Is anybody here curious about death?   I mean like wonder what its really going to be like when we die?   I admit that I am.

Now when I say that I am not saying I am currenty suicidal.   Im not.  But I often wonder about death.   We  have all heard about Heaven and Hell and there are other theories about what life is like after death.   I studied NDE (Near death Experiences) and have heard people talk about how they died and wound up in a bad place and felt tormented and Ive heard others say they died and came back to life and when […]

i write this to you as the only means of getting in touch with you. i would like you to know that i saw your posts, and that your words, caring and concern for a depressed, lonley, old man, touched me deeply. yes, it was my plan, and i was determined to carry it out. as is usually the case, the universe stepped in with a bunch of annoying distractions that prevented the follow through. i did end up in the cold for about two hours. i went to our towns christmas parade with my ex-wife. it was difficult because of my social anxiety,but pushed […]

OK so its been a few days now since me and “Jess” have broken up. We still talk which is a little unusual it has been made clear to me by her that we are not getting “back together”. Me and her broke up on a Thursday she couldn’t even explain it properly which was a bit up setting but she text me as I was “trying” to delete the pictures I have of us together on my phone and it said ” Ryan can we meet up so I can explain myself  x” so I text back saying “Fine” I was worried but it […]

I don’t feel much anymore. It’s like I’m floating just below the water, aware that my lungs are burning, but I’m unconcerned. I see so much and nothing at all. I see that I am likely to end up alone. I see that I cannot have children. I see that I am about to graduate college with a useless degree and a fuck load of debt. I see fires and wars and disaster and hatred and guns and knives and cars accidents and pain in the world. I see that I should do something. There I begin to see nothing. There is nothing to do. You […]

Hey there. So, I’m back again on this website, for the third time. Three major bouts of suicidal thoughts and depression. But that’s besides the point. Earlier this year, I began my freshman year of high school, and with it, the best years of my life, as I have been told so many times. Unfortunately, that promise is not living up to expectations. I was placed into a college preparation program by my middle school teachers, though I decided not to sign up for it last year because I didn’t want to have too much on my plate. Additionally, at the start of the year, […]

no one knows what’s in my mind. no one even knows the real version of the story. everyday, I’m still thinking about the night that killed me. i’m dead but still bleeding? isn’t that strange?  everyday, i live in the hell of being stuck with that fucked up mind in a world that i don’t even want to live in. i’mstanding close to the edge wishing someone could finally push me. i’m afraid. still, i don’t want help. i just want to be free…

Picture this: Someone has just started contemplating suicide, and they came up with a foolproof way out of this world. As they were getting lost in their own head, imagining their peaceful death, someone they love dearly pops into the picture, and all of a sudden they start shouting their name, crying out for help, but it’s too late. Their death is inevitable, leaving that loved one with nothing else to do but watch them fade away and cry. The person snaps back to reality and starts questioning everything, leading them to live another day… and another… and another…

Wherever our built-in survival instincts are stored in our […]

Do you ever read a post on here and wonder if it’s from someone you know in your everyday life?  The idea is weirdly comforting to me.

I am a 21 year old girl and people always like to hang out with me cause of my looks. When I tell people I’m depressed they don’t believe me cause they think I’m pretty and can have everything in the world I want. I am depressed since I was 13. I have always been nice towards everyone in my life and somehow people made use of it.

I don’t feel like I have anything or anyone to live for and don’t find anything to do I really like.

I go to University and am doing my Bachelor in IT but it gets harder and harder everyday […]

I’m not technically suicidal. I just wish I were dead. The relief. Or someone else who is normal. I am bipolar and I cannot be genuine in relationships. I cannot date. I keep myself to myself on my personal time. My best friends are all those I had as a young child. I was always funny (what fucked up person isn’t the funniest?) At work I am the funny hard worker. You’ll never see me bring depression or sadness into the workplace. No one would have a clue I’m drowning in my own ego. My friends don’t know anything. One actually complimented me just last […]

I’m so sad, I don’t know what to think of anymore. All i can feel is just this emotion eating at me. Bringing myself down even further, telling myself that i’m a nobody, i’m no good, why do people even bother with a selfish greedy person such as myself. Why don’t I just make myself worse since I deserve it. I have the urge to slice again, at this moment it’s hard to restrain myself from touching a blade again when I crave for it the most…I don’t deserve anything good. I’m no one.

I was at UBC Universal Behavioral Center I was there for 6 months that I tried to kill myself 3 times nothing worked I tried cutting my wrist vertically and horizontally and tying things around my neck that didn’t work because people found me.I still have suicidal thoughts I’m not acting on it because I don’t want to get in trouble and I want to be trusted .I have had two girlfriends the first one I dated for a few days I broke up with because she wanted to date more than one person my second lasted more than a week she claimed to be […]

im just depressed, depressed all the time, i cant feel happy since like 2 years, i forgot what happiness feels like, all i can feel is pain, all the fucking time, and i hate it, i really do, if i die nobody’s gonna hurt me, so i guess, with the new year ill be dead, i need to die, i have to, i dont wanna feel pain, i hate it, i really do! i dont know how i will suicide, maybe i will jump from the roof, maybe ill take pills (even though i tool pills 2 times trying to suicide but obviously that didn’t […]

I’m going through a really bad spell, as it was just my birthday and (as I suspected I might) and I spent it alone with a Cup O’ Noodles.
I told my *best friend* that even though I didn’t feel much like going to a casino (which she said SHE was up for, knowing that a casino wouldn’t be the best place for me right now, I suspect) I would love to see her and visit.
She never bothered writing back.
She is a terrible friend.
My most major effort toward a career that I’ve never spoken of on here because it was too real […]

All I ended up knowing was the bad in life I just sat around waiting for it to happen over and over again. Never loved myself or cared to live my life, which is a very precious gift that I have taken for granted. I never went out looking for new opportunities or experiences and I never answered the door when it came knocking. I realized that not all people are selfish that they aren’t all liars, cheaters, that they don’t all want to hurt me. I was in a really bad relationship and when it ended it was for good and it changed everything. […]

7 Natural Tips for Getting Over Depression

http://www.infowars.com/7-natural-tips-for-getting-over-depression/

Self-Help and Coping Tips to Overcome Depression

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/dealing-with-depression.htm

Fifteen Simple Ways To Overcome Depression And Sadness

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/fifteen-simple-ways-overcome-depression-and-sadness.html

My life has no meaning. I am triggered, PTSD. He said it, but it is not his fault. It is me, something inside of me. I can’t even remember what we were talking about. But the last thing I remember is he said, “I’ve done that. That industry [the industry I have worked in] is nothing special. It’s old technology. Everybody knows it. It’s not like you’re splitting an atom or something.”

My knowledge is nothing. My experience is nothing. I am nothing. My life has no meaning. That is the progression. There is no logical reason for me to live. I can’t make a meaningful […]

You just don’t fit? Like everything has just come together wrong and you somehow stopped being right in your own life (if you ever even were) and there’s just no place for you? Like maybe you just came off the assembly line broken? I’m feeling that way tonight (or actually this morning because I’ve spent five hours sitting here contemplating this). Wrong choices, wrong people, wrong planet maybe. I feel like I just don’t fit anywhere, like I never have been “right”, something was wrong from the get-go. It’s been a long time since I have been this low, since I have sat back and […]

on facebook,brand new, please check it out please

To all of you who complained about the picture on my previous post.

IT IS NOT ATTENTION SEEKING.

It’s a way of showing people in what kind of trouble you’re really in. I wanted people to see that these are not just small cuts ob the wrist. These are literally wholes all over my body.

And let me clear some things for the people saying the picture is downloaded…

The pictures of self harm you find on the Internet are all real. Thise were all posted by people who do those things to themselves. So even if you did download a picture from the internet, you […]