For your poems.
Dear Sp,
You don’t know how much you’ve helped me
So thanks, because of you, I see, this life may have been meant to be
Ending this life is something I just mustn’t try to do
You’r helping my to improve
Because of you I see,
a hidden light within me
Thanks Suicide Project.
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
~ The Velveteen Rabbit, by Margery Williams
so this is the first time i have ever shared this poem, i wrote it today. its kinda suicidal.
goodbye?
its come to the day
where i cannot stay
do you care if i cry
do you even care if i die?
the date is set
but am i happy yet?
the time will come
for me to run
ditch the pain tears and suffering.
i have the plan i have it all her
now i cant stand to shed a tear,
i will be gone
and nothing shall go wrong.
im angry but sad
and its driving me […]
I am devastated while i read this blog. I just lost my brother last week. He was only 39 a great guy and a musician. I am 34… He took his life and I cannot find the answer to all my question. He was depressed. I helped him to go to therapy and he even was on medication. My pain is extreme … My feelings are mixed up.
He did told me in July he had tried before we even laugh about it. I used to listen to him and give him advice as a friend. I never judge him. I always told him he was […]
im think im going to end it tonight. i just want to find that reason to live. please help me. sholud i live or die?
I’m scared of  loosing you,
I’m scared that you will realise that I’m not interesting,
I’m scared you’ll realise that you don’t love me but that you love the other girl.
I’m scared that one day you’ll wake up and realise that I’m boring and plain,
I’m scared that you’ll want to go further,
I’m scared that if I tell you what I don’t want to, you’ll ask why,
I’m scared of you getting angry when I won’t tell you.
I’m scared of loosing you, because you are the only thing that keeps me sane,
Despite being scared off all these things,
I’m not scared of death and taking my own life because I […]
(From a dream. Sorry if the size of the post annoys. Just scroll on down.)
I was standing in a large grove of oak trees. It was sunny and warm. The wind was blowing faintly. The grass was bright green and lush. It seemed to be spring.
Through the trees a crowd of people emerged and walked toward where I was standing. The people were all smiling and laughing. They seemed to be in very good spirits.
Amongst them was a procession of young girls each wearing white dresses and adorned with a crown of wild flowers and each carrying a bouquet.
I was swept up into the crowd. […]
I’ve gotten to be very good at hiding what’s inside. Whenever somethings wrong or bothering me, I can usually hide it really well. I have several different masks though..
Home/Family Mask- When I’m home and just around my parents i usually just chill in my room and act tired (which i usually am when im upset). I curl up in my sweat pants and wrap up in blankets so they can’t see if I have hurt myself in anyway. But I havnt done that in a while. This mask is usually just hiding out and being tired.
Dance Mask- When i’m at dance, i just try to act goofy […]
so the last 3 years i have had an illness and its the most excrutinatining pain you could ever think of, my family dont care about me and i have no friends. im worthless and stupid and death is my only answer. i just wish at least one person will care but no one does. the posts my mum made when i was in a coma was her trying to get people to think she was a caring person but in reality shes not. i have been battling this by myself and i have never had any help what so ever. i give up. i […]
hi, well 2 days a go i woke up very disappointed, i woke up from a coma and now im alive and it sucks! i cant breathe on my own and i have liver and stomach problems. now i have so much pain its not funny. my mum is helping me write this cause i have trouble thinking and writing. i dont see how my attempt survived, i did so much to try and make this work but it failed! i drank a whole bottle of bleech and some other shit as well as takning at least 70 pills, how the hell didnt that fail! […]
I’m not afraid anymore. My soul has gone through the darkest place my twisted mind had made, I am not afraid.
In the depths of my despair, I learned something. Life just isn’t fair. I knew this before, but the prospect made my spirit soar. No matter what I do or say, the night won’t change to day.
My sight was clouded, but now I see. There’s a lighter place inside of me.
I have discovered peace with what I’ve chose to do. But I have to wonder, was I ever in charge?
The world seems so large, was I ever the decider of my […]
Constant change.
Layers of reality.
Illusions of truth.
Weighing life.
The sum of one.
A journey’s end.
Hoping for the best
Ready for the worst.
Death is easy
Life is hard.
Knowing’s painful
Ignorance is bliss.
How nice it would be,
to end naturally.
no pills, no razors, no rope.
When you just want to end,
as you’ve given up hope.
I don’t have the strength to do it myself,
but yet I have a good life and perfect health.
It seems I will have to keep living,
whether I want to or not.
Suicidal thoughts must be forgot.
All it takes is a car,
or a bus or a train.
To finish my life, to end all my pain.
Then no one could say that I was weak,
all they know is my life had reached its peak.
My family would be sad but […]
Why is the dark so much closer than the light.
Why is something we want, we have to fight.
Why is the sun so far away.
Why doesn’t, why doesn’t it stay?
Why is the pain always there.
Why are they happy, it’s never fair.
Why am i always so very sad.
Did i do something, something so bad?
Why is there always a sort of kind of blue.
Why is it nothing, nothing to do.
Why can’t i be ever so splendour.
I need to do something, i need to surrender.
Why is the path always so long.
Why can’t i sing such a happy song.
Why are they always so mean.
Something’s funny, I’m not very keen.
Why can’t […]
When lifetime slowly shed into eternity ..
When lifetime slowly shed into eternity ..
And the Moon will shine .. also when we no longer here ..
over our graves spilled with blood ..
Colors dance in the misty freezing shades,
when eternity awayts .. me ..
The eternity that I look towards .. endless
sorrow in my heart , but my soul died ..
.. died in the past ..
Mighty winds of last Octobers night bring
me through the snowy forest where may I
hear my soul whisper words from the agony
of my existence now forfeited by self hatred ..
Moon appeared behind the deadly […]
As I saunter somberly on this solitary course,
a scenario of yesterday unfurls.
A panoramic site of the distant past,
a sprang of aspiration turned oblivion.
Disclosing a nightmare,
I longed to dwindle.
How long shall i suffer this deadly plot?
a roulette between life and death.
A veneer of riviera,
yet a graveyard for the lost souls.
Damned by the gods,
a paragon am I?
Fazed by the criticisms?
am not!
Staring ahead at point blank,
wandering aimlessly hither and yon.
Hoping to find a world of my own,
a place… a home…
where I belong…
My heart is racing,
and my hands are shaking.
Wow that nightmare seemed real,
at least that’s how it made me feel.
I am awake,the fight is over.
The struggle begins.
My first thought of the day,
keep my mind occupied so I don’t think about suicide today.
It’s a lot harder than it sounds,
because I have a lot of skeletons running around.
Why did you do those horrible things,
one of the skeletons likes to sing.
It was my job,I like to say,
but he answers, that excuse is gay!
I know that he is right,
at that time I chose to fight.
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
Every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It’s always darkest before the dawn
And I’ve been a fool and I’ve been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I’m always dragging that horse around
All of these questions’ such a mournful sound
Tonight I’m gonna bury that horse in the ground
im done for good. bye everyone.
Please log in to report posts