For your poems.
I knew it would happen.
Why do I always get too fucking attatched?
I’m never gonna be good enough for anyone.
For your poems.
I knew it would happen.
Why do I always get too fucking attatched?
I’m never gonna be good enough for anyone.
Once upon a time there was a person who fell into a hole
Feeling unloved and alone they almost lost their soul
Recovery lead down a very long trail
Some friends couldn’t handle it and decided to bail
The clock ticked in process but eventually being able to heal
It was never to late many hands outstretched and they began to feel
Some encounters were rigorous and difficultÂ
In times like this it’s hard to remember it wasn’t your fault;
Don’t fret or worry sweet angel close your eyes and imagine that I’ll kiss your head
One day I will come to tuck you into that warm, soft and gentle bed
Being a lone wolf is […]
I slowly depart , as I lay in my room
another soul forgets me
who was she?
she was there?
I’ve lost all touch with humanity
love in no reality
People have actually stop responding to my words
they can’t hears my cries
if only they wouldn’t see me i would be gone …..
Where am I and where should I go
I asked someone but they didn’t know
I found my way to the pits of hell
And then deeper and deeper I fell
I have no way to be found
And that is why I’m on the ground
I left yawl in tears and now my life is lost
my heart gave up on love because love has a cost
I can’t find some place to stay
But when I get close a part of me pushes away
I have never done anything right
But I continue to still fight
I will never live with this lost life of mine
So I guess I will stay like this until […]
I open my eyes and all I can see is a blur.
Something is running down my face.
I feel lost and confused.
Why do I feel this way?
It comes and goes when it wants to.
Its like a plague that wont go away.
It has no reason to be here.
But it stays any ways.
I wish it would go and leave me alone.
For alone is best for me.
Did anyone see my post on a page called suicide. Where I wrote to go to suicideproject.com, did any of you choose to go to it, cuz it seems like there’s a couple new faces…
She turns on the water.
Making sure its cold.
Very cold.
Takes off her bra and underwear, slowly, but without hesitation,
She steps in the water,
Foot by foot,
Seeing her black toe nails under the water, looks beautiful to her,
Why?
No one will ever really know.
She sits down in the tub.
Her whole body in the freezing water.
Seeing her scars,
The wide, pink, teathered up scars on her thy.
She draws her attention away from the scars and slides her self down to be under the water.
She stays there,
Just stays, waitng to run out of breath.
She loves the feeling of running out of breath.
She comes back up.
Looks to her right,
And grabs her blade.
Her trusty […]
I sacrifice so much important shit for my “friends.”
So much fucking shit.
Guys, happieness, time, love, laughter, other things.. so many fucking important things.
I have no one.
No one.
I want to leave.
I WANT TO FUCKING LEAVE.
Seriously,
Please.
Just,
Let me be gone.
Been watching the most horrible videos ever recorded including pain Olympics. Why? Because I’m curious and mentally fucked up. I’ve seen a woman drowning while tied up, it happens for 5 suspenseful fucking minutes. Saw shootouts, a cop shit to death by what looks like a M1A1 Carbine, old World War II era weapon. There’s also the suicide of Ricardo Lopez and other shit. SP administrators, in case I have broken any rules of whom I haven’t read, well sorry just showing what a suicide looks like and imagine the look on your families faces when they see an eyeball strewn across the room along […]
listening
the sounds from those
tears over expectations
not met
though not abandoned
monotonous duties
so much to grieve
unappealing wasted time
all to be waiting again
the icy still muscle
of my heart longs
for the mundane task
that brings such dissatisfaction
the warm bodies who ignore
and never see what is
the days that slip by unfulfilled
with your deep breath
you sob your misery
and wish death upon your self
longing for when there will be no pain
no sadness to feel
or crush of loneliness
lifeless in my grave
without dream
I cannot grieve your sorrow
your dejection
over things not yet lost
take my death upon you
feel what […]
What is it to be alive?
Is it just breathing?
Is it walking?
Is it eating?
How am I suppose to feel?
Am I suppose to feel happy?
Am I suppose to feel sad?
Am I suppose to feel lonly?
When am I suppose to do things?
While Im half asleep?
While Im sad?
While Im in pain?
Where am I suppose to be?
In my house?
In the ocean?
In a store?
Who has the answers?
Does God?
Do familys?
do friends?
I’m so afraid to get too attached.
Today I woke up drained.
Drained of energy.
Drained of life.
Drained of happyness.
Drained what a total drag.
Today Im dragging everything.
Dragging my heart.
Dragging my soul.
Dragging my emotions.
Dragging my thoughts.
Today I feel alone.
Alone in my mind.
Alone in my heart.
Alone in this room.
Alone everywhere.
Blah.
I think of you everyday.
I think of you, I think of you and I try to measure how much it hurts to not be able to talk to you. It has been too long that it has become hard to remember the feeling of being your friend. And when I do catch that feeling, I can feel a sense of peace, then it leaves me just as soon as I begin to remember. I have sunken and drifted too apart from you, and it was only when you abandoned me that I realized that I couldn’t get myself to be carefree and deeply happy, no matter […]
Just the first few paragraphs, it takes a lot of energy to write.
This is a story, not of pride, ambition, or even power, although all of life seems to be about the struggle of power, no, this is a story of the small things, the things not noticed.
It is only in the cracks of society that one can find true humanity, most likely due to the fact that society is a mask to cover humanity, and that is why this story takes place in a city, for where else has society overtaken humanity.
Picture the scene, it is a church, but not the church you’re grandparents […]
Your heart beats louder, your lungs feel weighted out of stress. Your confused cause your thinking of nothing as if something should be there. You want something to appear regardless of your own desire, to focus on it and acknowledge it. Leaving everything else as a background. You convince yourself its there while in full conviction it decides whether or not it can stay. You separate your self to lighten the stress and your heart finds balance again, and you seem to have found it’s been nothing all along but yourself.
I’m here again.. I’m high again.. Lookin in the mirror. Lookin her in the eyes. She gets to hide. Behind those beautiful doors; closed. So silver; they shine. I turn away to see the dark; truth. I always find my way back. To see her again. Wishing I was in her shoes. And she was in mine.
This is why I love to get high. Finding my reflection in mirrors. Windows. She gets to hide for the ugly world. And I get to hide behind a fake smile. And live for the both of us.
Shut up. You’re a fuck up. You fucked up. Gonna go get high. Never gonna be satisfied. Be happy with what you have. Don’t shut your eyes. Not for a minute. It’ll disappear. *poof* its gone now. No longer here. You lost everything you love. You fucked up. There’s no escape. Can’t change your fate. Stuck in your ways. You don’t want to hide. Behind fake smiles and lies. But you can’t help it. Couldn’t change your mind. Even if you tried. Now matter how it fucks shit up. You do it over. A thousand times.
(about myself.)
So I wasn’t going to post on here again until I finally decided to do the deed but I wrote this short poem, and wanted to share…
I long to forget my fears and close my weary eyes
To fade away and leave my pains behind
I long to speak to you in words I just cannot articulate
To show that this is what I most desire
I long to cut my worldly ties and say my sad goodbyes
To choose the time of my own release
I long to end this life unlived and take that final leap
To say I love you but sorry I must leave
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