General

Today is a bad day. I trusted someone and I am finding out their true colors. I am hurt. People can be soo cruel when they want to be.

Hey everyone, I just wanted to let you know that I got accepted to Xavier in Cincinnati, my first pick for my college choices.
And I felt nothing. I’m supposed to feel something right?
Nothing, just a cold indifference. It’s like even my accomplishments are trivial, meaningless 😛
oh well

anyway, I just want to ask a question, is there any way a college can withdraw their acceptance from someone? I know there is, and I’m not planning on coasting the rest of my year, I just want to make sure I stay as safe as possible regarding this college.

thanks everyone

i stumbled upon this site trying to find answers about what i had recently done to myself. i’m 25 years old and my life has been on a continuous downward spiral since i was about 20. It probably started earlier than that but that’s when things started to get really unmanagable. I’ve developed a drinking problem, been arrested a handful of times, terminated an unwanted pregnancy, and most recently I am involved with a physically and emotionally abusive man. He has extremely bad jealousy issues and shares my affection for booze. He has hit me only once about 2 years […]

This is my first post on this site, which I found after typing “I want to disappear.” I read the post titled the same and some of the comments on post and realized that maybe my own feelings and story could help someone like her story helped me.

So, I go through cycles in my depression. I go months at a time feeling like my life is worth something and that I have things to live for. These are happy times and when I feel like I do now I try to remember those times, however, this is never enough. Recently I have thought about why […]

im so young idont know why i feel this way i used to be soo happy…! i guess what people say can really bring you down. i lost everything they were alll my friends but now he made my world hell. i really liked him he liked me but now he loves to see how down i am an loves to say oh shes prettier than you your a whore ! im sick of being called the “mean crowd” i wish people knew me before they judged me. i love my family and friends thats why i feel selfish even thinking about suicide. im […]

school. its just a big swarm of people trying to be accepted. trying and failing. trying a succeeding. not trying at all. trying too hard.

is this normal? do other people do this? do other people think this? have other people got this? everyone just wants to be the same as everyone else. they dont want to say the wrong thing. or do somthing wierd. they just want to be accepted.

the worst part. once your accepted. you can stop trying. you have to pull your weight or they’ll just throw you off the train.

then theres the actuall work. and you put it off your whole life […]

Like The taste of your blood is weirdly intriguing.

Blood from cutting Is intoxicating.

Weird?

Spreading My blood from the cuts all over my Lips & Fingers.

It’s like Im a new person when I cut.

A new personality, A completly different person, Not depressed or sad, but  Like I don’t give a Fuck about anything or Anyone.  Its like Killing myself  seems somewhat natural and not a big deal.

Anybody?  Am i the only psycho here?

Just a thought….

Im in the mood to cut.

Cold  Razor Blade.

Seriously, Telling myself no

But I hate feeling

feeling Stressed, Upset and hopeless.

I want 2 cut again, but after

I regret it. I cut then After…. Totally Hate that I did it.

Feeling more misunderstood & Hopeless right about now..  What’s wrong with me?

Y can’t I be normal? Be Happy all

the fucking time?

I need an answer and no one is here.

Fuck It.

I wish i could vomit blood on every despicable disgusting worthless repugnant existent life on earth. Then I’ll dig a fucking ditch and die in it. Mmmmm yeah sounds great isn’t that right malfeitor? Sure is!

I am having a really bad day. Things aren’t good with my husband, he loves me, but he is quite immature regarding his relationship skills, he often acts like an elephant in a china shop and hurts me immensely by the things he yells at me when he is angry.

I have a myriad of psychological disorders, depression, PTSD, a behavioural addiction driving me towards suicide, plus probably OCD. I am getting counselling, and I am taking a whole collection of medications each day.

Still, today the urge to kill myself became so strong I nearly gave in. I have two teenage sons, and I know […]

On my last post with some pictures, a couple people complained that I looked to happy…

anyway,  just in case they want to look at a picture where I’m NOT smiling, here’s one.

see? it looks worse, or at least different or weird, because society deems that we all smile for pictures. While we can do what we want, the general acceptance of the maddening crowds is unfortunately a vital objective for all of us…

I have always been feeling horribly lonely, and I have always pretended that i enjoy being alone! But this time, in a nutshell, someone breaks my heart. Briefly, I am good enough to serve her, but not enough to love her. But I do love her, no one understands how much I love her. I do not blame her for breaking my heart, honestly I am still in love with her and thinking about her and promising her I will keep serving her but not loving her.  Pathetic liar, right ? Yes, I am a fucking pathetic, useless, piece of shit loser who do not […]

Yesterday was a year that my son held me down and let his girlfriend kick me all over my body until I was black and blue.  They both came back four days later and stole my personal belongings.  He let her take my coats.  That is the worst part of it.  Well, it’s all the worst part of it, like him calling  me a pervert lesbian *****, accusing me of wanting to see his “wife’s” naked body.  Okay, I went into the bathroom, didn’t know they were both in the shower together.  I did this with him all the time and it was never a big […]

It was a balmy day along the lush green banks of the mighty river. The single lane highway radiated waves of heat that made the road seem to melt before the eyes of a young man whose heart was dead. His name was Andrew Dentch, and he was going to see one of the few people who hadn’t abandoned him. Andy was going to help his friend learn about the things of this world too boring to be called literature, physics. Andy didn’t know very much about the workings of the universe, but he could make any subject come to life, he was a […]

I hate my life so much. I hate my mother, her boyfriend and my sisters. I’m constantly battling depression and they my family tell me its not a real illness and I just want attention. My mother is constantly throwing me out of the house for being there, putting my life in black bags and putting them outside in the cold while her and her new boyfriend play happy families inside. She constantly calls me fat, ugly, and any other word nasty enough she can think of at the time. I’ve been in and out of hospital suffering from bulimia and anorexia. My friends are […]

im a simple guy. i dont need much to be happy. possesions mean nothing to me the most important thing to me in life is love.  i appreciate a girl more than anything. there soft faces. beautifull eyes and curves. the best moments is when there in my arms. but i cannot give the love in the way i want. i am not strong. my mind is weak and breaking. i dont wanna drag them down anymore with me. i dream of my life being better, the great boyfriend, father i could be. this shame is becoming to much to bare. my days are meaningless. i […]

I’m new here….but I just needed a place to talk.
My life is pretty much perfect…great parents, great school, friends. But there are things I just can’t get over… All I feel is this constant ache…pain…and it won’t go away. I am so sick of living, I am just so tired of trying. I just want some rest.