I never understood when it comes to being selfish? Yes I understand when someone is greedy and and don’t share anything. But when someone is sad, depressed and suicidal; everyone says you are selfish even though it isn’t our fault. So it makes no sense that people say that we are selfish, but we are not to blame. And it’s our own body, if we have no debts to pay and don’t have anything that has to be paid for, we should have the right to do what we want with our body.
Rants
If I’m alone, I’ve done it to myself. Nobody likes a loser
I can see the reasoning behind keeping a site like this….well….discrete, I guess. But, you know, I’ve wanted, on a couple of occasions, to sign in and TALK to people (when I’ve been NEAR FUCKING KILLING MYSELF!!), but I can’t figure out how to fucking LOG IN so I can COMMUNICATE!!! WTF?!!!
There’s no LOG IN details when you visit this site! You may be DESPERATE – and you may well be RIGHT ON THE FUCKING EDGE AND DESPERATE TO TALK TO LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE, but……how the fuck do you GET IN!????????
I managed to log on ONLY because I inadvertantly clicked on somebody’s POST! Is that how […]
A few days back er 13th April to be exact, a friend of mine just awkwardly confessed that he had feelings for me. I had was honest and told him I liked him too but am not willing for a relationship. So we keep what we had which was great. A friendship where I’m not judged for anything I say or do. Somehow we just click. It’s painful to see him hate himself and hurt himself but he has pulled me out of the self harming phase I’ve been in for years. We’ve both been having a really crappy few days. I’ve been crying myself […]
I read other stories here for a while and decided to post my own here because I’m through with this shit. If you’re easily triggered then leave now because I’m not holding back because I’ve been through both fucked up and weird shit. Fair warning: I might ramble at times.
I’ve had a shit life for quite a while now and I’m officially done with it. I’ve been through a shit school system and graduated, dealt with my dumbass parents until my dad fell off a roof during a job (good riddance. Bastard left us in a financial mess) and my mom died in 2010. I […]
First post.
Two things.
1) I’m starting to enjoy classical music.
That can’t be good , only faggots and serial killers enjoy classical.
2) I kinda feel like killing a lot of people/dying.
Mostly out of habit http://north-node.tumblr.com/post/83509296777/north-node-in-libra
I’m… working on it.
Anyways. Enough about me.
Watch this if you’re a whiny ***** and you have solvable problems https://youtu.be/3oE_sjqklLQ
Good luck out there.
My girlfriend of almost three years just left me with no explanation, Im just looking over pictures of us together and i cant stand it. I had just gone with my friend to get an engagement ring just five months ago. i made the last payment on it just last week. I was going to ask her to marry me at our favorite cafe, it was where we first met. i had stopped her from suicide after she had lost her father and now im honestly the one whos trying. since that night we had made more memories in a few years than i had made […]
I cannot stop the thoughts and images bombarding my brain day in day out. How can I stop this madness!?
You used your words, I used my heart. I became unheard, you became a dart. I reached out, you pushed away. I started to doubt but I was forced to stay.
Growing a flower, supposed to be a blessing. but you had the power. And I was left stressing..
Far from family , no one but you,
Loss of gravity, my hatred grew.
You where supposed to be my happy ending, but this chapter was just beginning.
My flower blossomed, she is so beautiful, I became cautioned, you grew so pitiful. Yelling and abusing, but with no bruising. I tried to flee, your family didn’t […]
I can’t escape the situation I’m in where I’m stuck with some shit up relatives who I can’t cope with. Sick of hearing their bossy-shit-who-thinks-they’re-perfect voices. I can’t keep bottling everything up inside me. I think I may just snap and kill them unconsciously. But my suicidal tendencies are stronger. Only thing stopping me from doing it is the lack of how to. I could just stab myself or just jump from our not so high rooftop but a part of me keeps telling that if I survive that shit I’ll be even in deeper shit. Tried to find a suicide group so that I […]
They ask me tell them everything and now I’m crazy. I tell them about my sadness. I tell them about my self loathing. I tell them about my secret desires to be dead. I tell them about this black pit I’m in.
They tell me I’m crazy
I don’t know what is wrong with me. I have a friend who listens and understands. But I don’t know what is wrong with me. I can go from being perfectly fine to being absolutely not fine in the blink of an eye. I dont know why. I can’t control it. I feel guilty for this. Even though I have a friend who listens I do not always want to share as I am scared of becoming a burden. What is wrong with me and how can I be normal?????
I feel the need to write here, because i’m back. back in this place I foolishly thought I could escape. I thought I could stop myself from drowning in my own head, but I can’t. I guess you could say this drop back into the abyss started with the first time I ever felt like this, but that’s another story for another time.
I feel this deep sorrow within myself, it always comes back. I find myself staring out the window at dawn, the soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the ground, the roof, and the trees. I find myself looking at the sky, which has a […]
i think its funny that people use suicide as a joke
when its the cause of so many peoples deaths
i find it funny that nobody fucking cares until youre already dead.
“she was beautiful” why didnt you tell her that before she was gone?
“she was so nice” then why did she never get a second glance from you?
” she deserved better” then why werent you the one to give her better? what, it wasnt your place? you didnt know? maybe you wouldve if youd given her that second glance.
im so tired of people pretending like the dead mattered to them when […]
Believe it or not my very first post here was in 2012. Lost, depressed and thinking of suicide i was told then ‘it gets better’, and to ‘just tough it out’.
Well almost 5 years later no longer a child, i have a degree, i fought so hard to stay here and to achieve something worth while… Why do i still feel like a failure?
I once was told the comparison of the ‘big black dog’ and depression, and how once it finds you it will never leave you. Its been over 5 years and the most i could manage was to forget about the dog […]
You know what sucks? How doing positive things is actually part of the cycle that will kill me! I don’t just mean in terms of it being part of my futile struggle against the forces of entropy and death. I mean in terms of how I work really hard on things I should, and no one will notice! So the cycle might just stop there.
Better still is how no one thinks I’m going to get better. It’s like the best anyone can hope for is that I won’t manage to kill myself this year. The funny part is that they are right, it will […]
The future isn’t some far off thing . Its right fucking now! And I could be waiting for things to get better and hoping for a better future for days, years, or months. Its a bunch of bullshit and everyone dies it doesn’t matter when you die as long as you do. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in control of your death but also I get to die when I WANT to die. Because its MY life not my moms or my sisters or my grandparents or my friends life its MINE! and the only reason people want suicidal people to stay […]
I hate the holidays I’m like the next Scrooge no matter the holiday I always feel blue. Families gather and go hunting for eggs while I am alone sitting here in my bed. The hate that I build around this time of year is such an indescribable undesirable fear. I can’t stand the holidays I’m miserable you see. Because when this time comes around the only one here is me.