For general topics related to the site.
Run far away.
I don’t really care where I end up.
Just as long as it’s far away from here.
Far away from you.
Far away from this.
Far away from everyone and everything.
Category:
General
Before I was addicted. I mean, I couldn’t bare the thought of a day without it. I was so locked onto it.
Now.. It’s strange. I hate myself when I don’t do it – I hate myself when I do.
Maybe I’m just expecting for something more to happen.
I’v become numb to the pain of blood pouring from my arms and legs.
I need something new. Something different.
Something to make me feel. Anything.
i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
This air is too thick to breath so just drive,these eyes are too sick to see, Go, leave me behind, Somethings swimming in my blood, Somethings rotting in my brain, I’m Smothered from the flood, I can’t recognize your face, I need to leave so just drive….
by Nat....
written by Nat....
My message to lauren.. about what i did on monday…
‘Ok…. So basically doctors went well, but then my parents wanted a meeting with miss gentry. About ten minutes in I had enough and got up to leave, at this point miss said I’m not allowed to go to product design. I got angry, said I needed the toilet and left…. I was really angry and upset and tried to find you but failed. I then went and stood outside product design deciding whether or not I should go in…. Eventually sir came out and told me to go back to the meeting. I didn’t. Instead […]
I will never bother you
I will never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never speak a word again
I will crawl away for good
I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put in to this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to fail
PAAAAIIIIIINNNNN
You know you’re right
// kURT
I’m having a really bad day..cried too much..thinking of running away..ive lost all optimism for ive been used, abused, raped and having to start all over again just to repeat everything again..I don’t think so..I’m done. I’m nobody. Ive been treated that way all my life and its just been confirmed again.
So I’m here again, and for the stupidest reason I can imagine right now. Mom keeps asking me if I’m still going to school, or if I’ve dropped out. A difficult question, since I don’t know either. I know there’s no point in me going back there, I’m not studying as it is. All I’ve done in the past is to just turn up. Stopped going before Christmas though, but i lied and said i did anyway.
Anyway, I’ve been saying I want a job just to get out of the discussion. I really would like one, but i have no idea of how to go […]
Darkness is beauty, when it helps us escape from the harshness of light.
by sorrow_
written by sorrow_
You do not give me a chance to explain the way I feel.
You do not hesitate to criticize. You are quick to tell me that what I feel is wrong and it is unacceptable.
But you are the one who is wrong.
How could you tell me that I shouldn’t feel the way that I do? How dare you? Do you think that I enjoy it? Crying myself to sleep every night, cuddled myself with the darkness overwhelming my brain? Do you think that I choose to feel this way?
I don’t.
I don’t want to feel this way any longer. I would love help, but you seem […]
So, I am going back to the hospital. I called myself because if i don’t I will end up doing something stupid. And My STUPID guidance councilor told me he was going to call to see if i can’t go. He said I don’t need to. He said HE needs to call if I need to go. HOW WOULD HE KNOW! HE IS NOT ME! HE DOESN’T KNOW IF I NEED TO OR NOT! This is my life. He does NOT know how bad I need this for myself. He his going to make me have a panic attach in his office. ONE AGAIN! The […]
So, life. What can I say… Your difficult sometimes. You make me wonder. You make me cry. You make me laugh. You let me love. Then you let me get rid of the only love I have. Had. But, what can I say? Its life. you can’t Alway never get what you want. No matter what you do. Thats just how life works. You take something ( Laughter, happiness, love, etc.) and you get worse ( Sadness, Madness, Hatred, Etc.) . No matter how hard you try, it is impossible to get away from those things. You can just wish for them […]
As far as death is concerned there are those who emphasize it being the end of all things, even the possibilities of positive occurences. Even going so far as to say it will get better, as if no other negatives will occur or the positives will outweigh the negatives in the future.
Not saying this cannot happen, but for someone whose negatives have outweighed their positives, especially those who have been continually abused and used as children, teens, and adults this somewhat optimistic view is very hard to swallow.
And effort and attitude are only parts of the picture. One can have the most positive attitude in the […]
Its been so long. Its been so hard. I have been trying to hid what happened to everyone. It has worked. 5 years has pasted. Why do you have to return. I was done with you. You hurt me. You where my COUSIN . How could you do this. You touched me and made me touch you. Because of you, I am scared. Scared to call help. That’s why its happened 5 more times. With different people each. Now your back in my life. I don’t want you here. I want to die. I really don’t want memories coming back. They have finally left. Don’t […]
So i feel as though i’ve become a complusive liar since i found out i had depression/anxiety. I’m constantly lying to my friends and family ‘pretending’ im ok and i just feel fake. I’ve even gone one step further and i am now making up people to see and inventing cool places i’ve been to when in actual fact i’m just meeting my therapist instead. Lies are turning me into some sort of monster, who am i anymore? Answer- a pathetic moron thats what…
I think, that the page and the idea is perfect.
And those who are banned, them posts deleted and so on shouldn’t be so unhappy – RULES ARE RULES. And we have to keep them.
The web is kool.
I don’t think that it helps directly, but on some way it does.
It’s always interesting to read and always exciting to see what people think about my posts. I am sure it’s the same for all of You. Mostly..
The mind, that somebody is totally fucked up or hopeless sometimes helps to realise that i’m not in that deep shit so much maybe.. :]
Thanks for creator!
Even it’s page full of […]
There’s a lot of things going through my head right now. I don’t know how she takes so much Oxycontin and is still alive. I don’t know if I want her to be alive. I don’t know if I love anyone, and I don’t know how I feel about that. I don’t know why I haven’t been able to look in a mirror happily in four years. It’s beginning to feel like I’m so disgusted with the face that looks back at me, that I don’t even know if it’s me looking back. I don’t know why I lie awake at night still hoping that […]
Dear Brandon,
Do you remember the last conversation we had? You wanted to swim with dolphins. You told me that if you ever got to go to Hawaii that’s the first thing you would do because it had always been a life-long dream of yours, and you wanted to take me with you.
I don’t know why I keep going back to that conversation. We had countless ones during the few years I spent getting to know you, and yet this is the only one that seems to stick in my head. Why??
I think that’s when I should have known. You always had a bright smile on […]
I remember hearing this story about a boy with black natural hair, very pail, and tall. When he was younge he ran away, and no one knew what happend to him. 3 years later there were these misterious murders. The boy was only 13 at the time… He developed a mental disease, I don’t remember what it was called, but it lead him to murder three inocent people.
I used to dream of running away… But then I remember this.
Stupid, I know.
D
I’m not going to go into much detail again..if you want to see the last time I posted..it was February 2010, titled, “No longer” I believe..anywho, I’ll be 19 in about two and half weeks…I feel like I’ve tried as hard as I can, things got better since my last post, but…I’ve come to the realization I have nothing to live for; I care for nothing, no one..I am completely and utterly numb.
I have ~15 days before my father kicks me out of the house because I’m a failure and accomplish nothing..but it doesn’t phase me. Why? Because I don’t care. Why don’t I care? […]
i dont know why i do stupid things. i never think about the consequences that come with them. today i had my final for bio and i heard about this thing if you put chapstick on your scantron then it wont mark them wrong. im freaking out because i think im going to get caught. i was just curious about it..i dont know why i fuck up all the time. i need new friensd but idk who..i need to be happy and i dont know how…i use to always get As but now im getting Ds. i miss how i use to be when my […]
I’m just…. broken