life? Sorry for being random, I just feel kind of lonely right now.
-M

  It don’t Make sense, I bust my Ass of just for him to have a Good Life, I cook I clean I get him clothes. I’ve been out for the past 5 days trying to get me shit straight (ID, Social security, Birth certificate Food Stamps) when it’s Hot. and yet u Still complain -__-  I just want to sit down for 10 damn minutes and Not worry about a single damn thing! u go and make YOURSELF dinner. And get mad that I didn’t eat. I Cook for. U ALL the time. it’s not fair that I have to be with a Selfish little […]

If i had the courage to just do it…i would….im dreaming about it, i space out and slowly wrap my hands around my neck and squeeze, my brother stops me half the time…i dont want help…i want a shoulder to cry on and courage to detach my soul from this Hell…