I lost my ex after a drug induced psychosis and spent all of my money (10 k ) in a year and have recently had to start again. I’ve saved up some money again and have met someone new but I just don’t feel it with her, and people complain about my customer service at work because I look depressed. I feel so repulsive all the time. I bought some oleander cuttings and plan to make tea and eat the leaves tonight. I’m not sure if it will work but I know if it does my family will be devastated, but I’m just fed up […]
Category:
My Suicide Note
I have been depressed for a long time and still never believed I was lonely, I have family and family etc.
Just this week it all came clear to me. Nobody understands me, nobody know who I really am, they don’t care about anything I like or are interested in, so I have nobody close to talk to.
Now it only feels like I have no friends, and my family are another world away from me. I don’t talk to them, and I have nothing to say to them, if I started talking about a passion or something I’m interested in, they would be hearing my voice, […]
It took a lot of planning. A lot of planning. There are things I think I’d miss, too. Things I’ll never get to do. But in the end, they say it’s the journey, not the destination. It makes sense, because the journey would be life. And the destination would be death.
So, I guess I should have started this way, but Dear Random People:
It’s so much easier to write a suicide note when you pretend it’s not to the people I’m going to hurt. And honestly, I’m really, really sorry from the bottom of my heart (which will be not be beating soon if all goes as planned). There’s […]
Its 2015 Before May my cousin still keeps on doing the same dame things to me I wish he would stop which he did around my he came back but with a girl good god yes his stop I thought. But no when his girl wasnt around he would still do the sexual things but this time he whispered in my ear while he forced me to have sex with him and took my v card but he told me “to bad I stool your v card now no guy would want to go out with you or marry you ” when he […]
You could have never known, and things would be no different. I tried to stay in touch; I made it clear I valued your friendship. I know life can be busy, and when so many people are on the edge of depression it’s hard to get excited about anything at all.
Even a person.
You’re forgiven for that, just like you always have been. I’ve never been known for a shortage of apologies after all; but you don’t get to pretend you just lost me.
You lost a little of me when I told you that secret, the one I could barely face myself, and you made me […]
life comes so easy to so many people. decent people around them. decent grades at school. decent personality. decent appearance.
thats all i really wanted. an average, decent life. i could live with that. but not this life where everything is a struggle.
things do work out better for some. dont tell me nothing good comes easy. the only good that comes easy for me is these suicidal thoughts and plans because they are my only escape from this hell life.
i am back to lying in bed all day staring at the walls falling in and out of sleep. it makes sense that this is how it […]
I am going to kill myself at the end of the week. I have an unpleasant meeting mid-week and I want to give it a day of buffer on either side. I’m not killing myself because of this stupid meeting, and don’t want it to look that way. I *could* leave a note, but justifying my suicide would do more harm than good, and leaving a listing things that *weren’t* a factor would be confusing.
I’m sick of dragging myself through life. I’m in my late twenties and have been suicidal since my early teens. Why I didn’t do it sooner is beyond me. That would […]
i have always had an issue with following through on things…i dont know if it is me or if i developed it as a bad habit from growing up in a different place every year for 10+ years. either way, i am finally going to commit to taking my own life.
the thought of suicide has brought me comfort and relief over the past few years, but this year i have been researching and planning it whenever the classic bullsh*t in my life resurfaces.
i.e bipolar alcoholic self absorbed mum and her abusive peado husband. and all they have tortured me […]
Fingers crossed ?
Words can never fully describe how emotionally bent I am. Seriously. Im at my wits end. My parents disapproval of me being gay, my physical ailment. My constant mental battle of staying alive is no longer pulling in my favor. Its stressful, I feel weak. Unworthy. Drained. I give up…
Hi I’m celina, I am 14 years old, and I have a problem And I think I need help. It all started four years ago ,I was 11 at that time in 6th grade. In the mid way of the school year ending, I thought about cutting . I thought it would be a very odd for some one to cut them self , and I want to know why and how does it feel and what do you use? All question in my head so I did at least try it. I used a pin and well no blood just a white line , […]
Recently I’ve been thinking about taking my own life. I just feel that I have no place in it and that doesn’t upset me at all, I’ve actually fully accepted this fate because I believe not everyone is cut out for living till the adult years. I’ve thought about suicide a few times in the past but now they’re so strong I don’t really have much control. I always had a feeling something was wrong with me since I was younger.
When I was a toddler my father was in and out of jail, he was alcoholic and was very violent. He […]
I’m tired – I don’t mean I want to go to sleep, I mean I’m tired of life.
I’m bored – I don’t mean that I’m bored of what we are doing right now, I mean I’m bored of everything and everyone in my life.
I want to leave – I don’t mean I want to leave the place we are in at this moment, I mean I want to leave my life and disappear.
I hate this – Not the thing that is currently going on, I mean fucking life.
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I have Aspergers syndrome.
I am a girl. Its not that visible. I am supposed to be very high functioning. The more I realize my struggles and my differences in contrast to other people.
I am pretty much down.
I just cant navigate through relationships. I cant let go of people. I still love somebody whom I loved five years ago, who moved, who I dont see anymore…etc. I make people mad. I make fuss of things that arent important. For normal people. I have just ruined another relationship of mine, because I was too pushy, too needy. I just dont seem to do anything right. Even weird […]
Today’s OCD thoughts are brought to you today by cheaters.
I have have been cheated on in every relationship I have ever been in and today o keep going over how it must feel. To be the person who has 2 ppl to choose from, a lot of times (in my cases) 2 people that love them.
I wonder what it’s like to have multiple people to love you?? I have never even had 1 person love me so it actually really is perplexing to me having 2 people love you or hell even WANT you. 9 hours this morning circling this idea in my head over […]
I was temporarily away. Everything came to be too much, leaving me bedridden for a few days. I slept so much that my bed began to stink and my body began to rot, in a sense.
I really didn’t want to return. I had left behind a huge mess, thinking that I was finally going to exit for good and consequently avoid it.
But, unfortunately, I’m still here. My method was poorly carried out that Wednesday morning.
So, fine. Physically, I’m here. I’m present. On this planet, I have mass.
Spiritually, though, I’m gone. I’m away. I’m not “beyond”, but I am absent.
When I came back the next week, […]
I’m 15 years old and I want to die. Today (I guess yesterday now) l told my sister that I didn’t want to live anymore. I also spent most of the day sleeping because I didn’t want to be awake.
Is it bad that all of my friends are moving on and they don’t care about me? I guess my friends and me included are “popular” and I don’t want to be friends with other people? I’ve been feeling left out for a while now. But does that make me a bad person that I choose not to reach out to other people because of […]
When I was a little kid I didn’t understand why people would be so sad and depressed, I didn’t understand any of this. I thought they just needed to tough up.
Now I am a 15 year old and all I want to do is disappear. I want to just leave and sethre all the relationships I have. I don’t want to die but I would die to disappear.
Last year when I was 14 I started getting severely depressed, but then I didn’t know what depression was. I just wanted to start running away and never turn back, I wanted to disappear so badly I would […]
It doesn’t matter if I kill myself tonight.
I’m destined for hell anyway.
I would just be trading hell on earth for hell in eternity
And I’ve no one to blame but myself
I had plenty of chances to do good
But I never gave a shit about anyone but myself
I feel very alone
I guess I’m not allowed to ask someone to join me in this journey on this site