The sun will rise,
The sun will set.
But every day,
My love you’l get.
I feel you my babe,
For me you were you made.
And I for you,
You know that too.
We bond as one soul,
You make me whole.
I just went on her tumblr page and i saw she got a tattoo of a flower and im pretty sure its a sunflower… is that to remind her of me? I mean that is who i am… If it is then thats fucked up because she dosent talk to me anymore but I do hope that I mean that mmuch to her that it is… but who am i kidding it probs isnt; its most likely just a flower and i’m no where on her mind. I dont know how I went from having such close friends to basically ZERO! I would love to […]
I’ve attended church my whole life. My entire family, including extended family, is Christian. I was always the strange one. I was obsessed with dark things, such as demons, ghosts, and horror movies. I was also extremely sexual as a kid. I’m not proud of it at all. If anything, I hate myself for it. I don’t know why I was like that either. The only reason I’ve ever been able to think of is the vague memory I have of being in some bathroom with someone telling me I couldn’t tell anyone. But anyways, I’ve just never been fully devoted to God. Lately, those […]
I’m unable to continue this miserable excuse for an existance. No one will wish I hadn’t and I have no will to live. I’m more than slightly sure that I do not deserve to piece myself through this meager existance. Goodnight everyone… See you in Hell….
Im so isolated. Everything i do is meaningless. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe there in lays the beauty.
Long one:
I have a big family, but my dad’s never been around so it’s always just been me and mum. Therefore, apart from my grandfather she has always been the one that I confide in. Bare in mind I am not the type of person that feels comfortable confiding in others and I tend to keep it all bottled up, occasionally taking things out on a sheet of A4 with black ink.
Whenever I do tell her things, I always make her promise not to tell anybody at least twice before I let it go because I know she’ll just spill it all to the […]
I’m deeply sorry to those I have hurt. I hope that someday you’ll forgive me.
It’s been four and a half years daddy. I miss you. I pretend that I don’t care, and that I’m over it. But I’m not, not even a little. I wish you had never felt the need to do what you did. I wish you were still here. I wish you knew that I love you.
I wanna end this life and The Golden Gate Bridge is my only solution. I would try other suicide methods, but heights are on the borderline, im not scared of heights. Why can’t I do it?
I thought I could do it kill myself, but every time I try I am unable to seal the deal. I think I’m unable to kill myself, thinking of dying brings me some measure of peace but I don’t have it in me to end it despite having no hope or no future to look forward to. I don’t know why I can’t end it. I got involved in something so insane that it’s right out of a B movie plot. I got targeted by hackers then I made enemies of a whole community of people on a site called Zero Hedge. Now they are […]
as a female I am constantly the objective in anything that is sexual. when I try to take a stand for ourselves we are crazy, whores, ect… you can use your imagination. well my bf and I recently got into this argument, why is it ok for him to watch porn n not me? long story short it seems to me there are double standards anyone else who can explain this?
My hands were tingling.
My back was cold.
My shoulders felt weak.
My legs felt like sand as i whimpered upon this anxious depression.
Over and over again, going over the bumps.
Looking at the road seemed impossible to go on.
In fact I was about to even sit down and stop.
But as I looked beside me, she was there. Smiling.
So I smiled too. And I started walking with her, without a second thought.
On the way I hit bumps along with her.
Sometimes it would be nice and smooth,
and there are times where,
Ide hit her bumps and shed hit mine.
Sometimes […]
I know she cares and I know she loves me. But it still makes me sad when I try so hard to talk to her and make her happy and make her laugh and she just plain ignores me and plays with her phone, like a kid. It makes my heart hurt.
Just wanted to share that so someone, anyone, in the world knows. I hide too many feelings. I lie too much, mostly to myself.
For those that read my previous post, you know that I’ve worked 30 health care as a respiratory therapist and paramedic. My username reflects the motto of a paramedic and the job I dedicated to do.
During that time, I’ve seen many times where lives were not saved but extended. People uncomfortable in pain sad and miserable is there to variety of tubes and machines. Often times lying in their own feces or urine with open wounds draining the most terrible smelling fluids.
Often times these patients were getting good care but you can’t stand over a patient 24 hours a day 7 days a week and […]
And I’m no exception!
1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug […]
I don’t know where to go with this. I don’t even know that the details are worth it. Especially the past year, every time I make a little progress – work, finances, friendships – that and more are ripped from me.
What the fuck did I do that I’m always being punished? What I did – as though I had control over it – was that I was born. I survived physical, verbal, emotional and sexual abuse. I’ve survived HIV. I’ve survived losing everything including my home just over a decade ago. And it’s really time to end this nonsense. I’ve known for a while how […]
My life has been so terrible i feel like giving up. Every single day is longer and harder to get through. My ex boyfriend left me with our baby and i feel so overwhelmed. While he’s out there sleeping with other girls, smoking weed, and racing his car, I’m here just taking care of our daughter. Everything is on me. I feel like just killing myself so he can suffer. I feel like just running away into the streets filled with the promise of intoxication and liberty. I can forget everything. I can just die in a peaceful drugged out overdose.
I’m sick of being alive and today, I tried to intoxicate myself with water. Fuck, I thought today was my final day. I drank 2 gallons of water in less than an hour, although, I puked once. I felt this strong headache, started feeling dizzy and I had trouble breathing and I laid down on my bed for a bit and passed out. I woke up with pure disappointment on my face, I woke up to find my heart still beating. I don’t have many options for suicide, just this and falling off the Golden Gate , but I hesitate on the bridge. I just […]