its been a while since I’ve posted on SP mainly because I’ve been pretty happy lately. About 2 months ago I had a big fight with my mom and I told her to shove it and that I would rather live in my car than live with her so that’s what I did. Yeah I had the balls to do it so I did I slept in my car for 2 weeks and I was extremely bored but happier than I was at home and then I told my ex girlfriend and her parents took me in because they always liked me only one was […]
Category:
Stories of Hope
That’s how it goes. I’m not looking for sympathy or empathy or anything really, just felt like finally posting something after being registered for such a long while and not doing anything with it.
My stories the same as most, severe depression since I was young, when my mom got injured at work and I basically lost her, at least in my mind how it felt. She was a single mom so with no one else there to help us, it was up to me to take care of everything. That wasn’t so bad really, I liked the responsibility.
Fast forward a few years, I’m 12 or […]
So here I am again. Alive and healthy, better than actually, my physic is great. Maybe that’s irony? Does that make me a coward? A fake? How long have I wanted to die after all?
I wanna say it’s harder when you see the people it would hurt, and you know they’ve gone though a lot of the same pain you have, and you wouldn’t hesitate to die to spare them just a little more. Maybe that’s what it means to have a reason to live? But since when do I care about other people? I’m the asshole. That’s how it works. I don’t build […]
I feel less suicidal, being nothing.
I am not a student, not an employee, not a daughter, not part of society. Not glum, not unattractive, not any other adjective.
I feel better when I am not obliged to fake emotions. I dont mind being alone anymore. Can I just float through the days, just for awhile?
Can I stop identifying myself as my experiences? Can I stop feeling ashamed for having not accomplished anything? Can I stop identifying as a human, and just wander through Time as nothing, just for a little while?
Last year I was so lost, depressed and broken that I decided it was my time to leave this world. I wrote my letter, cleaned my room, grabbed the rope, jumped out my window and ran. I went into a forrest, began to tie the rope around the tree and then around my neck. In front of me was a massive empty, dark field. Behind me was a giant fence with houses behind it. I saw flash lights in the corner of the field in front of me so decided I needed to jump right away but then I heard a bang from above me. […]
Last night after work, I washed dishes AND I made supper for me and my boyfriend.
Many of you guys understand with depression it’s hard to get yourself to do anything. It’s hard to become motivated or even get out of bed. And it’s really been bad for me lately. I usually put all my energy and motivation into going to work, and even then I miss a day every other week. So it’s hard to come home from work and do anything that needs done. I usually just want to go to bed when I get home.
I know I haven’t accomplished much, but for me […]
For those of you who don’t know me – Hi, I’m dawg. As I do from time to time I pop in and out of the SP world – for no particular reason other than I try to keep up with the many many great people who I’ve met with here in the SP world … again, for those of you who don’t know me, I’m old … much older than most who participate here – I point this out because I have a hard time remembering all the names, so I’m not going to list the multitude of names I’ve met here – but […]
Dreams better than reality? Why Dream is better than reality? Why is Dreams better than reality?
by niki
written by niki
Why Dreams is better than reality?
Why is Dream better than reality?
Why is dreams better than reality? Why dream is better than reality?
What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality / human’s fantasy is better than reality.
for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi / sci fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, MMORPG , Interstellar , The Matrix , Avengers , X-Men , etc etc, they are much more interesting, full […]
I’m alive again, so damned alive I’m crying. It’s so funny how I laughed when I felt my worst, and now I’m crying. When she’s talking to me again. She doesn’t hate me. She’s okay with talking to me. I can fix everything I ever did. I’m not alone anymore. This is incoherent, and maybe it should be. I’m high on life and happiness right now, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank God for Sammi, without her I never could have done this. Thank You, Hazy. Thank You, Rocketman. Thank You, Trix. Thank You, SeeSmith. Thank you all for being […]
It has been a while since I last posted on Suicide Project. I know no one really cares about my posts and that is fine. I understand. Now the thing is I am doing really, really well since I was last on.
When I was last on I had just told my parents that my grandfather had molested me and that I am bisexual. I was highly depressed and I was having panic attacks and I was failing in school, not to mention I was feeling like I had no one to talk to. That was way back in I think March. I got through the […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Protected: Matlabi…. :-) :-) :-) Ho Ja Zara Matlabi… :-) :-) :-)
by daitya1989
written by daitya1989
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I have made a decision, one that I hope I won’t be hated for because ill be doing that already. I’m going to give my daughter up for adoption, I’m going to be homeless soon, I still can’t get government assistance much less housing (it’s very hard to come by) and the cold weather is getting worse. My daughter can’t live like this anymore, my job as a cashier barely does anything for us I wish I could work full time but it’s only me who takes care of my baby. Her father loves her but is a deadbeat. He says he’s focusing more on […]
I had an account on here before, which I started a few months back. A little over a month ago, I had an extremely bad breakdown that lead me to attempt suicide (I had been thinking of it for awhile but many little things pushed me to it). I posted on here to say goodbye to everyone and apologize for wasting their time in reading my posts and trying to help me. I didn’t see any way in my life recovering, since the stack of shit just kept getting bigger and masked the few good things I had left. I was obviously unsuccessful in my […]
Hi, i’ve never really posted on anywhere like this before but i don’t really know what else to do.
I’ve contemplated suicide so many times throughout my life and recently everyone feels like it’s finally coming to a climax, as if ive already accepted that i’m going to die soon, and i want to go out on my own terms.
I’ve been struggling with multiple health issues which make everyday life horrendous, i’m constantly spaced out and in pain almost every waking minute, it’s too much to take.
I’m also incredibly lonely, not even my family speaks to me unless it’s to start an argument or take out […]
I use my Instagram account for posting all my poems, quotes, and writings. And so in my post today, I asked whether I should publish the book I’m working on, then this account who had the same theme commented for me to do it and she just started to compliment all my works and I thanked her. Then, she asked me if I wanted to be her internet friend, and I couldn’t be more ecstatic, I’ve finally gained something out of a loss. We just started to share things about ourselves till’ we wrote each other poems about meeting each other. Then she asked me […]
Ok, so suicidal thoughts linger. Will they ever totally dissipate? Perhaps or perhaps not. I don’t really know. If I had to say, I would lean towards they will lighten but never just go away. Once you learn know or relaize something, it’s not like you can just purposely unknow or unrealize it. The partial truth behind ingnore is bliss. So with acceptance of the fact I may never be able to fully revert from suicidal thoughts and desires leads me to the question of what can I do to cope with them? My mind running on the topic of ways to kill myself and […]
If life is typified by the apple, then at its core festers a great rot that eats it from within. A rot that has been ignored far too long.
I will create a world that is filled with kind people, even if it means I have to be the only monster left.
I do not care whether you are man or woman. I do not care what the colour of your skin is. I do not care what your beliefs are. The instant you step on the life of another, the moment you take advantage of another human being, much less bring them to the brink of […]
I’m still getting through my depression. It’s almost a daily battle here at college, but I’m surviving somehow. I heard this music one day with my therapist, and I couldn’t stop crying.
This song has kept me through some of the hard days. I play it when I fall asleep. I wake up better.
I call this day one because this is the first day I haven’t cried in a really long time. I’ve come to believe the fact that Jordan will not come back to me. That who ever wrote the quote, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it was always yours. And if it doesn’t, it never was; never dated a stubborn, prideful, Army Ranger.
I can admit I fucked up. I completely screwed up our dreams of marriage, happiness and children. I can say, I never cheated, never thought about it and never wanted anything more in my life than […]