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My Sister was tailking about when I got sexual abused. She keeps on taunting me. So I just hit her and we was fighting and the street. The neighbors had too break us up. My mom wasn’t here but if she was she would’ve yelled at my sister. Well my sister been making fun of me ever since I was young but since she live and my house I cant avoid her are what she says.
It’s been so long.
Yet here I am, back where I started.
I can’t believe that a person could say this to me, with the knowledge that my brother is austistic…
“Respecting retards isn’t respectful. putting them out of their misery and doing them a favor, however… is.”
With that one sentence; that person has hurt me in every way possible.
He could have called me every name in the book: whore, dyke, ****, slut, *****, etc. and I wouldn’t have cared.
But having the balls to say that to me…to my brother…someone he doesn’t know….
How could someone say that?
How can they sleep at night knowing that by saying that they […]
Everyone who has ever encouraged to to keep living are just plane old shelfish how could you want someone that you see suffering so bad to stay alive people may call me selfish because im only thinking about myself but why cant i everybody else is i just want to curl up somewhere and die a lady once told me that she didnt like people like me because her son is fighting to live while im fighting to die you know what i told here ill prey harder for me and her son to switch places because if i was […]
Life the hound
the equivocal
comes to me at a bound
either to rend me
or to befriend me
I don’t know his intentions
till he jumps at my bare hand
with teeth or tongue
meanwhile I wait for the event
——————————————————
I like this poem,because it expresses my feelings of anxiety
and apprehension.I just wish I knew the poet who made it.
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I…?Â
Insecure
Self destructiveÂ
Afraid to grow up
Nervous
Delusional
Crazy
SchizophrenicÂ
Proud
Dissociative
DilapidatedÂ
Narcissistic
Misaligned
Inoperable
Anorexic
FailureÂ
DisappointedÂ
Nostalgic
ConflictedÂ
Non-committed
Addicted
Afraid
Fearless
Normal
Perfect
Relentless
Depressed
Suicidal
Genius
Mad
Insane
I am!
There is something wrong with me!
I want to be committed to cure my ailments. I am of clear thought of body and mind for all pertinent matters. My fear of seeking help is loss of respect from my family, social status, future, but most of all, my 2nd amendment right to bare arms. I shall stand naked holding my weapon of choice and I will […]
I feel like I make the same mistakes over and over again. I don’t learn. I hurt those who are closest to me, then I push them away to protect myself. It is a constant ongoing cycle. More than anything in the world I want to feel close to someone. I want someone to know what a broken mess I am, and still accept me. It’s just not in the cards for me. Three years nearly to the day since I’ve felt like this. I wish I could cry, but I’ve spent a long time coaching myself not to and now that I’d like to […]
Okay so i woke up thinking today wad going to be a good day i got up went to work out with my mom but i left my phone in the car so at the end we left and i checked my text messages and my boy friend texted me and said that i have to much going on in my life and that he wanted to break up so i tried to call him and he didnt answer whhy are all the people that i thuoght was really close to me leaving me i cant help who i am trust me if this […]
It a bit hard to sum up ones failures in life in a quick way however I will try my best; thanks to everyone that reads it,
Basically I was abused and neglected emotionally as a child sometimes physically- my mom tried her best to make me as wimpy as possible as she is a social retard who attacks and sabotages her children when ever she can and will attack anyone displaying any sort of healthy self esteem, she’s also a drug addict although not a ‘hard’ one a medicated and tobacco one. I have no idea why she does this and she has a completly […]
Why can’t I fucking sleep
Well I didn’t smoke today! So I felt Mad and sad today. I was about to smoke with this 18 year old men but I just went in the house! I tried very hard to turn it down. I love weed and very addicted to it. When I smoke my self-esteem goes up. I don’t know why but i always had low self-esteem ever since I was real young. When I don’t smoke I’m very angry and sad and when I think about when I was sexual abuse tears comes down my eyes. Snap Shots Comes in my head of me giving boys oral at […]
So, I went out into the world today. Crazy, I know. I didn’t even give a shit if I looked like a zombie. I didn’t try to put on a happy face or smile at strangers or laugh needlessly. I was myself. I was my emotionally drained self. I felt like I wasn’t really ‘there’ today. Not like an out-of-body thing, though. Ugh, I don’t know how to explain it. One of the things I did today was return a pair of jeans that were too loose. I now have $28.00 to my name. Yay. I’m going to hold on to that 28 dollars like […]
hi all. i am 38 and i have been a carpenter all of my life. i am also not one of the thinnest men in the world. i am good at what i do, but there is no joy in me. i live in a little country, were its wrong to not be happy. i find no happynes in anything, and my girlfriend has not been touching me at all for over 4 months.. there is no work to be found. i barly can get the things to fit, and i am always outa money. i have tried to end it before, 2 times to […]
I don’t know why but recently I do want to just disappear. Recently I have so much stresss from for finding a new job. Also my wife is not helping at all. She works, but she keeps on pushing me. To a point i just want to end it. Sometimes I just want a divorse and sometime I just want to end my life because of so much stress. I don’t know what I should do. Sometimes I pray that I won’t wakeup in the morning. That my life will end in my sleep. I don’t want to kill myself, because I think its wrong. […]
Im so freaking tired of having to fake my way through life I go to work and have to pretend im fine cuz if anybody there knew the truth ( i hate myself and want to die) they would never trust me again and wouldn’t let em do my job the only thing I have in my life that actually keeps me grounded I fucking hate my life why can’t i be a better person I mean what the hell is wrong with me that when I got frustrated at work today my first thought was to strangle myself and my second was to chop […]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6fmiwujYBmY
i cheated on my boyfriend. and i’ve regretted it ever since. it’s all i think about. and it’s eating me alive.
he likes to bring it up all the time. and it makes me want to die.
the stress is building up inside. and i just want to escape.
i want to fly away. the reaper in the night.
fade. into the blackness.
Well I be feeling sad and mad all the time for no reason. I’t just pop up on me!!!! I want to go back to school but they told me I had to go to alternative school. I really don’t want to !!! I hang around all grown man and Drug dealors. A couple of them tried to have sex with me but I wasn’t shock because I’m use to men doing me like this. I’m so mature for my age that people my age follows me. Well they parents think I’m a bad influence. Well I always hanged with people older then me. […]
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