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I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

I wanted to die tonight

by Ellieanna
written by Ellieanna

I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder since I was 16, so 16 years now. I accepted I would have good times and bad times. I accepted I would be dependant on drugs to be okay.

What I didn’t accept was that I would get sick two years ago, to the point where it was either take drugs for my illness, and not for my bipolar disorder, or the reverse. I didn’t think I would be this sick for this long. 7 months ago, I got out of a nasty 2 year relationship. He was awful. But I tried to kill myself because if he couldn’t love […]

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Suicide…Read This First Response

by darkestdays
written by darkestdays

Hello,
I just recently came across this site as I was in a broken state. I’ve taken hundreds of online depression quizzes and all seem to say the same thing…that I am severely depressed. Every time I bring up being tested to my mom, she makes it seem like it’s a big joke and laughs. It has never once got through to her that maybe something is wrong with me. People talk about me, “friends” don’t want to hang around me, my mother claims im a long list of words such as: ugly, fat, a pig, stupid, attention seeker, drama, dumb ass, retarded….. the […]

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My Story

by _.twelfth._
written by _.twelfth._

This year I was diagnosed with a metabolic disorder towards my eyes. And my diet changed completely.

Then around May time this year I started to feel depressed, suicidal and I had anxiety. And I started cutting.

Then I promised my best friend I would stop cutting. I broke that promise twice. This time I promised and he made me swear on his life:(

A month ago I found out my dietitian thinks I need Physchologist, she thinks something’s wrong with me.

About a week ago I had surgery. And then about 2days ago I did the most stupidest move in the world and it could’ve ruined my life. […]

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6 comments
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What a damn loser I am

by LonelyDragon
written by LonelyDragon

So um, I guess I am kinda new here, ok? But eh… I kinda need someone to share this with. It’s been eating me for so long now.

So uhhh first, a bit of background: I am an “artist”. Which means I am a talentless amateur who can’t even draw a stick figure right! But whatever.

Have you heard of that site “deviantart”? It is frankly terrible. I frequent it.

So 2 years ago or so, there was this… it was kinda like an RP group. I was bored so ehh let’s join it. But applications were closed and you had to wait and they had a chatroom […]

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Let us dance

by mranony
written by mranony

I think my girlfriend is getting depressed again.

I want to help her through this so I’ll try being strong for her to hold on since she has done the same for me multiple times in the past. I hope we can get through this.

Cheers, my friends.

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It’s funny how long the night lasts

by foreveristhenight
written by foreveristhenight

And my thoughts spiral, how funny it is that the empath is the one that needs help themselves.

It’s been a while since she died. She was my world and I was hers. The main thing I remember was the sunshine always shone from and through her, she was always the nicest and most giving, generous person.

Should I have wondered why?

Apparently she was planning her death since before she met me. I never saw any of it, all I saw was her mask and it never slipped. I think I gave her hope, until one night, after her parents had physically abused her.

I received a phone […]

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I Feel Better Being Nothing

by wolfanasan
written by wolfanasan

I feel less suicidal, being nothing.

I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.

I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?

Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?

 

 

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by abisslover25
written by abisslover25

The only thing keeping me here is I really want to find myself again and see if I am any happier. So here is a really long vent.

 

6 years ago I was a teenager. I drove drag cars, I worked 2 jobs, I spent my days off working on my street car, I was a huge canabis smoker. I had a place to live and a room mate, and when I threw a party people came from miles around to be there. I would leave and catch a plane and go places on a whim because I wanted to get away. I was losing weight […]

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Story Time

by impossible_girl
written by impossible_girl

Once upon a time, there was an Impossible Girl who didn’t much think any sort of happiness was possible for herself. She went looking for ways to end her misery, and, in the process, she found the Suicide Project. She lurked a little, and then she started talking, started posting. She began to formulate a plan, an idea that when the eyes on her finally looked away, she would step out of this world and the pain she’d felt for too long.

One day, after the plan had failed, a new comment showed up on one of her posts. And the unexpected […]

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There is hope.

by NZsocietystory
written by NZsocietystory

Last year I was so lost, depressed and broken that I decided it was my time to leave this world. I wrote my letter, cleaned my room, grabbed the rope, jumped out my window and ran. I went into a forrest, began to tie the rope around the tree and then around my neck. In front of me was a massive empty, dark field. Behind me was a giant fence with houses behind it. I saw flash lights in the corner of the field in front of me so decided I needed to jump right away but then I heard a bang from above me. […]

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Proud of Myself

by InhalingAnxiety
written by InhalingAnxiety

Last night after work, I washed dishes AND I made supper for me and my boyfriend.

Many of you guys understand with depression it’s hard to get yourself to do anything. It’s hard to become motivated or even get out of bed. And it’s really been bad for me lately. I usually put all my energy and motivation into going to work, and even then I miss a day every other week. So it’s hard to come home from work and do anything that needs done. I usually just want to go to bed when I get home.

I know I haven’t accomplished much, but for me […]

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It seems longer …

by Dawg
written by Dawg

For those of you who don’t know me – Hi, I’m dawg. As I do from time to time I pop in and out of the SP world – for no particular reason other than I try to keep up with the many many great people who I’ve met with here in the SP world … again, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m old … much older than most who participate here – I point this out because I have a hard time remembering all the names, so I’m not going to list the multitude of names I’ve met here – but […]

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Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?

by niki
written by niki

Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?

What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.

for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]

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Listen

by StupidUsername
written by StupidUsername

It has been a while since I last posted on Suicide Project. I know no one really cares about my posts and that is fine. I understand. Now the thing is I am doing really, really well since I was last on.

When I was last on I had just told my parents that my grandfather had molested me and that I am bisexual. I was highly depressed and I was having panic attacks and I was failing in school, not to mention I was feeling like I had no one to talk to. That was way back in I think March. I got through the […]

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Day 1- Depression

by ClaudiaValencia
written by ClaudiaValencia

I think I will start posting everyday that my depression acts up.

Ive been depressed since I was 3 years old on and off. It’s really quite odd though to think of a depressed three year old.  Lately I’ve been getting worse though. I thought I had been cured of my depression for a while because I hadn’t felt it there. I think the reason I’m feeling depressed is because I stopped taking my antidepressants  for a few days…. I know, not a smart choice.

Im gonna see my therapist at one o’clock today.

I haven’t seriously thought of suicide. I’ve cut myself quite badly though. The wounds […]

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My “Bestfriend”

by crockpot14
written by crockpot14

Everyone has that person who they can tell anything to and they know they won’t judge, or make fun of them for it. I have always considered this guy to be my best friend. We have known each other since fifth grade, and when we met we just clicked. We are now both juniors, I still consider him to be my bestfriend but i know he has drifted to other people, and i get we both have other friends, but he sort of just dropped me. But with him, its that he won’t answer me for a few days and won”t talk to me in […]

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I wanted to share my story…

by ClaudiaValencia
written by ClaudiaValencia

I am really nervous about sharing my story as I dont want to say anything that will bother or upset anyone 🙁 but i will try my best to express myself in a way in which no one will be upset by.

 

I was born in Venezuela and i moved to the united states when i was 3, iam 17 and almost 18 now. (forgive me for not mentioning where in the USA i live)

I am really grateful to this country because it has given me great opportunity where as in Venezuela I would most likely not amount to much (not that i will ever amount […]

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My Thoughts

by mystory0496
written by mystory0496

I remember feeling from a very early age like I didn’t belong anywhere. I always felt like the black sheep in my family and  I was always pretty shy so making friends wasn’t really a strong suit.

I started getting depressed when I was about 12 years old. I had a teacher who I usually went to when I was having a bad day because I knew no one else would listen. I was having trouble fitting in when I was in middle school. I tried to  fit in with all different groups of people but I never really clicked anywhere. In […]

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The Second Time

by ariii
written by ariii

I wrote an essay here last summer about my first (and albeit more serious) suicide attempt. At the time, I was feeling pretty hopeful. I had just graduated from a residential program, I was well-medicated (though I had no idea how important this was), I was stable, my weekly therapy sessions felt like victory laps. In other words, I had made it — made it out, made it through, made it past the wreck of insanity that had been the last year of my life.

I didn’t talk much about diagnosis’ or meds in my previous essay; this essay is pretty much all about both of […]

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