For a long time I’ve been hanging by a thread. Only here to make my daughters life worth something. Tied here because her dad died of bronchial pneumonia whilst I was pregnant.
Now because I cannot even put food on the table for her, I am having to look for someone who is capable of doing so.
I will be so calm, happy and relieved, at the same time scared, worried and sick that my daughter will have to endure this life with someone she doesn’t know and without both of her parents.
I tried to get a job, none pay anymore. Job centre has […]
I’m 18 years old, and I’m done with life. It all started when I was 12. I started self harming. I’m not really sure why I started, but I couldn’t stop. Anytime anything went wrong, I would cut. 6 years later, I’m still cutting. I can’t control the urge, ive tired so hard to stop… but I just can’t. I’m covered in scars. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors, every kind of mental health professional you can think of and they still can’t find out what treatment works for me. They’ve tried it all. I’ve been sexually abused by a man who is still walking free, abandoned […]
Earworm.
http://youtu.be/incXMcAUbtk
Sometimes I think I was born suicidal. No idea whether or not that’s actually possible, but I was certainly born … damaged. I’m choosing my words carefully, I don’t know how much I want to say yet.
But yes. Born damaged and then damaged a whole lot more in various ways.
I made one serious attempt many years ago and one that turned out farcical a few years ago and now … now I am sure of many more things and so I have some leeway, when the damage allows it.
Perhaps I will have time to write the longest suicide note in the world and then, I […]
“The death and I are playing hide and seek”-nobodyknows__
I cant do this anymore, I just cant my mom hates me , my aunts, uncles , cousins, friends all think I’m useless. I just wish my dad were alive, he would tell me everything is alright he would tell me he loves me. But hes gone the one person that loved me left me. I have tried getting to him but nothing works. I’ve tried committing suicide at least 4 times all because of my mom and her boyfriend. no I am not looking for attention I just need to get it all out by writing. Tonight’s going to be my 5th attempt wish […]
Ok first off, yes I’m fat. But being told from a guy that your fat, useless and ugly really hurts. I’ve been called down all my life by my mom and other family member, people at school . There’s not a lot I can take in life. I’m very self conscious. I think about my image all the time. I’ve never felt like this until I started getting called down. I never thought I was ‘fat’ I knew I had a little more weight then skinny people, but I’m not extremely fat. I just have a little extra meat. Now I think if myself as […]
I’ve decided life really isn’t worth living, and want to die. I want to commit suicide while still being able to use my organs for donation, so I can at least save a few lives in the process. The problem is if I die and no one finds me right away then my organs will be no good. Also I read death by cardiac arrest as opposed to brain death will make it so my organs will be unable to be used. I figure since I’m going this route if I can do some good and save a few people in the process it would […]
This is all my words. Here it goes hope you enjoy…
I’m drowning in the darkness of my bloody lost soul
freezing and falling through this endless black hole
I can feel it all my blood is raining and the knife is sawing
but none of this will help the frostbite in my mind start thawing
I feel forzen isolated broken and alone as my depression leaks from parts unknown
Maybe from my slit wrists deep down to the bone
cuts and scars on my body never to be shown
So insecure and emotional it makes me cry
To the point where I lay in bed and pray […]
Hiya for who ever has reads this. My problem has been going on for nearly 9 years now, out of a 7 day , say 3 to 2 days am happy full of life,loud making jokes,love my girlfriend full of trust , then for next 4 days am down in dumps don’t want to get out of bed,moody,paranoid,want to kill my self this has been going on for years and iv never been for help (and don’t plan to) but a came across this site and was wondering if any one has symptoms and can help ?
I discovered this website by accident while searching for ways to die without pain/painless suicide then i read an article entitled How to Die without pain and reborn again! [Tutorial]. I was moved and inspired by it and it made me cry. It is a great article but i think it’s not applicable for me.
I tried to be happy. I forced myself to be happy. to remove negative thoughts and people in my life but life itself makes me feel that i don’t belong to this world and don’t deserve to be happy.
I’ve been bullied since i was a child. My childhood days are the […]
So Hey my names Kris or actually that’s my nickname I’m 15 years old and am suicidal a cutter bulimic anorexic mentally unstable girl. Let’s start at the beginning shall we? My shit storm of a life started in 7th grade where I was verbally and physically bullied by a 8th grader by the name of Leo it started out with the name calling teasing of my weight then it escalated to pushing shoving tripping sometimes kicking and punching but I endured it cause no one would believe me or so much as lift a finger to Stop it and then 8th grade came he […]
So I’ve been fighting with depression through high school and so on, due to relationship troubles (or the lack thereof). But after graduation and freshman year of college was where it nearly killed me. (Twice.)
Winter quarter, I met the love of my life. Everything about her was perfect, except for her abusive family. She would cry in my arms each night, telling me horror stories of her childhood and adulthood. Months passed, and we helped each other through the days. Around Valentine’s Day, she hadn’t spoken with me for three days, so being the idiot like I was, I thought nothing of it.
Until I got […]
So I am just done. Done with life, done with daily strife, just done. This morning I went out to my car, ready to start a fresh new day at work. I get there and start my car. Smoke starts pouring out of the front and back of the car and it won’t move. I end up having to call a tow truck to come get my car and calling out of work since I had no car to get into work with. And I had no PTO. So now I am worried about losing my job. I take my car […]
I’m still struggling. Suffering every single day, trying to get through this god damn life. Depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts suck.
I just can’t do anything about it.
I’m lost.
I’m hopeless.
I’m desperate for happiness.
And I’m suicidal.
“Pain Demands To Be Felt” – John Green
“I’ve come to learn this world is full of sin” Her Last Words by; Courtney Parker
If you guys are up to helping me, I’d very much appreciate that. Give me advice, on how I should deal with this. Anything will help.
hi all,
I stumbled across this site after numerous related searches…maybe it will feel “like home”. i’m turning 36 in 2 days and I never thought my life would be like this. I was always one of those positive people that said and believed things like “you determine your destiny” and “your life is what you make of it.” apparently, I’ve made a mess. it’s not that there is any one problem or even a list of problems. it’s that my whole life IS the problem. the simple fact that I exist and continue to exist is the problem. it’s beyond the point of “cheer up” […]
Fuck my life. I want to die. I feel so alone and empty. There is so much pain it is unbearable. All day I pretend to be fucking okay and I am not. I go to work and do everything but I am not okay. I smile and laugh and say, “Yes, I’m doing good,” when its all a bloody lie. There is no end to this pain. It is unrelenting, stalking me through every moment of every day, reaching out to suffocate me with its gnarly hands. I am a shell.
These thoughts in my head are horrible.
I’m so scared,it’s not even the fact im having suicidal thoughts,its the fact that nobody can hrlp me and that this time they’re scaring me.
They’re winning.
For the first time in a long time.
What do i do?i dont feel in control i just keep screaming and crying,i cant eat and im struggling to stand for long periods of time..
I dont want too go,not yet..but i might have too.
I hear voices in my head
I believe fairies dwell in flower beds
The night is a mystery and not my friend
For I see things at every corner and end
I cry for four days a week
Because of blame and sorrow my heart can’t keep
My dreams, like everyone else, have gone
Because they too are tired to go on
I don’t believe I belong
Life has been singing that to me like a song
I am a poet, but to everyone my poems appear
To be of sadness, yearn, insecurity, and fear
There’s a new voice in my head
That says I’d rather be better off as dead
But since I’m still present
And death may seem […]
There is a monster in my mind
He comes out when I’m alone
He tells me that happiness is a lie
And death’s a better home
He shows me all the hurt
I put my family through
Every mistake I made
He says “Its all on you”
He has never spoke a lie
He tells me how it is
He says that if I would die
I would no longer be his
The monster in my mind
Controls my every […]