I was just thinking.
I came across this site and started reading some of these posts, and realised I’m not the only one who feels alone. ‘Im so scared of doing something stupid.
I’m writing a post on here because this is the only way i can get my thoughts out without the constant judgement. Today my mum woke me up so i could go shopping with her. I got all dressed up, I wanted to feel nice and i did. In the car on the way there i put my headphones in, and just looked at all the cars going past. Wishing i was […]
Keep Fighting
Two words, thousand meanings, lots of inspirations. It were the words I wrote on my left wrist on the first of march, Self Injury Awareness Day. With a butterfly, as meaning of The Butterfly Project. It’s really amazing what two words can do with a person…. They just help me get through that day.
right ill explane thers a amercn who has just come to are school for gcses FOT resons unkonwn to me and beeing a all boy school evrey time shes arownd evrey one acts like thave never see girl befor but as this grue old that startid to bulley her and this must hve gon to far because today she was in the boy lav crying her eyes out and cuting so i lock the door and put my mate out side to stop people coming in
“fuck off”
“love im not going to do aney thing to you nor am i going aney were till you tell me whats up” i […]
I enjoy reading the conversations and posts people put up. This is one big community. Even though we’re “depressed” and “suicidal” we’re still able to make a nice family. Even though something else brought us together, we’re still intertwined.
I planned to kill myself, but then I found this website. I know no one is interested in my story, but I would like to learn about other people here. If I’m able to help one person in this lifetime I will be able to die happy.
Wow.
I’m reading some of my posts from last year. I can’t believe how much things have changed.
I’ve become more independent and I think I like it… maybe it’s just that I’ve gotten quieter.
I don’t feel as lonely anymore.
And I think I found a new hobby: writing. But I haven’t done it in awhile…
I’m not quite sure where my future will take me, but all I can say is that I hope it’s full of new adventures and meeting new people.
I do know that I want to change things for anyone who are depressed, suicidal, for people who have developed eating disorders or those who self-harm.
Psychology […]
so i woke up in derford host… whate ill go back a bit so after i toke the pills and realisd that thay did shit and up chukt hafe i tryd to go to sleep but cos it was E’s i coudnt so i being the clever littel git i am i stade up and whent to school wher in the midel of a fight with a techer i go out like a light
……………………………..
the wold was a verey big place at that time in my life i dreemd of things and people all mregd together in a bler of light and sownd i tort of people from here […]
I began to write a diary today. It had everything in it. And, um, Garrett read it. He took it from me. I didn’t just let it go willingly. I fought until the end. I was about to cry, but then he was so sweet. He looked up at me, kinda smiled, and then he asked me if Mr. Harvey could read it. (Mr. Harvey is the teacher that I had that period) He said, “It’s really good. You should let him read it.” I almost cried again because of how sweet he was. But he’s moving… Why? He read everything. He freaking knows how I […]
Hey there my sweet angel
I see you there, all alone,broken.
I know you are hurting inside.
I see why you cry.
Just know that I love you so
And I don’t wanna see you go.
I see you drowning,
Drowing in your tears,
I know your runnin
Tryin to escape your fears.
Andthere’s a fire deep inside of you
so don’t give up yet im begging you.
At the end of this tunnnel there may or may not be light.
But its a gamble that’s worth the risk.
Youdon’t have to cry anymore tonight.
you don’t have to carve your pain into your wrists.
Tonights the night you want to give in.
I know youre drowning in your tears.
But you can’t […]
My story isn’t much,its not as deep as people who have been abused or raped once or many more times though I have experienced some things very similar,I know its tough and scary.
Unlike many I still have my family. They don’t hurt me physically but sometimes mentally/emotionally. Always being angry at the small things I do. Complaining at everything I do and also costantly repeating what one says is too overwhelming when I’m stuck with it for all of my life so far. Not for too long but 4 more years or even longer seems way too much.
I’ve wanted to die since I was […]
It all started in my Freshman year. I was in my Ancient History class and these guys would whisper “*****” as i walked by. Throughout my first semester i was called lesbian, fat, ugly, whore, and *****. I would go home and think how everyone would be better off without me there.
December 8,2012 my world crashed down around me. My grandfather Skip who stepped in and took care of my grandma and my mom and her sisters  for 17 years passed away from cancer. He […]
It’s true. I love Trevor. Ya know, when I was little, and I watched TV shows, I always saw the girls freaking out over the guys. They would always say, “I love the way he says my name…”. I thought they were crazy. But then I found something out. They’re not. I had an after school rehearsal today. I sat by Trevor. He said my name every time he talked to me. And I love the way he says it. Oh my gosh, he said, “Courtney, he’s talking about measure blah blah blah,” and I said, ” I think it’s measure blah blah blah”. A […]
A wallflower is a person going unnoticed. I’m a wallflower because I simply want to go unnoticed. I just watched “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” I recommend everyone on this website to watch it because it is inspirational and true. It tells a timeless story and describes me in so many ways. I love it so much, I have to say I’m obsessed. I don’t have much to rant about other than me wanting to die but that’s just the usual. I can’t sit still and type to day so it’s just whatever at the moment. I will probably come back on later.
This is a rut that I can’t find my way out of I really don’t look forward to the future and memories of my past are tainted with my way of thinking I look back at times in the sixth grade and think why didn’t I take the time to love myself  instead of ignoring the feelings and telling myself  why can’t I take taunting from other kids because it’s truth because it’s the truth and now I hate myself  and I have so much anger and I don’t know how many times I’ve wished I could go back in time and change things I […]
Everyone deserves a second chance right? You’re wrong. I have never gotten a second chance or even a first chance. So why does it even matter? It doesn’t. Does it? I’m just not cut out for this world. I’m really not. I… don’t belong. No one really understands me, but no one knows my story as well as me though. I need to find my place in this world. I feel like i have to be somewhere else. I have no clue why I even post on this website no one really reads my boring trash. I’m a stranger in this world trying, searching, breathing. Just looking […]
Right now it’s around two in the morning and I have just woken up after sleeping since five in the afternoon, I’ve had a lot of anxiety since returning to school since we’re preparing for testing coming up next week but right now I’m applying to a performing arts school program that I dropped out of last year when I was a freshman the applications are due today and I’m writing the letter of interest right now I may not get in but I want to try at least.
I decided that I like Trevor. But then, last night, I had a dream. A dream that Dawson was in. Dawson is one of my best friends. He’s also a guy. And I think I like him… But I don’t know. It’d be a little bit weird because he’s shorter than I am… And yet he’s older than me…. And every time I think about it, I feel like I would be dating my brother if I dated him. Okay, so I’m going to make a complete list of the guys that I like or have ever liked this year. (Prepare for a lot. I […]
I’m not ugly, I’m not pretty. I’m just me. Depressed, lonely, boring me. I have a story, my story, to tell. I don’t believe in other people committing suicide, but i feel I should. I have so many reasons against me. I have had help, asked for it, it was given but nothing works. I’m still me here waiting, watching, wanting to die, but something keeps me from actually doing it. I want to so badly I cry because I cant even do that. Some days I eat everything, some days I don’t eat at all. I fail at school and suck at life. A ll I really want it to be […]
It’s after midnight and I just made myself a promise.
I promise to treat myself well. I promise to forgive myself and love myself and hold myself together when all I want to do is fall apart. I promise to support myself and believe in myself and remind myself that I can honestly do anything, provided I am prepared to work for it. I promise to convince myself that I am strong and that I am brave and that even though I make big mistakes, even though I sometimes fall down and end up at the beginning again, I will be okay and that I […]
I’m scared about seeing him again. I know that I sound like a freaky obsessed chick, but I’m not. I’m just an.. overly shy chick that ends up acting like an idiot around her crush. I want to enter the talent show, though. I want to do something to stand out. But I don’t know what to sing. I kinda wanna sing a cute, but cheesy song about having a major crush. Oh my God. I’m acting like a normal girl. Wtf?? When did this happen? Oh well. It’s nice to be happy. Ya know, I kinda want to sing If You Don’t Mind by […]