Rants

5

so goddamn tired and can’t sleep it away

  April 15th, 2018 by Lutefisk

all i do now is bs my homework for grueling AP classes i barely care about or fall behind and get chewed out by my parents who i hate to disappoint, but i’m a disappointment anyway i guess lmao what else is new right

my family and friends might love me but i’m starting not to care anymore because i just hate myself so much and become so jealous of their flourishing lives that i’m pretty sure if i were to show how i really feel to other people i’d truly be the burden i believe myself to be deep down

i’m just surviving day by day …

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6 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

7

the only one who cares

  April 15th, 2018 by iamdarling

well, unfortunately, not a single soul truly cares about me. i need to understand that. that the only one who cares about me, is me.

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6 months ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

5

Reality is boring ! Real life is boring ! Real world is boring ! Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress !

  April 14th, 2018 by niki

Reality is boring, Humanity/Mankind must move beyond money & politics for real progress.

Although technology have been progressing rapidly nowadays, yet sadly in many aspects, Humanity/Mankind/Society still have slow progress; Everyday is still the same day & problems over and over again repeatedly.

I believe that in order to make a real progress for Humanity / Mankind, we must quickly focus & do the followings:

1) We must move beyond money & politics. It is outdated. A lot of problems in this world today basically stems from these two root causes (& also superstitions especially in religion, as well as in Ignorance & Stupidity due to failure in …

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6 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, I Will Survive, My Suicide Note, Poetry & Art, Rants, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

0

friday the 13th

  April 13th, 2018 by iamdarling

hey. today is friday the 13th. but, it doesn’t make much of a difference, since all days of life for me hold a significant amount of bad luck and misfortune.

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6 months ago • Fun & Interesting, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

2

The Fear of The Nonexistent

  April 12th, 2018 by Diver

Anxiety is fucking awful, you probably all know that. It’s constantly consuming me and forcing me to stress over every tiny thing, but I’m not motivated enough to actually act on any of these fears. “Worrying about work due in the next day that you haven’t done yet? Never mind, it’ll only make you more miserable.” I can’t go on like this- it’s killing me.

Every second, every minute, every day, my guts twist and ache inside me, even when there isn’t anything wrong. There’s an endless, nagging terror of:

“If things seem to be going well, then something’s got to go wrong soon.”

And so I wait, …

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6 months ago • General, Rants

2

Just a Little Background, I Guess

  April 12th, 2018 by Wixx

I’ve never posted here before, or ever really posted anything about my feelings publicly before. I never learned to properly express my emotions, either. I think that has led to me having a lot of things bottled up inside me. My childhood wasn’t great, so I have a lot of feelings built up about that. I ended up having to act like an adult before I got the chance to really have a childhood. I think that’s really taken a toll on me. I may end up posting here more. It can never hurt to try another way of coping.

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6 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

2

Fuck this world.

  April 11th, 2018 by Killemall

So I didn’t learn shit growing up and I only have a misd. B in theft and marijuana. Two charges. Ive had then since 2012. I cant get a decent job. Look up GENESIS – Land of Confusion. This is also why. Keep the poor poor and the rich rich. There’s laws allowing the rich to do whatever and we are penalized for our crimes. This world is so corrupt, and theres no hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. No hope. No.Hope. Every job works me too hard while the coworkers are lazy. I just got married, yay, right? No. …

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6 months ago • General, Rants

9

Getting it off my chest

  April 9th, 2018 by Brother Blue

Hey everyone.

I just want to start off by saying how glad I am this website exists. I’ve only been here for a couple of days, but reading through the comments some of you have left on other people’s posts, you all seem pretty decent.

Which is why I am posting this here. Because I hate bottling this up, and you all know what it’s like. So…

I’ve always had suicidal thoughts floating around in my head going way back to when I was about 16.They were never more than idle ideas, never more than me just wondering about it. I was never seriously depressed or anything. These …

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6 months ago • General, Rants

5

Can you diagnose me?

  April 8th, 2018 by ariusversea

I had some training to help people dealing with suicidal thoughts. Which is ironic considering I’m here right now, about to tell you more about how I never feel enough and how I’m just angry and sad and frustrated and I just want something or someone or anything anything really to help me but I don’t need help because I SHOULD BE FINE. I should be. I must have some mental illness or something because other people only seem to need parents and friends to free them from their dark tunnels. How it is that mine hasn’t ended yet? How is it that I haven’t …

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7 months ago • General, Rants

5

Hey everyone

  April 8th, 2018 by VenusHope

How each and everyone of you must feel now would  probably be unfathomable to anyone else since what may seem minor to some may be insurmountable to others. I won’t act like I can properly empathise with any of you much less extent a solid helping hand to you but if you can hear me out you have my heart-felt thanks.

Over my duration here on this website I’ve seen a plethora of problems ranging from academics to family to societal issues. If I could i would really want to help each and every one of you because you guys (Mostly anyways) are often the kindest …

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7 months ago • General, Rants

1

Decay

  April 6th, 2018 by gothinabox

My life is going fine, but my mental state is deteriorating.

I feel myself getting more and more paranoid. I keep getting weirder and more horrific intrusive thoughts. Some of them I can’t even say. Some of them are ones that make me do odd things, like, “If you don’t wash your hands for exactly 20 seconds you will kill everyone in the world.”

My depression and anxiety are getting worse. I’m relapsing constantly in self harm. I want to cut deeper but I always end up pussying out of it, out of fear of receiving more pain than I want to give myself.

I feel like I’m …

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7 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General, Rants

1

******

  April 5th, 2018 by fifth

my girlfriend broke up with me.

she says she is scared to hurt me.
afraid I will get too close
but she said she couldn’t be in a relationship right now

her parents are making her pay for rent.
she is 16
I am hurting for her

I can see her childhood going
she is getting a second job to pay rent to her family
they are not poor

she is assembling documents and researching emancipation

I cant do anything

I can see her falling apart

she is seeing this guy.
they have a

thing

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7 months ago • Coping Skills, General, Rants, Stories of Loss

0

Update

  April 3rd, 2018 by Eccedentesiastsoul

It’s been a while since I’ve last been on here. As a matter of fact, it has been a while since I’ve confronted myself about what is going on around me. For the most part, I blame it on school. I have loads of work to do and having to balance it while also dealing with my parent’s bullshit takes up all my time. I guess part of the reason I have not been putting anything on here is also because I fear someone finding out that this account belongs to me. Anyways, things have been all over the place. I have relapsed twice last …

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7 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, Fun & Interesting, General, I Will Survive, Rants, Stories of Hope, Stories of Loss, Suicidal Survivors

1

Why am I suffering so much?

  April 2nd, 2018 by lostsoul21817

Why can’t this pain stop ? Why do have to always go through drama,fake ppl and bullshit.I fuckin hate this world and would have died if not for my family.Everything was fine until 17yrs of age.From the time I started higher studies,life started goin downhill.

Sometimes Wish I’ve never been born at all.Fuck this place im livin in right nw.There is little hope once I finish uni,but its so hard to go thru it all.I still hav abt 3yrs left.I feel like I dont belong here,the ppl ovr here suck and are bullies.Fkin hate the hell im livin in rn

If there’s someone calld God, I …

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7 months ago • General, Rants

4

Too tired to fight, yet too scared to run

  April 2nd, 2018 by tonytakitani

I was looking for a way to take my own life when I first came across this site and this project. In reading the stories here and knowing that I was not the only one who was suffering, I found some measure of solace. It took me a while to come to the conclusion that I, too, should share the story of how I ended up here. However, because I am not at all a good writer (as a non-native user, writing in English actually makes me anxious), I find writing down my life story a difficult and agonizing task. Day after day, I opened …

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7 months ago • General, Rants, Stories of Loss

4

First post! // Calm vent.

  April 1st, 2018 by shioko

I have never seriously talked to anyone about my depression before and I’ve always kept this part of me a secret due to the mental health stigma in my family.

Both of my parents see stuff like “depression” or “anxiety” as weaknesses rather than an actual mental illness.

Because of this, I felt as if it’s shameful to feel this particular way. My parents also looked down upon me whenever I’d cry, especially as a young child.

Rather than comforting me, they always got upset for seeing me be sad or stressed. Just a week ago, my dad yelled at me for being frustrated over filling …

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7 months ago • Rants

1

how the hell

  March 31st, 2018 by iamdarling

how the hell is it already april?

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7 months ago • General, Rants

1

They ask

  March 31st, 2018 by Rosesareblue

They asked me.

“Why do you cut yourself?”

They asked me.

“Why are there scars in your body?”

They asked me.

“Are you crazy?”

They told me.

“Attention seeker at its finest.”

And i sighed. Breathed heavily and walked away.

Whats the good in telling them what my demons tell me what to do, it’s better to keep my insanity to myself.

Because it’s better keeping everything inside rather than telling the world who doesn’t know how to listen.

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7 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art, Rants, Suicidal Survivors

4

The only one you can trust is yourself

  March 31st, 2018 by Rosesareblue

I’ve never believed this before.

So naive of me.

Naive enough to settle around with the idea that people are to be trusted and to be humbled the fact that they will always keep you sane.

Never believed in such saying until friends turn to enemies and laugh turns to frowns and until then when my heart has been shuttered by the awful truth that friends can be a sharp tool towards the breaking of your own sound mind.

And so when i felt my world crushing down, I came to the standing ground of believing that the only one you can trust is yourself.

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7 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art, Rants

1

Desperation.

  March 30th, 2018 by Octr

It’s fun isn’t it? To be consumed with frustration due to an immense feeling of “desperation”

Desperate to get out of a depression cycle,

Desperate to make friends,

Desperate to find love,

Desperate to become a better artist,

Desperation to be and do better,

Tired, exhausted, desperate.

A vicious cycle of undoing my seams in a desperate plight to reach a better place.

 

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7 months ago • Rants

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