General

The unthinkable has happened, my worst fears have been realised and I can barley believe it . I have entered a deep pit of which there is no way out,  I guess I knew it was only a matter of time, but still I was unprepared for this. I have no idea how this happened to me, I used to be so happy, so full of hope, an A* student and athlete with the world at my feet, but my world has come crashing down. I know I will never smile again, never stop thinking about it, never have a brief moment of forgetting whats happening. Every waking moment […]

I have been taking meds for about a month now…..  Zoloft I think (memory is crap).

I have good days, I have bad days and I have REAAAAALLLL bad days.   Is this normal when you start meds?

I’m going to tell him how I feel. He’s the only one I can really talk to, the last person I can trust… If he says we can’t talk because of how I really feel, then I’m done. I’ve been hurt too many times. This will have to be the last. When I get back to Va I’m going to tell him… I’m terrified… -.-

“They/He’s too good for you.”
“You’re a lying whore”
“You’re a screwed up, deceiving *****”
“You’re a murderer”
“You deserved to get raped after everything you’ve done”
“I hope you die alone and rot in hell”
“Here, how about you use this and do everyone a favour by shooting yourself the way you lied saying that he did”

Words I hear yelled at me whenever I go out. Seems like everywhere I go, no one can get over the mistakes I’ve made and the bullshit stories they’ve heard. It all happened over a year ago and I’ve had proof showing that I was being truthful, yet […]

Dear Derek,
I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy. I’m sorry I couldn’t support you and me. I’m sorry I couldn’t afford your dreams. I’m sorry I hurt you, I’m sorry I yelled and screamed. I’m sorry I didn’t love you enough, or hold you, or kiss you enough. I’m sorry I didn’t everything wrong every day since we moved in together. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough after we went our separate ways. I want to tell you I’m sorry, goodbye. I loved you more then you will ever know. I will never hurt you or anyone else again.

love always and forever.

“Living souls around me
They don’t see
Just staring, closed faces
Fake a smile
Shaking hands, shake their heads
But they don’t speak
Only demanding the right numbers
Of me, breaking into pieces
I’m breaking into pieces”

Singer Liv Kristine sums up how I live my daily life in her song “Fake A Smile.” I am an army wife and currently unemployed due to our most recent move and the ever-failing job market. However, I manage to stay busy, volunteering in my church community. And, I do honestly feel a deep devotion to my Catholic faith. Knowing these things about me will make […]

She saved me from her own world

Back Again. The time every night when I realize I cant do this. I’ve actually pissed off my only friend because I havent slept in 24 hours. Energy Drinks that are making me sick, all because I dont want to sleep..or dream. I’d rather stay awake for the rest of my life than dream about what couldve been..what should have been. I’m going to be alone forever…panic attack…burn through adrenaline..get super tired. Energy Drinks. I cant even put a functional sentence together. Pathetic.

Before when i joined this site a little while ago (cant remember when) people would hardly if never comment on people thingy ma giggers… But now people r really nice… People r giving out E-Mails so if zed/a person needs somethin they  can E-Mail to talk its nice to know their r some nice people on this site!!!!

I haven’t been up here for a couple of months, well actually just one month. I Graduated last month. Im so much happier now that im done with school, I hated myself, for so many reason. Because i thought i was ugly, I talked down on myself everyday, I was sooo depressed. But ever since i graduated, i’ve been so much happier. Have I ever had my first kiss? No. My First boyfriend? No. I think that was the main problems for my depression. I hated going to school. But now, im happier than ever. I feel so much confidence in myself, I start college […]

I love my brother to pieces I’m not close to my mom I don’t know my father very well. I broke up with my boyfriend of two years. He’s moved on. I want to kill myself but am too much of a coward to do it. I feel so alone.

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes, I feel absolutely broken and don’t even want to live anymore. But other times, I actually feel happy. But even when I’m happy I feel tired of being here.
Today, I thought about taking my life because I’m so sick of living and couldn’t see the point.

I’m living for my girlfriend, just 5 more years and we can move in together and maybe 1 more year until we get promise rings<3 That's the only reason I'm still here. I'm so convinced no one really loves me and they're all lying to me. They probably are. In […]

If anyone needs me, I am 100% here.
You can always depend on me to be there for you.
Email me at GiaBrownrocks@gmail.com or Itsokayimherenow@gmail.com whichever you prefer<3

i have a friend who lives in canada and im in england, i dont know why but when im talking to him or reading his emails my mind feels a little less helish, i wish he was here to give me a hug and to hang out with, but its not going to happen anytime soon, i dont know wheather its worse to never have met him or for it to be i met him but hes not a shoulder to cry on.

panic attacks and rage moments caused by my brother today. It’s killing me not to cut. It’s not even for my mom anymore, I’m scared to be sent to a hospital. I’m so fuckin lonely. God I just want a shoulder to cry on.. A real one. I don’t even care if it’s a stranger… I need a hug… from anyone, just a caring hug… I have no one

From personal experience I’ve realized that finding that one thing to hold onto can make a huge impact in your life. That one thing can change your whole world and suddenly the urge to kill yourself slowly decreases. Now I’m not saying that it will go away completely, but it will no longer cloud your mind with negative thoughts. Sometimes all it takes is for the one person to walk into your life and make it worth living or sometimes it just takes realization to see that the world isn’t so bad and there are so many opportunities just waiting for you. It’s amazing to think that […]