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I Will Survive

I did this, you can too.

Make it or Break it

by marz
written by marz

From such a young age I have experienced so much pain. Age of 8 the most dear person in the world passed away, my granddad, the only person in the world who loved me more than my parents. Age 10 turned to smoking as a pain reliever and have been addicted ever since. Age 11 got moved half way around the world to a place I had no knowledge of, came back to UK a year later for holiday only to find out my dad has another wife and a child with her who was 4 years of age at the time, having committed bigamy. […]

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Night Tremors

by marz
written by marz

Why is it at night I wanna cut?

Burn my arm with that cigarette butt,

Feel that rush running though my veins,

That sweet sensation of pain,

Some nights I want to take the blade right along my neck,

End the misery, the pressure but out of all that what do I really get?

 

Then I think I should just do this,

I know for a fact I won’t really be missed.

People will be happy to see me go,

Didn’t think people could be so low.

They are the real soul takers,

And dream breakers.

 

Funny how when its morning my thoughts are gone,

Right at the crack of dawn,

I forget about the blade, the tablets, the […]

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I’m Paralyzed

by nerevars
written by nerevars

“There’s so much I could be doing.

So much that I want to do—even if I don’t know what it is that I want to produce.

But I can’t go faster than I’m already going and I’d rather die than stop but… where else is there to go?

I’m so… so scared of lying still and yet too mortified to switch gears.

Now all I do is linger.

In bed.

At the dinner table.

In the shower.

Everything happens but me.

And if it keeps up, I’m going to die this way… having gone in every direction

—but not having reached a single finishing line.”

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This life.

by KatrinaChua
written by KatrinaChua

Life is so unfair. Life is always giving me hard time even though i can handle it, but i’ m getting weaker, slowly i’m givingup. Each morning, I always tell to myself, why i am still alive. Is God still loves me?.. Why I’m still waking up every morning and still breathing?.. What will I do? I cant kill myself because i dont want to hurt my love ones especially that i have my first boyfriend. i dont want him to be like lea michele because of cory monteith. i want to be happy. i want to feel that i am loved by the people […]

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Late night thoughts

by anonymous.
written by anonymous.

I was told once, before we’re born we choose to come into this life. Told the possibilities of life are endless, you can do anything you put your mind to. Why is it that life contradicts that very statement. From a young age were forced to see the realities of what this life really is. A place where judgement of others is more important than judgement of one’s self. Where the rich strive and prosper and the poor struggle. Where the only peace you can find is in the bottom of a bottle. Or with a complete stranger, it seems the closest to you have […]

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The Englishman.

by speaknow
written by speaknow

So if you haven’t read my bio I’m 14 years old. To the surprise of many, I work. Today, I was feeling pretty down, but my job requires me to look perky, like there’s nothing wrong with me and the world (as if).  Subsequently, I kept a smile plastered on my face, even though the whole time I just felt like crawling into a hole so I could lay there and die. An englishman came into my line, and of course he had one of those awesome accents. I asked him if he were from the UK. He was pretty old, and it looked like […]

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dreams….alive or dead…..

by KIARA
written by KIARA

Dreams, a reason why we all work hard to conquer then,to live them.there is always a stage in our life when we let go of our dreams and our aspiration and that point of time we all lie to our ownself that maybe it was not in our destiny or maybe someting better is planned for us. Thats where we lose control over our fate…after this phase is over we all pamper our self make up stuff to satiate our pinching mind which makes us realise that we had done wrong…after all this will be over we again dream but this time its in our […]

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yust let me dissapear

by maui
written by maui

i feel like i cant become anyting like there is no hope for me no future
it seems like im a dissapointment to everyone
why wont i be a good person and take my own life it feels like thats the way to go then i cant dissapoint anyone then i cant hurt anyone
the pain of my loss will fade, the pain if i will stay will be worse
the only reason im still here is for her the one person in my live, but she is 4000 miles away

the power of a single person kept me alive while the poeple near me dont […]

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I Smoke Weed…

by MoreThanMyThoughts
written by MoreThanMyThoughts

… and it really helps with my depression.

I’m a 28-year-old living in Las Vegas. I was first “diagnosed” as clinically depressed when I was 12 years old; but I feel like I’ve been sad most of my life.

Up until recently, my life was completely shut down by my depression – I never got dressed, left my room, ate… there was some self-harm… I was consumed with thought of suicide and self-mutilation, but I managed not to act…

I entered out-patient treatment 3 months ago. On anti-depressants which seem to be helping… but, the real life-style change I’ve made is smoking weed from sun-up till bed time.

I’ve […]

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so…

by Engie
written by Engie

Haven’t slept in two days. Not depressed, just I get insomnia sometimes. I lie awake in bed with my eyes closed for several hours until my alarm goes off. So work was hard today. But I love my job. I thought about suicide for the first time in months today, but not with much conviction. I didn’t really want to die, not like before, but it just felt like it would be easier. I’ve stopped feeling depression (along with every other complex emotion) thanks to sertraline. It’s been such a long time since I felt happy our scared or angry or ashamed or sad. I […]

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My Life So Far

by iliveinsidemyhead
written by iliveinsidemyhead

Hey,

So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.

I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]

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Get in my heart

by ongaku
written by ongaku

Depression is not a heavy dissatisfaction with life. It is not a physiological cry for help. It is not an extreme form of sadness. Depression is the result of losing a beloved aspect of one’s life. Whether it’s one’s loved one, or a prized possession, or a concept… the loss of that which is loved causes the depression.

Our identities only fully exist in the hearts of those who care for us. We exist in our own bodies, but who we are is what we place in the consciousnesses of our dearest friends and family. Losing someone that important–or even losing something that important–feels like […]

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Oh, Nostalgia

by Blake SinBad
written by Blake SinBad

Dang, I haven’t been on here in forever, it brings back so many memories! I see there’s a lot of new additions to this site. Nice to see some new faces. Erm. Uh. You know what I mean. Anyway, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I’d update on the depression status.

My parents found out that I had been cutting, and they took my knife, blades, safety pins, and lighters away. I haven’t cut in 2 months and 3 days. I have never wanted to cut this badly before. My scars all look like those really cool white ink tattoos and you […]

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Dont you dare give up on this life

by audreyk
written by audreyk

As a child I started hating everyone. 2 years ago it got worse and i stopped going out, i didn’t go to School anymore, I stopped eating and never left my room. My mom started worrying but she didn’t know what to do so she just argued with me before she called a psychiatric and a lawyer which said that they will hospitalize me in some time. I had to wait about 3 Months before the could take me, they said. I was glad to be free so far although I was just sitting in my bed all day. Then I decided to end this pain. […]

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Why do i wanna feel like this?

by morrs084
written by morrs084

I’m beginning to feel better, whether it be my drugs finally working the sudden nice weather we’re having.. i am feeling better. I’m not thinking about hurting myself as much.. but i do still have these thoughts.  I’m cutting a lot again and i keep thinking of wanting to take all my pills. I finally got my pills back from my aunt who was keeping them from me. Ughhh

But after everything.. i feel guilty or bad feeling good. Like i’m letting the depression down? If that makes sense!?

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A weird and fucked up life

by missingryanandericand...
written by missingryanandericand...

I start most weekends with drinking a bottle of wine, then I have another one and then another. I take a few Xanax and a Vicodin or two. Next thing I know its Monday morning and time to go to work again. When I don’t do that I do meth so I can forget about my life. Yet every Monday I get cleaned up and go back to my job that pays me 300k a year. Three of my friends have killed themselves. I have tried at least twice. Now days I rather dull things with liquor and Xanax or meth. So I can get up […]

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next try

by RadiantLight
written by RadiantLight

So yeah, im new here and its really hard to write here although noone knows the hell who i am. Have been here now 2-3 months or so, watching other peoples posts n stuff. I can t believe its hard to write here bout my feelings, i mean noone here knows me and most guys here are quite nice. The void in my soul just so gigantic. Ist hurts so much. Its anxiety, i Know it. Sounds weird although i seemingly feel nothing anymore, i know im scared.

So this ist where i am. Feel free to just skip this post now. Im doing this cause […]

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