General

This was written several years ago, when I was 19.  It is a tribute to anyone who has ever felt so isolated. 

Alone-ly

    Inira sat back and admired her handiwork.  It was a good job, she thought. No one who looked would believe them anything more than cat scratches.  All to the good, she thought.  Her beloved kitty St. Clair wouldn’t be likely to leave marks like these, but it wouldn’t be the first time. 

   Of course, they would know.  She pushed that thought from her mind.  After five years of experience with crystals, she knew what crystals could and could not sense.  It was possible […]

I wonder how different many lives would be if they didn’t have others saying discouraging things to them as they grew up.

Things that amount to Cursing a persons life, ;…… “You’ll never amount to anything”, “You can’t do anything right”, “Why are you so stupid”, “If you keep doing what your doing, your never going to succeed.”

Positive things said in the right way might make all the difference in a persons life.

I had been on the receiving end of the negative discouraging words all my life.

I like when I see others trying to lift people out of this dismal poop thats posted here.

I think when […]

I want to know what it was like, especially if you became violently ill trying to Overdose on Opiates.

Have any of you seen another person OD on opiates ?

Getting sick and vomiting wouldn’t be a peaceful way to go.

sometimes there is nothing i want more. after cutting up my arms badly which usually helps me i just want to end everything even more – usually cutting helps, but this time, i just can’t stop the naggin thoughts of death, i’ve been trying to sort this but i dont think i can keep this up im out of energy just trying to fight these feelings and thoughts. maybe this is the best thing. im just so done with everything.

But my neck hurts real bad…

All our life is made by desicions. Every day, every step we choose something and we change the direction.

Sometimes its hard. Why can’t come somebody and tell what to do? Like we were kids – go there, go there, go there.. Life is much harder when we are adults. One step can change all range of events.

Like i have to decide now – go to foreign country to make money or stay here, with friends and family, but live in dissatisfaction by material way. Why can’t somebody tell which way is better?  Just push the bottom and watch the future.. I guess that is the […]

So tired of hearing I was brainwashed by the childrens aids, by my cousins, that if I wanted to move out at 16, I should have no help from anyone…That’s all I wanted, some help, before I find it’s too late. Because my home was hell, but I returned got molested inside my home, and watched my father piss himself from alcoholism, while my mother accumulated animals and clutter over clutter.

Now I’m 24, being told I’m weak, a failure. I mutilate myself for a reason, stopped for the longest time too, but couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m on Disability for anxiety and Borderline Personality […]

SOmething keeps takin me back here
I barely post anymore cause i dont have the word to explain it and am leaving my feelings in a dark place, i tried living with my emotions but i was silent all the time and it started to piss people off. I left society, school and family problems and dwelled with my will to die alone in my room, it made the life around me harder with every one’s disapointment and disaproval. I don’t talk to theripist cause ive Had many before and look at me now. not saying i wouldnt but whats the point if i wanna […]

I have been researching suicide methods on and off for about a year. I have had suicidal ideation for a long time before that, but I hadn’t considered very seriously the idea that some suicide methods are more reliable than others, or that I might survive an attempted suicide at all. I quickly learned that most methods are, sadly, all too survivable. The only thing that could make me feel sadder would be trying to die and surviving, assuming I remain intact enough to understand what has gone on.

I have been depressed since my childhood. My earliest memories are of feeling guilt and shame and […]

I don’t like talking about my problems because it always makes me cry. I don’t want to see a counselor because talking to one won’t solve my problems, it’ll just make me think about them. But I suppose they’ll help me find a way to cope with my feelings better.

And I’ve just had it rough from last October to this year’s October. A whole year of financial instability and no place to live. I’ve been living under someone else’s roof and abiding by their rules and cleaning up after everyone else’s mess and hardly having the energy to even take care of myself at the […]

I don’t want to live poor for the rest of my life. If I can get financial aid towards college, great. But first things first, I need a home. I currently live with family, but I can’t stay here forever. I need a home for myself and my husband and our toddler. It just stinks that I can’t get what I want at this moment due to our financial situation. I’m sure nearly everyone here can relate. You don’t see a lot of wealthy people committing suicide. Or maybe you do, I don’t know. I just know financial stress is the root to a lot […]

If I could disappear and no one would notice that I was gone, I would do it without a second thought.

It’s not that I don’t want to hurt anybody. At this point, there’s no one left to hurt. I just don’t want to be discussed after I’m gone.

I’ve been forgotten already, I don’t want to be remembered anymore.

Sometimes I am happy and I think that my life will turn out well. I think that I am fortunate, blessed, special. I know that I am loved and appreciated. Sometimes this isn’t enough. An empty hope for my future? People who care about me in this messed up world? Why even live? Life seems pretty pointless anyways. Humans are all selfish..even those you trust the most will screw you over..and you will screw over your best friends too. And you judge them all. And you judge yourself. And you know you’re no better than any of the other people you judge so harshly, only […]

I don’t know why, but I was immensely depressed today.

I woke up feeling negative and I was running about ten minutes late when I went to the bus. Minutes earlier I looked at the girl I used to like’s (Briana’s) facebook and realized she was in a relationship with someone else.

A year ago yesterday I remember she went to a Stars concert and I texted her to wish her a good night before it happened and it had lots of kisses in it.

Everything bad from last year is coming back. Today that all seemed to hit home. After a year of trying to get over everything nothing’s […]

            Gonna take the pills. Hopefully, dont take to many at the most maybe 5. i need to escape……… need to get away…. maybe get the razor after that…….   Here. Goes. Nothing……..

Wat exactly would i need to overdose sucessfully

Ever since our DNA altered to perfect us into the consumable, reproductive animals we are suffering has occurred in probably 7/10 of our population. Most of us strive for happiness, religion, or love and the most general reproduction. If we could overcome the barriers of fear and commit suicide the world would be a better place ( Economically and more satisfying) Most of want to commit suicide because honestly the faster you do it the better you have lie to yourself saying there are purposes to life when there really isn’t. Nor God or theory’s can be proved were stuck in confusion. […]

I’ve been happy for the last couple of days. I shouldn’t be. It’s creeping me out. Because i KNOW this is because of my pms. This… Is not how it’s supposed to work. It’s like my pms hormones have put a pillow around all my worries!

It’s disturbing, but it’s hell of a lot better than not being disturbingly happy. Suicidal thoughts reduced to a tenth of what it was ^_^ If only it wasn’t because i’m ignoring all my problems -_-“

well for so long ive been wanting to just die and i thought suicide was the only solution to ending all my pain and misery. ive also started cutting again. but no matter how deep or how much i cut the pain never fades away i now know suicide/cutting isnt the answer to being “happy” again its something i need to work on in the inside i guess? i really dont know. anyways everyones telling me i need to be put on medication but i dont wanna have people saying more shit about me than they already  do idk i feel like if the word got […]

I had planned on today being the day. I woke when roomate left for work at 6am. I set up the “tank” affixed the line and mask to my face and couldn’t do it at first. I Kept taking it off and putting it back on. This went on for 4 hrs. The last time I put it on, I actually opened the valve and inhaled possibly 2 breaths, I felt a great deal of panic as I felt something was happening, I was on the edge of passing out, yet the panic and heart rate was thru the roof.

I am so freaking scared to […]