i’ve always been someone who needs to be someone to other people, you know? having lots of friends who depend on and trust me has been the thing that keeps me going and makes me appreciate myself and my life. i don’t know when exactly i ran out of energy to spend on other people. why did that happen? at some point i became insanely apathetic. i had no energy to try and take care of everyone anymore. i lost my purpose, my calling in life and people got mad at me for not caring enough. why did i become such a bad friend? now i’m […]
Virtual Reality is an escape from Reality ,
Virtual Reality is the escape from Reality ,
this boring Reality (Reality is boring ) !
this boring real life (real life is boring ) !
this boring real world (real world is boring ) !
boring life ( life is boring) !
Seriously, when Reality is boring & mundane (even real Science is boring & mundane too, science fiction (sci-fi) is better than boring science real ! ) , Virtual Reality is the only TRUE / REAL progress for humanity / mankind / our human species !
with Virtual Reality (VR) technology , we can enter into […]
I’ve never been on this site before ever. I’m killing myself tonight but I just wanted to talk to some people before I do. Idk. I haven’t really talked to my friends lately. Just something to keep my mind off of it for a few hours I guess. Thanks homies
I find my post is different than most but also has an underlying similarity…. Suicide aside. I’m almost 30. I have a good job, the usual BS to deal with. I’ve travelled the world. I’ve seen amazing things and experienced one of a kind moments. I’ve laughed till I cried, I have stories that could lead to movie bestsellers…. I could list a million reasons why I shouldn’t kill myself but the hurt I carry with me is too heavy.
Like others, my childhood was not perfect. Lots of fighting, confusion and pain, but that’s not what I blame. I grew up as the youngest of […]
Today i am feeling happy and its been hard lately, but i want to share my happiness with all of you because every single person deserves and has the right to be HAPPY! You are strong and you are worth it, keep fighting <3
***Spread the happiness***
Many times when looking for suicide help online, I have received the same recurring phrase. A phrase I see on almost every suicide help website.
“Suicide is selfish”.
A phrase I do not agree with at all. First off, when most people use that horrible phrase, they have almost no means of explaining how suicide is selfish. Not even a little “maybe your family depends on you” or “how will you business survive without you”. Just the phrase “suicide is selfish” with nothing to back it up, so if you’ve ever said that to someone and they’re not receiving it, maybe that’s why.
To me, it all depends […]
I think about killing myself every day. The things I’ve done. The things people have done to me. My life. I have no home, I couch surf to random people, exs who’ve hurt me but I’m so lonely I don’t even care. Too selfish to remember what I’ve done to them. I’ve cheated. I’ve lied. I hate myself. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am in so much debt. I was hit by a drunk driver a few years ago and almost died. I wish today that I would have. Or maybe I am and am already in hell.
I’m out on 100,000 dollar bail right now. I’m facing a home invasion charge in Illinois which is a class x felony. The punishment if convicted is a minimum 6 to 30 years in the department of corrections. I am facing a death sentence. These alleged charges are total bullshit but regardless of the outcome I will come out the other side 10,000 dollars in debt from lawyers. I am 22 years old. For all intents and purposes This situation is going to cost me 6-30 years of my life. The courts are a mockery of justice in illinois. they are courts of conviction not […]
I have never been one to share my personal thoughts or feelings. I try to go throughout life quietly, minding my own business and not involving anyone with my personal affairs. That being said, this was difficult to publish into cyber space, among all the folks who have nothing better to do but verbally attack other human beings from behind a screen. I know that. But here I am. I have never been a “glass half full” type of person. I’m more of a “the entire lake is dried up” kind of gal. Which is why I found it strange and even checked myself for […]
science is boring !
science fiction is better than science fact !
sci-fi is better than science fact !
real science is boring !
Reality is boring ! Reality sucks !
Real life is boring ! Real life sucks !
Real world is boring ! Real world sucks !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
I HATE MONEY […]
Talking about the good moments of my childhood forces me to be both nostalgic and incredibly sad at the same time. I wish things were that simple because even though I didn’t have a particularly easy childhood, a child’s problems are so much less complex. Today I decided to text a friend that I haven’t spoken to in a while. We met through a therapy group and somehow we clicked, even though neither of us are the most vocal of people. But I feel like we understood the pain in each other’s eyes, in a way no one else could. We never told each other […]
I have read a lot of posts from here over the years, particularly when I Google something random and crazy about death or killing myself lol. I decided to make an account earlier when I read some posts about donating organs after suicide. I have been in love with death for many years now. I think I romanticize the thought in my head too much sometimes. I am of peaceful and sound mind. I would never hurt anyone so I assure those reading this that no one (except maybe my own self..) is in any physical danger on my behalf.
I am going to be 23 […]
I just want this nightmare to end. I want to wake up and find none of this really ever happened. The love of my life, my reason for living has found someone else. He’s still here with me in body, but not entirely here. I know it’s still going on and I want to die so badly. The only reason that I’ve not done it yet is because I hope one of these days he’ll see, that he’ll open his eyes and see that it was all just a big mistake. But I’ve not many days left, I just hope it happens soon.
My feet are clammy from the marathons I am forced to run in my mind. Was that you that came to me in the hopeless dark of the night? Or are these blessed visions an after image of a cursed mind? My soul is an enigma. It baffles the masses and their fear overruns their ignorance. Alas, even I am perplexed by what I have become. A solitary phantom drifting down a rocky precipice but it cannot reach the dark waters. I wish I could ascend on starry wings though this is just a fantasy, once cherished. So what will be the method of my […]
In 2010, after over a decade of severe depression and several years of suicidal feelings, I made the decision to finally end things. To this day, it is the only time I have ever made concrete plans to take my life.
I kept a journal documenting my decision and feelings before and leading up to my planned suicide. Below are excerpts from two of those journal entries (the second being parts of a private message sent to someone from my past I had reconnected with. It was written as my end date was approaching).
Perhaps there are some people who will find comfort in reading these things […]
For so long, what kept me from doing myself in was the fear. Would I go to Hell assuming that there is one? Or would I simply disappear into nothingness? But perhaps one of my biggest fears was becoming a ghost because being damned for all eternity to stay on this Earth was one of the worst hells I could imagine. This was before I realized I was the Phantasm, of course, already a ghost in this life. Now I am no longer afraid and I have made peace with my fear. I have asked the higher power for forgiveness for my wrongs as well. […]
All my life has contained of happy children and families.When I see them I can’t help but feel jealous.They seem so happy while my family acts like I wasn’t born.I wish my life could go back to normal like when I was little,we would spend every waking hour together but now we are lucky to spend 5 seconds together.After my grandfather died on January 31 2013, I have felt so alone and lost.I have tried so many times to be someone im not because I have no one to look up to and no one to help guide the way.I changed my hair […]
I really can’t handle the pain anymore. It’s like a black void in my chest that hurts but makes me numb at the same time.
I can’t take the constant tears. I don’t even know what it’s like to be “happy.”
I’m tired of feeling lost. I wish I could go home, but I don’t have one.
What’s the point? People tell you, “oh don’t kill yourself, you’ll just hurt those who love you,” but what about ME? I’ve been hurting! Why do I have to live in pain, just to satisfy others?
Why can’t I just disappear and make the pain stop, make everything stop?
After long years of struggling and […]
Just a glimpse into my ordinary life…I was at work just like every other day and decided to check my personal email on my phone during lunch. A funny yet perverted friend of mine found a craigslist ad and receive various semi-nude and nude photos from the person and he sent them to me. This is nothing new but in the pictures, the background items seemed familiar. I ask him to forward the email chain to me and I pulled the metadata from the pictures and they were taken at the same time as my wife was at a friend’s house out-of-state and the make […]
I have felt so distant lately even though I know my isolation could ruin the few relationships I have, I can’t stop myself. Do they really care? I hope not. So many times I have heard people say that they only want to be loved but all I ever wanted was to be forgotten COMPLETELY. Not in this stagnant state of conditional love. It would make the transcendence so much easier. I linger in the shadows so that I am overlooked and I won’t have to answer questions or ask them. I inquired for help in a moment of weakness, of fear. I have come […]