For your poems.
I’m planning on commiting suicide
Overdosing or slitting my wrist
I really couldn’t be more excited
Well that is, if I suceed this time, or even do it
I just want to end
Category:
Poetry & Art
my depression, like the scar on my forehead. It is stuck with me. It will never go away. Except my depression comes and goes as it pleases, makes eme sad and angry occasionally and normal and content other days. Never truly happy though, but I’m better than my major depression a few months ago. I’ve choked so much, my past is new to me. Reality and dreams are hard to comprehend and I can’t figure which is which. Music from Matisyahu reminds me of Nycolle. My brain is completely set on the idea that I have no reason to live. My morals and values are […]
I can’t get him out of my head.
This guy, I met him in my youth group.
& he is actually my age.
I have his number, buy his phone had been disconnected for the longest time.
And, he moved.
But as much as I try to get him out of my head, it just doesn’t work.
Its tearing be apart.
When I talked to him, I felt..
Balanced, normal, he made me feel, there.
I need him.
But, I have no way to talk to him.
Great.
I hear the heartbeat in my ears and neck. I haven’t choked in a while. Its hard to breathe (but I could be just thinking I am). I’m watching World’s Greatest Dad about a guy who has a hard time with his son. His son calls everything a fag as in gay or bad. His son is really into auto-erotic asphyxiation and he got caught doing it. The sad part, the dad sees him dead because he choked for 2 long. He decides to make it look like a suicide, with a not and him hanging from his closet. Probably to hide the shame that […]
Sometimes, well a lot actually.
I find myself imagining I was killing people.
Slowly, painfully, full of blood.
Stabbing..
It makes me feel, crazy.
Not insane, crazy.
But, I really don’t mind.. Any of it.
Ok. Everyday My brain travels towards death. Idk what is about me. Maybe I’m not getting enough sex? I just write poems, songs, I sing, I play my guitar and harmonica. Yet I usually end up still feeling like shit. Sometimes I think heavy substance and numbness is my only way out of hell. This world is hell. I wake up hopeful of success but in the back of mind and in my home, I’m a failure. Feeling to is very familiar. I wish for suicide but I’m a lover not a killer. Life is just so bittersweet! I love life and it’s beauty and […]
I.
Idle fingers wormed into my aunt’s harem, fondling
bashful bottles, creams, blisterpacks. Sharps of
insulin and statins-flova,pita, prava, for gluttony
and wrath, indulgence for indulgence. Substituted
lust, better than sex. Pride in finding God’s loop
-hole, pharmacornucopia, spilling candies white
to kill greed and fool envy. Greyscale for the mind.
My new family, surname Pam. Daddy Diaze Pam,
my sisters Clonny, Lorry, and old poxy grandpapa
Chlordiazepoxiede. Drip, drip, burn,
bitter backflow. Novice, diazepam has 100%
oral bioavailability. New Years night, weightless
and opiate warm, I fixed grim odds online
How I know I’m fucked
Cigarettes:
Bottom of my food pyramid
Family History:
Swiss cheese kidneys and crusty coronary arteries all around
Ethnicity:
our worst enemies
Diet/Exercise:
Newports, cows, rice(death)/Varsity Mathlete
Blood Pressure:
Paranoid extrapolation=200 mmHG by age […]
Hello everyone. I’m not depressed, nor have I ever been, and I won’t even begin to pretend that I understand how you must be feeling. I’ve been lurking this site for a while, but I thought that perhaps I might recommend some music to you all as a means of coping. I know that it’s not going to fix anything, but the following albums are incredibly immersive, and if any of you happens to be able to fall into one of them for any amount of time then I believe that this post was successful.
Nick Drake – Five Leaves Left/Pink Moon
The Antlers – Hospice
I was playing video games and my cousin comes by telling me that if I wanted to go to the mall. I not wanting to just stay home every day I went with him and his gf n baby. He’s 2 years older. The best part was after we came home and played video games. He said,” Hey, Nathan, wanna blaze it again?” I of course said yeah. We got an apple and smoked about 4 bowls before I got really high. I love it cuz it makes me talk a lot more but I can’t think straight. Hard to focus, no coordination. Stupidity caused […]
So I think I want to start writing poetry. Seems kinda gay though. But I think it will help me express how I’ve been feeling. I really have no clue how write it so if u kno how please comment.. But yeah, the feeling toward putten off have gotten kinda worse. It don’t matter though I guess,right! Ha. Ohwell. We all have to die sometime, just sometimes suicide is the best way…. Please comment if u have any tips on writing poetry.
My fingers tremble, knowing you’re planning on suicide.
My thoughts race, hoping there is something that I could say to change your mind.
My heart aches, though, we didn’t know each other.. It doesn’t matter, I care for you.
Everyone loves you on this site, and you making this choice shreds our hearts to pieces.
But not specifically knowing when you’re planning on going, is driving me mad, or the more.
I wish we could change your mind.
I wish you would stay.
I wish this wasn’t your choice.
I wish you can be ok.
Though it’s a wish, one that only you can make come true.
So, with all my love, and with all […]
My craving for suicide has never been this strong.
I’m afraid I might lose this time.
Or should I say win?
If it’s wrong to love you then so let it be
I can’t deny the fact that you complete me
I haven’t been on the website for a while.
I haven’t done anything for a while.
I’m getting worse.
I hope everyone out there is getting better.
But just to fill you in on what had happened in my life,
Stopped cutting for 3 months, started again, pretty bad cutting too, got caught again.. Lucky me right?, but now.. I’m not eating.. I’m diagnosed with severe depression, & just weird things have been happening, hallucinatiouns, sensing stuff.. Just weird things..
But yeah, thats whats been happening.
I was always that little girl smiling everyday. I was a ballerina, you know. You would look at me and think I was always so happy. Wearing pink, giggling with my friends, dreaming of my future. I wanted to live in a mansion, with maids and butlers, and four children. I wanted to be a chef, a teacher, and a singer. Then I turned twelve. That’s when everything went downhill. I still remember the night of March so clearly. You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before your eyes? I’m telling you now, that whoever started that saying, is correct. […]
Was I bewitched so by the thin red line
To notice not that time released its hold
And let pale Iris snip the silver twine
To steal sweet youth before it turned to gold?
Existence now is not what I was told;
No seraphim and harps to grace my ear,
Just silence, painful silence, and the cold
Discomfort of my masochistic fear,
So icy cold, yet somehow seems to sear
My soul until the ache’s too much to bare,
As mortal life mirages now appear:
Intangible are they; away they tear.
Mistake, it was; the curtain fell too soon
When razor’s edge did charm me […]
I have a Little drinking problem. I just wanted to write a quick poem to get things off my chest.
Just a poem i made about a love that broke my heart…
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I am free,
That’s all that really needs to be said.
But if I am free; then why is it I still feel so empty?
Why do I still feel so dead….?
I thought I’d feel different somehow,
But I don’t; I feel more alone than ever.
What to do now,
So many possiblilties and secret endeavours.
Is solitude really all what it’s cracked up to be?
I remember it being more freeing.
Look at me,
What happened to me, what happened to this being?
I’ve changed so much,
I can’t even look at myself in the mirror.
I became everyone’s personal crutch,
And my image couldn’t get any less clearer.
I do not like what I see,
My solitude became my […]
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With each profound breath I take, I know that there is no way I can make it last.
 With each mistake I make,
 I know there is no way I can change the past.
  You take the breath right out of me,
 Making my skin a darker shade of blue.
 You left a hole where my heart should be,
 I will be the death of you.
  Feeling my life slip away,
 Taking a deep breath and feeling it rush out of me.
 With each passing day,
 I await the day I can start over completely.
  I know I can find the fire in your eyes,
 Knowing it’s hidden somewhere deep within.
 If only I can dodge all your lies,
 And […]