just found out that my ex just told my classmates what we did when we were together. We didnt have sex but we did some things close to that. i know you get it. Im living in a conservative country and not liberated so you must get how worst my situation is. I dont know how will i face them tomorrow. i just wish that im dead. like …is it just me who’s karma is applicable? like other people did worse things than that but still living a good life. all i wanna do is to change my life. but life wont allow me. like […]
It never gets easier does it?
I don’t know what to say, or how to say it. I’m scared of being home. I have been for a long time. I know it’s not abuse, because it’s not physical, but I’m getting worse again, and I’m scared to call CPS because they’ll see nothing wrong….
My mother, she says she cares, and only wants the best for me, but she says things with a hidden meaning. In other words, she says one thing, and she has a hidden meaning behind it. She’ll say things like “It’s so much easier shopping for your sister, because she is perfect for anything.” and means “You’re always […]
My favourite quote: ” If you don’t understand mental illness, good. Good for you. You shouldn’t have to understand. If you don’t understand why some people can’t get out of bed in the morning, good. I hope you jump out of bed ever single day; ready to take the world by storm. If you don’t understand how someone could drag a blade across their skin, good. I hope you’re never that desperate to feel something. If you don’t understand what would drive a girl to keep starving herself despite everything she’s lost in the process, good. Stay heavy & present & real. If you don’t […]
This story is 100% batshit nut TRUE STORY. and its pretty queer and peculiar but here it goes……I NEVER thought I would be so unhappy in life but I realized shit hit the fan in my life from the beginning ….
BOTH of my parents conceived me in the state mental hospital and I was born in 1988 and was adopted
I have been homeless for over 2 years since 2011. and I tried to commit suicide 4 times too. I suffered a lot of emotional torture from being a crossdressing punk rocker who was raised in a adopted close minded conservative home , that I moved out of in 2006. […]
Last week a man shot himself in the park in the exact same spot I was planning on doing it awhile ago, no one even knew his name. Wow that coulda been me a year ago
It’s Sunday night, and as usual I’m stuck inside. No one trusts me to go out anymore and I always feel as though I’m on lock down. I’m bored. I don’t really want to play video games or watch movies, I have been doing nothing but that for the past month. Hoping some of you out there want to lighten up the mood, weekends are hard for me and apparently that’s not so uncommon. Especially since I know there are things I could be doing but can’t because it’s so hard to travel where I am without a car. I should have asked to get […]
and now it’s happening in mine.
I’m done. I’ve slowly been moving from sadness, loneliness, despair to feeling nothing. I feel emptier as each day passes. I will dangle lifelessly soon enough. This joke isn’t funny more.
My son is 18, he lives elsewhere, I’ve been a deadbeat mum due to something called bipolar disorder which rendered me incapable of making good decisions. I should have had my son adopted, my mum stepped in but later on she stepped right out and put my son into care at 8 while I had yet another psychotic breakdown. There is no dad for my child. He was psychotic, paranoid, a drug taker, denied paternity after refusing to use a condom for the one time we had sex.
Friends and relatives have good relationships with their kids, they were wanted and planned. Kills me inside.
The guilt […]
No matter how hard I try to distract myself and think of good thoughts, the bad ones always come back and persist. It has gotten to the point where I just want to kill myself and end it all. I can’t handle anything anymore
Never ever tell anyone that you’re going to kill yourself. No matter how much you want to. Don’t do it. Just do it unless you’re not certain.
Then be willing to accept what they will do to you in order to ‘help’ you.
Take a look around don’t you see it?
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what you’re feeling
Don’t feel bad keep your sadness alive
Look at all these happy people
Living their lives
Look at all these plastic people
There’s nothing inside
Look at all these shallow people
Telling their lies
Look at all these empty people, people
Don’t you know that misery loves company
Yeah I heard, the misery was looking for me
Happiness is a face that don’t look good on me
Yeah I heard, the misery comes looking for me
Woah, misery’s my […]
Tonight is really bad. I miss my girls so much. This is so hard to keep going through the days when the most important part of your life is gone, yet they are only minutes away and you cant go see them, call them, hug them, tell them you love them. I know ive made mistakes and done stupid things but I regret them honestly and truly. Doesnt that count for anything? I wish I would just die in my sleep tonight and be taken away from this hell.
I am 21 years old. About to drop off college. Lives with a depressed mother. Jobless. Everyone i know really doesn’t care except for my mother. I really don’t know what to do anymore. I can imagine my friends doing fine without me. Maybe getting out of their lives is just what they need to see their own lives and silver linings. I feel like disease and i want to shut myself from the world. I lied about everything. Its my 6th year in college trying to finish up a two year course and i hate it so bad that i feel like im […]
“Amnesia”
( by 5 Seconds of Summer )
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fineAre you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?
Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
‘Cause I’m not fine at all
I remember the day you told me you […]
fucking urges to self destruct and self mutilate are so strong today….I can’t give in…come on, get it together Gianna, almost 4 weeks clean, don’t ruin it now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Pl76R8u4mg
my life is crap. it will always be. i have bipolar disorder. i will always have it. why should i keep going? im not even sad right now, im just being honest. I have two people who im living for, my gf and my son. I cant provide for them because of my issues right now, plus horrible economy. im poor, and black. i have health problems. i couldnt find love if my gf left me, which she might. I have 1 other friend. I live with my folks, and my family is sick just like me. Im thinking of killing myself, and writing a […]
Seriously. When you’re as depressed, unable to trust, wounded, afraid, anxious, angry, and lonely as many of us are, can we really be helped by a therapist? I used to think so but it almost seems like it makes things worse because the therapist thinks they want to help but have no idea what they’re in for. Once they find out they can’t handle it and start taking things personally and then react instead of guiding.
This is a question that I am posting in hope of an answer, most of my other posts are simply because I need to get it off my chest, but this is a life situations I really need help on.
Maybe this isn’t the place to do it, but, well it links in.
I am a rape victim, I was caught up in an verbally, physically and sexually abusive relationship in my teens.
I have been with my partner for 2 years now, we have discussed engagement and everything is okay. That is exactly why I feel so trapped, it’s just so – ‘okay’. I mean we have […]