Rants

5

been hatin’ life since day 1

  May 12th, 2018 by hateanon

I hate my life. I’m a minor and that means I obviously have to live with my parents. I’m a girl and have 3 disgusting brothers. The only thing I have for myself is my brains which I got from my mother. She’s mean sometimes but she’s the only one I actually truly love in this nightmare of a household. My dad and I had a fight about 2-3 months ago and he hasn’t talked to me since. He’s a fucking stupid middle aged man and an ego the size of a fucking blue whale. I hate him so much, his standards for me are …

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7 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

6

I’m dying

  May 11th, 2018 by why949

Every thing hurts and I just want to cut. I’m sorry. I feel like everything is just falling apart and I want to tell my mom I have depression but I’m afraid to. I really need a hug and I’m 98% sure no one would miss me and school is getting worse and worse. I stole some pills from my medicine cabinet and I don’t know if I want to take them or not. I’ve been drinking isopropyl alcohol in hopes I’ll get sick enough to go to the hospital and not have to go to school again. I wish I was dying. But doesn’t …

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7 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General, Rants

0

Should I just stop?

  May 8th, 2018 by Nevermind_

My life is such a mess right now. I don’t think it has ever been wors than this.

I have never really had any friends and I’ve always been the middle kid who didn’t got any attention, but it had never botherd me as much before. I was fine with just being on my own. I mean i would have liked to have friends but I was okay with it. But I’m almost 20 and I still have no one. I feel so Fucking lonely and I feel this dark hole in side of me which I can’t seem to fill. When I was younger and …

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7 months ago • Rants

33

Im gonna end it all

  May 8th, 2018 by lostsoul21817

Im so sick and fucking tired of trying to get through the day.People jus get on my nerves and give me hard times in one way or the other.Im so tired of self motivatin me constantly evryday to keep me frm commiting suicide.But I jus cant take it anymore..Life is harsh and hard.College fkin sucks ….

I will probably end my life next month after I meet up with my family and school friends.Ive been feelin suicidal for the past 8 months or so and i dont really see the point of living.And im feelin too bad bcoz I was really happy and satisfied with my …

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7 months ago • My Suicide Note, Rants

2

How Can You Even Say That?

  May 7th, 2018 by Koda

You are my SISTER. You should be understanding.

Instead, you tell me that nothing is wrong with me?

And I am forced to bring up a professional diagnosis and an attempted suicide to end this argument?

How can you say that?

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7 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

2

help

  May 6th, 2018 by Unsheard

I’ve been drinking, i’ve been getting high. and all this time i wonder if i did the right thing. sure shes happier and has moved on but i havent. but it doesnt really matter what i want because she is more important even though i hate myself for loving her. who cares anyway ill just tie my noose and jump off my roof. life is messed up and it isnt worth it. im so done with all this shit.

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7 months ago • General, My Suicide Note, Rants, Stories of Loss

1

Can’t See Any Further

  May 2nd, 2018 by alt-tonic

hi. I’ve posted here before. I think over a year ago I believe. I ranted about losing a scholarship and disappointing my family while a divorce was still going on. And then I was diagnosed with GAD and felt like I was going crazy over stress. I got quite a few updated.

I did lose that scholarship. I’m relying on loans and Financial Aid (lucky for now). I switched to a major I’m more happy with (let’s say I made huge jumps in majors because of pressure from my dad who i no longer see anymore). My parents are still going through a divorce, although my …

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7 months ago • Rants

3

Hidden One

  April 29th, 2018 by mo992

I smile often when I’m in public. A strong clear smile.

I laugh loudly as well. So loud you could hear from a hundred miles.

With this I attempt to conceal. To present a false sense to the ones I love.

The people who’s opinions I do wish to preserve.

I try to conceal, not only for me, but also for them.

I do not want to cause them much suffering by knowing me.

I do not want my illness to spread like a plague to them and the heavens.

So I conceal, I hide, I smile, I laugh, I dance, I distract, I please, I HIDE.

Am I the only hidden one?

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7 months ago • Family & Friends Effects, General, Poetry & Art, Rants

1

And I’ll go to work, and I’ll go to sleep, and all of the littler things…

  April 28th, 2018 by Triste Foi

A year ago I was convinced I was getting better, that I would never be back to write my pain… It lasted quite a while, enough to trick me into genuinely believing it. The sad truth is that I won’t be able to have the hope I thought I had. Perhaps without a really good year I would have been better off, I would have never envisioned a future with happiness for myself – and now that makes it harder for me to feel this way.
I wish I hadn’t failed last year I wish I was dead I feel so incurably sad …

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7 months ago • General, Rants, Suicidal Survivors

10

the nothingness

  April 28th, 2018 by wasd

hi,

i’m 37, lives with my mother. i’m addicted to buprenorphin (substitute for heroin) and crack.

i work half time in a office as an IT. when i get back from work all i do is watch movies and tv shows on my pc.

i stay up all night. i want out already. i cant cry. i cant get myself to open up and talk about my dreary existence. ppl loves me for some reason, i try to be nice and i know i am attentive and sensitive to others. its so weird, its like the opposite of how i treat myself.

its not like wanting to die, its …

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7 months ago • Rants

3

He Doesn’t Know Me, And I Love Him

  April 27th, 2018 by Koda

Before him, I was empty. I was alone, devoid of light. Every day getting harder and harder to breath. I was sinking in an ocean of darkness…sadness.

Then I seen him. Its like my heart was stumbling over its feet as it was racing around in my chest. I winced at this unfamiliar feeling. My ears cried with joy as his warm, silvery voice flowed through me. His eyes grabbed me by the collar and pulled me to the surface. I could breathe again. But it hurt.

When he looks at me, its like my soul gets torn to pieces. I yearn for more.

He hurts me. Why …

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8 months ago • Chronic Pain, General, Rants

2

How do I do this without hurting people?

  April 26th, 2018 by Heh

I can’t stand the thought of my mother, or family walking through my bedroom door and seeing me there lifeless with blood pouring from my body. I know there’s other ways… but no matter what they’ll find out… that it was me who did it. I don’t want my mother to ask the what if’s. She will always blame herself. Other lives and feelings are worth more than mine… so if I have to carry on wanting to kill myself every second just so everyone else is happy, I will. But it’s so, so hard to do and I can’t fucking do this alone anymore. …

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8 months ago • Chronic Pain, Family & Friends Effects, General, Rants

1

i’m tired of everything

  April 26th, 2018 by Depressed_Teenage_Life

im tired of breathing, im tired of hearing my name in the halls, im tired of not being good enough, im tired of being picked on…. but most of all im tired of living……

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8 months ago • General, Rants

1

antidepressants

  April 24th, 2018 by abyssus

I wonder whether I should retake my antidepressants because I know deep inside of me I don’t want to be a part of this world anymore. I feel like if i retake them again they will kinda give me false hopes and acte like a robot. Sorry for my broken english i’m not an english native speaker.

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8 months ago • Chronic Pain, Coping Skills, General, Rants

2

H A P P Y

  April 23rd, 2018 by Insomnia disaster

H A P P Y
happy
H A P P
Y aren’t I
H A P P
Y don’t I want to go outside?
Sunshine used to make me
H A P P
Y does it now sting my creaking mind?
H A P P
Y is my room such a mess if I can’t even get out of bed where I spin dreams of HAHAHA happiness, a heavy heaving chest
I’m so incredibly un
H A P P
Y now I can’t even smile?
Now at least not on the inside
How can my brain spell so well but my body can’t make a smile out of the letters
H A P P
Y am I avoiding …

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8 months ago • General, Poetry & Art, Rants

1

I think?

  April 23rd, 2018 by Nathan

If it’s a surprise I’m gay… wow right? Sometimes I think I can find love but I know I’m never gonna get it, my mind plays tricks on me saying “He likes you” but then just have my heart ripped out and broken into pieces. Turned into dust, having dreams where I’m happy and everything is right but it can’t be like that can it? So why do I care he’ll never like a disgusting broken boy, yet I still want to try. Whenever he wanted to ask me to go somewhere with him, see him at the park, or even when he acted like a …

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8 months ago • Poetry & Art, Rants

4

Giving Up – For The Umpteenth Time

  April 19th, 2018 by Koda

After living with myself for years upon years, I figured out how much I can handle. I surpassed that limit long ago.

I started to succumb to the agonizing effects of depression and suicidal thoughts. I don’t try to fight it when it pushes itself into my mind, infiltrating my thoughts. It makes me lash out. I have become less than a person. I ruined a friendship with someone I have known for more than seven years. I fell out of touch with everyone else. But that’s good, right? I don’t have to worry as much when I pass on. Not that I will anyways. Worry. …

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8 months ago • General, Rants

2

Mental illness

  April 18th, 2018 by Bre24

Mental illness sucks. You can have everything you’ve ever wanted and still be so unsatisfied. I would never wish depression or anything else on my greatest enemy. It really fucks you up when you can never be truly happy with anything in your life.

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8 months ago • General, Rants

1

Never Thought

  April 18th, 2018 by Bre24

I never thought I would be where I am now. On medications to stabilize my mood, in therapy, and not wanting to experience life. I’m in a relationship I’ve always wanted, and yet so unsatisfied because I consantly worry about him leaving me suddenly even though he does nothing to make me think that way. I thought with the help I’d be doing better but I hardly leave my bed and its so hard for me to do anything. Most days I’ve considered myself to just be giving up in school considering I can’t focus long enough to get anything done ever. I’m almost a …

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8 months ago • General, Rants

2

It seems I’m going to do this.

  April 16th, 2018 by shatterediris

I’m eyeing this blade that I pulled out of a pencil sharpener…. It sucks, I hate it and it sucks, it just doesn’t do enough for me. I tossed pretty much everything else I have into the trash a long time ago and never really bought anything back, my xacto blade broke so badly and is so dull that it can’t even do anything anymore, it’s just a dull piece of metal so all I have is this little blade from a pencil sharpener, hey at least my xacto served me one last time by unscrewing the scree on that pencil sharpener that the screwdriver …

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8 months ago • Coping Skills, Rants

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