Hello, I am 15. I am suicidal, I guess. I don’t want to die, but I know I should. I feel the need deep within me. Basicly, I’m gonna spare the details. I am a liar. A big one. I lie about everything. Whether it be how I’m feeling, or what I’m doing, or my life as a whole. These fantasys I create, make me seem interesting. They make me feel like my life isn’t just a drop in the ocean. Ie: I have made up a story about how I used to drink alot, and sleep around. Which is only parcially true. I’ve had […]
The leaves are blowing past my window; each of them a tiny leap of faith off the tree to their golden death below. A beautiful suicide…
Unlike me.
I made the leap off the tree. I tried my best to fall to the ground, graceful and sweet… But I got scared. I turned around and held on again.
A life spent living for death, but too afraid to die.
I wonder if I’ll ever be able to fall to the ground or if I’ll just rot away on the limb…
Hi, i don’t really know why i am writing this, or what i hope will come of this. I just don’t have anyone i can talk to right now and i feel like i have to write this down before i completely lose myself. English is not my native tongue, so i apologize in advance for any mistakes.
I am 30 years old. For half my life i have dealt with depression. 12 years ago i have slit my wrists in an attempt to commit suicide. I only failed, because my mother found me in the bathtub, covered in blood, bleeding to death. I will never […]
In april this year, I attempted suicide.
I was broke living on the streets for about 2 months in the philippines at the age of 36. Got burnt by friends and lied to by others and was left to fend for myself.
I then found refuge in a slum but having to rely on people that would spend less than 2 dollars in one day the guilt and burden was all too much.
The fact that I suffer from depression and couldnt but any medication played its part too. So many attempts to call home and ask for help fell on deaf ears. The sad […]
Generally my feelings of wanting to be dead are not linked to any kind of self-loathing at all, that’s how it was for years at least. Basically I just didn’t want to be here anymore. Once I turned 20 that changed though.
I was forced to drop out of college. One of the classes I was taking was self-paced (no problem) but the book answers were wrong when it came to test time. I pointed this out to the teacher who argued “you’re doing the lessons too fast it should take you two weeks to do a chapter.” to which I retorted “I took self paced […]
Maybe, my lady
I am requiem, of
Why such ironic fate, Seedbug
I come from, not of cloud of Tidus
Where can I traverse, to Albataar
Celibacy and a hockey-mask, Morlock
Eternal to the, dude I need to the
To the gold, to the gold, to the gold, heart
To the gold liquid and to the celeste green
The leap of faith of, La Montagne
La Cathedral De Marie Pour L’Enfant De La Mort
The year of it’s did not falter
…
I’m 24. I’m an avoidant personality. I used to have a vague hope that things might get better some day, yet struggled not knowing exactly who or what I was.I had no idea how, but I thought I could work on myself. I could change. I could become the kind of person able to truly and intimately love and be loved. It wasn’t until a friend, a girl, who, in retrospect, I’d idealized and on whom I’d had an unhealthy fixation, gave me the avoidant diagnosis as her own that my lot in life became clear. More accurately, it took a year for me to realize what […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Breathe-me-sia-from-YouTube-by-Offliberty.mp3
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/The-Mountain-Goats-Up-The-Wolves-from-YouTube-by-Offliberty.mp3
What am i supposed to do with these horrible thoughts swirling around in my mind ?
It makes me feel like im going insane. No one gets me or understands my feelings.
I used to cut myself and since ive stopped i cant seem to shake the urging want , and
need to relapse. Ive tried to tell my parents but they just kinda blew it off. Everyday i think
about killing myself in MANY different ways but something is keeping from doing it. The little
fucking voices in my head are yelling at me and saying just do it , just kill yourself there’s […]
So I honestly believe I probably won’t graduate high school this year. I’ve always had a hard time with school. I just believe even if I manage to pull it off I don’t have a future. There are other reasons why I want to off myself, but this is one of the biggest reasons. I lack motivation, I always have, and I probably always will.
This is my first time using a site like this, i have always felt weak if i tried getting help, i have had depression for 7 years. I have been able to control my bad thoughts most of this time with distraction methods, this only works so much of the time, when I’m at my lowest nothing can distract me from the pain i feel, i struggle to put in to words what it is that makes me feel this way.
The main cause i suppose is my life being an absolute mess, everything i do goes wrong, every time i try and make my life […]
most sucessful suicides happen on monday, in spring
I need to go die
I am scared of everything and my only comfort is the comfort of idealizing suicide and yearning to cut and burn myself. I am afraid of an obligation I must fulfill tomorrow and I want to cut up my body so bad. If I cut I know it will be instant relief… BUT then I have to keep cutting. It’s a sick addiction – and I ain’t no spring chicken, I am a practiced and experienced cutter of 18years. I promised myself last month on my 31st birthday that my 30’s would be free of that kind of coping mechanism. My therapist is going to […]
So, I told my doctor that the voices are getting worse, and he told me to tell my psychiatrist. And I did.
What a load of bull.
She refers to the as ‘thoughts’ and ignores them. I’m sorry, but I know the difference between thoughts and voices. These are voices. And she doesn’t even do anything about them.
My mum told her I was crying to her about them, yet she still did nothing about them.
She doesn’t ‘think they’re a worry’.
I can’t even go a day in school without them being there.
I disrupt classes by yelling at them, skip classes because of them, and have had multiple days off.
My therapist forced […]
I am all empty inside. I have no friends. I don’t go to school anymore… the things I enjoyed in the past now look dead to me. I tried to end my life while I was on medical treatment for severe deppresion, and I was on a therapist treatment. For a funny coincidence, I ate bad pizza before I took 4 or 5 complete boxes of random medicine I found at home. My stomach was exploding, my heart went all crazy, and at 3:00 am when I thought I was going to die from a heart attack or something, I threw up because of the pizza. Fainted, […]
Sitting here in a bed gilded with death, I cant help but acknowledge that
75% of all the people in the world have already lived there best day,
have already felt the very best that they are ever going to feel, and have already made the best of whatever
there was to make of it all, and i’m one of those people. This dosent sit well, its a hard thing
to digest, knowing this relevant thing about yourself,
about your life, and still sucking air.
the cresendo of life leaves us whispering, as it will, every fucking time
So i make heavy toil of not […]
truth can only be self evident
so truth can never be impartial
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Matchbox-Twenty-20-Busted-HQ-w-Lyrics-from-YouTube.mp3
when you keep this at the forfront of your mind at all times,
you can cope with being abandoned……….this is a possibility,
an obtainable thought process…….that i havent quite walked up to yet
this is sour, just a deep well of emotion
i dont like thinking about it
every time i come here it suprises me still
how much it has taken
how much it still takes
i dont know if it was the passive way in which she gave up on me,
or how easily she did it that bothers […]
Life is hard.
Nobody is looking out for your best interests.
Everyone wants to see you fail.
They want you to kill yourself.
They want you to be at your absolute worst.
The closer they have to be to you, the more malicious the intent.
Good Luck.
Without it you will fail.