For your poems.
I really can’t even find a reason to live anymore..
It seems my dream are braking into my reality
Sleep became my escape when life becomes to hard to bare
That my eyes glaze cold of death, blank stare
that inside is dead
There is no soul looking through the face , facing you
the life-mares makes the runing endless when your minds the enemy
Sometimes i wonder if it the world or just me,
Cause though i feel betrayed by socitey the people around me seem to surive much better then me.
It make’s me feel hopeless that no one feels they should die , and escape with the lost souls
The more i […]
It’s been three days. I have been much happier, new things have happened, but still I like the idea of everything looking gloomy and dead throughout our [The Suicide Project Pessimistic Humans] (if we can call ourselves human). Among us is people with the worst lives, the most fucked up minds (including myself and Rogue). We have many different mental/psychological/social and whatever things that they [family,friends,doctors,anyone] calls disorders. What it really is…. Is us…….
Rogue Shadow is the conscious in my head. The one that shows me the way to the light. He helps me and speaks to me. Though, I don’t hear him anymore. He […]
It’s been three days. I have been much happier, new things have happened, but still I like the idea of everything looking gloomy and dead throughout our [The Suicide Project Pessimistic Humans] (if we can call ourselves human). Among us is people with the worst lives, the most fucked up minds (including myself and Rogue). We have many different mental/psychological/social and whatever things that they [family,friends,doctors,anyone] calls disorders. What it really is…. Is us…….
Rogue Shadow is the conscious in my head. The one that shows me the way to the light. He helps me and speaks to me. Though, I don’t hear him anymore. He […]
It creeps out at night,
slowly unravels the tightly guarded hatred.
Wide-awake.
Replaying each scenario. A picture show of loathing.
These feet have made some wrong turns.
These hands have let go.
A burden of guilt has nestled in this rib cage.
Hidden. For no one.
Memories burn this face with shame. Awkward
silence.
Better off dead. They whisper. Someday.
By day- perfection.
Graceful. Elegant. False.
I lost my father, my best friend, May 12 2010 — life has and never will be the same. I’m surviving but it’s a struggle each and every day… I would have gladly taken on his pain. Even if you think no one cares, someone does. I don’t even know you…and I care, I love you for the simple fact that you are a human being as am I. There is hope, there is a brighter day… you just have to hold on. Sending positive vibes to all those who read this. However long the night, the dawn will break.
“Forces beyond our control can take […]
This is a poem I found online a while back… and I edited to fit. I am not sure of the author.
“A gun shot rang out in the afternoon hours of May 12, 2010… where there was no one to hear or at least, acknowledge.
But that bullet ended the day and began… the long sleep of my father, my best friend.
I tried to find a note, I tried to find the bullet, I looked and looked. I thought it was important to find something, anything… And then one day I realized that I had found the bullet, it was lodged in my heart.
This bullet can […]
Before my mom knew that I cut,
Since I was in the bathroom or my room for so long
She thought I was taking naked pictures of myself & some other stuff
She checked my phone and my faacebook
Believe it or not mom, but I don’t send naked pictures of myself
Not like you do
Gripping the blade
Press
Press against my skin
Glide
Glide & slicing
Pain runs throug my vains, emotionally, yet physically ok
Red crimson
Dotting
Dotting out from my self inflicted incision
A smile
A smile find its way to my face
Adrenaline
My pacing heart
One of the beat feeling in this sick world
To My Sweetheart,
I know sometimes we fight a lot. Sometimes, I don’t listen as well as I should. Sometimes, I wish I just knew what you were thinking so I could know how to fix things. But, more than anything, I need you to remember just how much I love you. I fell in love with you about nine months ago, and I never thought you would be mine. And when you did, I almost converted just to thank someone for giving me the greatest creation ever imaginable. You’re so amazing, and I want you to know that you can tell me anything in the […]
Began thinking of how much my relationship with my dad changed ever since he started beating me over little things a few months ago. I tried hugging him one morning extending my arms towards him. He got out of the way and walked off. I wanted to hug him goodbye when I left for school. Still teary eyed but not crying yet. Maybe I should try hyperventilating until I have a panic attack. That’s always fun.
Rogue was back one day and went away the next.
I downloaded 10 apps of depression check and 6billionsecrets.com and took the tests and posted crap. Nickname was suicidal16yearold […]
My mom bought me this legit strips to make my scars go away.
As crazy as it seems..
I don’t want them to go away.
The Winds that blow here
Blow straight through
And overwhelm
With anguish
Of pitiless longing
Infinite sadness
Of the universe
A wave that comes
And leaves you
Standing breathless
The Winds that blow here
Saturate the body and the mind
With inhumane feeling of longing
For some long-lost counterpart
The bushes tingle with vagueness
As the shadows merge with darkness
Dancing is the inner fire
Of the spirit of these areas
The Winds that blow here
Bring memories of antiquity
Of people never met
Of hands unseen before
The Winds that blow here
Force the heart long far away
And yet the same force
Makes me wish that I could […]
I don’t want to think of suicide. I truly don’t. Yet, my life is becoming unbearable to the point of which I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m helpless. I’m desperate. Any response would help me:
Over the last 4 and 1/2 years, I’ve switched high-school, gone to university. Along with this – that is, the changing of schools – my greatest hope would be to have, to make friends.
But it hasn’t happened.
I’ve prayed; I’ve practiced patience. But nothing has changed my situation.
I have no friends. I have no one to call on my cell phone (my contact list) is empty. I have no one […]
A poem to Jasmine. Fuck Nycolle, wait no I still am in love with you… (just let her go Nathan, she wasn’t meant for you…) no she and I must be together forever… T-T (stop, you’re better off without her.
My mom is taking my fucking money.
I am saving it for a fucking reason!!!
The burden of days
buy another simply to struggle through
weary hand wants to fold, weary back can not hold
wonders the point when there’s nothing new
Contempt for the ways
digging deeper & knowing it’s wrong
much too far from goal, farther still from the soul
is the horizon to come or already gone
The lament of the loss
thought the walls would deflect the hurt
but it all feels like hell in our out of the shell
even the rose ends up rot in the dirt
Resent for the mirror
failed until nothing else can be known
those aspiring demands turned to ash in my hands
I’m putting together a suicde playlist (songs about suicide and songs to commit suicide to). So far all I have is Goodbye (I’m Sorry) by Jamestown Story. Does anyone know any good ones?