General

I had refused to get out of my bed this moring. I just lay there doing nothing. My tv was off and everything seem…empty or quiet. Everything… was just… dark. I just cover myself and waited to die. I was so alone. All i could think about was him.. even alot of stuff from my past. Why couldnt the silent presents take me away. Why was i left alone in the dark to think about everything. Wondering why i was so hurt. I dont feel to well and its really hot. My neck really hurt so bad its really killing me. I wish i had […]

I don’t know where to go when I feel this way I lost my razor so I can’t cut.how dare they freaking ruin my summer I hate life I hate myself this eefin sucks when I thought i could be alone someone has to ruin everything just go away I never needed you why did you ever appear LEAVE don’t you have something or someplace to do or go rather then ruin every single second of what may be my last days

My brother is 18.
He tried to commit suicide twice the past two months. I am 14 years old, and the only ones to know about it are his girlfriend and myself.
He doesn’t go out.
Not even to school.
He doesn’t talk to anyone but me and his girlfriend.
I am not supposed to know this,
but his girlfriend and I are very close friends end she had to tell about it to someone.
Our parents a divorced and I live with my father in a foreign country while my brother lives with my mother in our mother country.
He tried to cut his […]

Falling from the sky

Only to be hit with reality

My wings broken and torn

My soul shredded

But atleast I have my heart

The only thing you gave me

I should just let the darkness absorb my life

And Bring me to my misery</3

I’m so depressed.
I can’t think.
I just want to cut.
And cry
Why does it feel so good?
Why can’t I stop?
It’s like an addiction.
A forcive habit.
So many scares.
It’s like I’m shredding my leg.
His initials carved into my leg.
Hate carved into my leg.
I can’t feel my leg.
So much pain.
I’ve turned numb.
Is this the end?
Someone please take.
Far away
From here.
From….
This….

When I walk away
I want you to grab my arm,
Kiss me
And say “don’t go”
Behind my smile,
My fake smile,
Is my soul,
Slowly fading away,
Withering away Into..
Nothing
When I’m with you
I’m reborn inside
That’s
When my smile becomes real
I look up at you
See you smile
I smile
A real smile
A smile that only happens
When I’m with you
Think about you
See you
Hug you
Kiss you
Love you

I was sitting here angry.
I decided that I was going to do it.
I got my pills out and put one to my lips.
Then I got a text message and I guess I was hoping for a reason to stay.
It wasn’t a reason to stay at all.
I cried and cried and cried.
I got my blade.
I cut, I cut, I cut, and cut til i couldnt see my leg through the blood.
I’m better now.
I’m not crying.
I’m just thinking about the reason why I started cutting.
I’m worthless.

i cant decide of whether or not to kill myself if i kill myelf family members will be hurt friends will miss me, but im tired of living through this pain. i want to let go i want to be free but still i cannot find the courage to do it, wat do i do if suicide or running away is the only way away from this place which should i choose? i need someone to guide me and help along the way, but yet ther is no one, no one who knws my pain is there anyone out ther willing to listen?

so it seems to me that i need to make a drastic change in my personality because i really do care too much about other people and their well being. i force myself it be the best person to everyone i meet and genuinely listen and care what other people have to say, but it seems even tho i strive to do this when i wanna kill myself constantly and struggle through every waking moment the ones who know nothing of that pain dont even lift a finger for me or even try to be good to me, everyone i have ever met has eventually turned out to be another […]

 Life can be ended so easly. Easier then what we have to go through in life. I don’t understand why we have to go through so much in this life…just to die. What’s waiting for us in the end? Do we get a prize? No. I know the way I’m going…and I choose the way I do it. Goodbye, now.

last week i had blood test and yesterday i already got the result…the doctor said that i have a irregular heart beating…i want to die now…so for now on i always eat a high cholesterol food so that my heart will be getting worst…i want u to give me an advice if i make my heart worst or i just only cut my wrist????

I’m never going to lift myself out of this. I just created a playlist of triggering songs on my iPod. I’m so pathetic…I need someone to save me from myself.

why is life so demeaning
why is life so sad
why dose my life have no meaning
why do they all thank I’m so bad
why dose the world have to be trash
why didn’t my life end in that crash

it hurts… it hurts alot. i can feel it cut me up like a sharp deadly knife. Im losing everything. Even when i smile it hurts alot. i think im going to cry. no lie but i dont want anyone to see. I cant trust anyone anymore. I dont even know who to go to anymore. It hurts alot. Too painful even… I guess im ready to end it. Im ready to go far away from everyone. Who cares if they miss me or not? who cares if they love me. If they care they would had help but guess what… they didnt they didnt […]

i just realised who i am, why im maybe better off alone. im the guy you flirt with, dance with, have a night of fun with…but i’m not the guy you take home to mum. maybe if i realised this earlier i wouldn’t of got so attatched.

Okay, so a bit about me. I have mental disorders, i’ve had them since i was 8. Which means wherever i go, i hear voices in my head saying ‘ugly slut’ or ‘kill yourself’ and i think it’s the people surrounding me. I had to take meds when i was 8 up until now, 15 years old because i suffered severe depression. But now, i recently dated a girl called Megan and we’d been going out for 3 weeks, knowing her for such a short amount of time and the way she’d made me feel. I’m not a happy person at all but Megan made […]

When my boyfriend lies beside me in bed at night, and tells me that he was thisclose to drinking drain cleaner that day, I believe him. I believe him because I know just how dark it is in his mind. I’m not like him. I find happiness in everyday things and comfort in friends. And all he has is me, he tells me every day. He has no education, no decent career prospects. He lives in his parents basement, smoking weed, and won’t save money to get out. He tells me he wants to save for an engagement ring, but I don’t want it–I just want […]

So this might be my last post or it might not, either way, I will be unable to get back on the site for a while, I can’t say why or for how long or even when I leave, but please look after each other. And please look after Hailey_baby for me, I love that girl so much, and I won’t be able to talk to her while I’m gone.