The thing I really don’t understand is why certain people on this planet have the indecency to bring other people down. Whether it be there music choice or fashion sense or whatever you can judge on. Believe me when I say i’ve been bullied but i’m not to sad or upset by it because those people that bullied me made me hold my head up a little higher. You will not kick me down because while your over there talking about me and getting these nasty ugly rumors out of your mouth just know that i’m not worried about a damn thing you have to […]
Like everyone here, im on the ragged edge. I watched a kitten last week for my (gf/ex/dont know where were at anymore) while she was on vacation with her family. Immediately I bonded with that little kitty and it actually helped me to feel a little bit better about things. Just having that companion to come home to. Knowing she was waiting for me. Her chasing me around the house attacking my leg. So I told my mom and sister about it and asked them to keep an eye out for one for me thinking maybe it will help. Today, after work, my sister told […]
hi all,
I stumbled across this site after numerous related searches…maybe it will feel “like home”. i’m turning 36 in 2 days and I never thought my life would be like this. I was always one of those positive people that said and believed things like “you determine your destiny” and “your life is what you make of it.” apparently, I’ve made a mess. it’s not that there is any one problem or even a list of problems. it’s that my whole life IS the problem. the simple fact that I exist and continue to exist is the problem. it’s beyond the point of “cheer up” […]
suicide should be an option if you have absolutely no answers or other viable options for your situation. I don’t care about “justifying” it to people, that guilt trip only lasts so long. How do they justify trying to keep someone alive that doesn’t want to be nor feel they have a reason to be? they says the suicide people are selfish well I agree it is very selfish that they want someone to be miserable every freaking day just so they don’t have to […]
I found this to be helpful…..
http://stayontop.org/suicide-preparation/
Feeling listless and apathetic, barely able to post this. Just want to sink into oblivion.
Crying each morning,
Crying all day.
Releasing the sorrow,
Releasing the pain.
Fight to wake up,
Fight to get out of bed.
Fighting the demons.
Inside my head.
Where do they come from,
Why are they there.
Maybe things would be different,
If someone would care.
Most look away.
It’s easier for them.
But I have a solution.
They will see then.
Maybe feel guilt,
Maybe feel shame.
Maybe feel something,
If they remember my name.
I have been praying that I will die today… is that so much to ask?
I don’t get how I gained weight !!! I calculated the calories I burn naturally in a day, plus exercise to burn more and only eating about 1000 calories…. according to that, I should have a deficit of about 1000 calories a day, so in 3 days and a half I am supposed to lose 1 pound !!! Three days later, I gained 0.7 pounds, wtf ?? I panicked when I saw the number and started crying. there is NO way I am staying fat.
Like cigarette smoke
My world is in a blur.
Gray and dried
Like a cancer that consumed my mind
poisoned and pissed
Anger is my love
Words so venomous
I bet it hurts
¡Danger! There’s no way out
You celebrate all the time that I waste
My bones are breaking under the weight of your success
We can be alone, together
Just know that every smile is a lie
Every Words been a line
Shedblack nights
Without a dawn
Alone behind my own made walls
Save me,Lie too me,Help me home
No more ropes
I’ve run out of power ups
No recharge
If it’s not for the barrel of a […]
I hate my life right now and the fact that my mother is always on my back isn’t helping me. ”get a job” ”pick your ass up and go outside” ”you lazy ass” ”what are you afraid of, people??” ”why’d you quit college in the first place for ?? ” ”it isn’t that hard” ”quit the drama”
Well you know what ?? FUCK. YOU. you selfish, ignorant, mean *****. she has been depressed, she should know better than to treat me like that. I am so anxious about turning 18 next month, and her comments aren’t making things easier for me. I KNOW i need a […]
Preparing for suicide….. mentally and final arrangements.
Goodbye to all soon.
And I wish the best for all of you, even the haters.
Well, this is the way
it goes for some of us.
We try our best,
we fight the good fight…
…and yet we cannot succeed
against the greater forces.
..And After everything
we’d been through,
Our moment
will finally arrive.
To part from this world,
and to move on to the other!!!
I haven’t posted on here in a while so thought I’d just give an update in the hopes it will maybe help others.
If you’ve read any of my other posts, you’ll know I was in a pretty bad way. I stopped sleeping and eating. I was in constant physical pain, had lost control of my bodily functions, was having hour-long panic attacks and constantly crying. I couldn’t go outside, couldn’t make phonecalls, could barely get out of bed. I would have meltdowns in public, screaming; had to have midnight trips to several hospitals. I was permanently shaking and on a massive cocktail of drugs […]
So I haven’t slept anything tonight either. It seems it has become somewhat an habit of mine, not sleeping that is. My brain’s a gooey mess, and I find myself at the edge of sanity yet again.
I don’t know what’s worse, living in this blurry world of mine in a zombie like state, wasting time, almost not existing… Feeling this emptyness… It’s funny… No Mather how shit everything feels, if you take away one of the human essentials it actually gets worse. I just miss seeing things clearly, ya know? Sleeplessness is fogging up my fucked up mind and I feel so powerless.
but as I […]
you choke on the blood.
I’m done with this.
Drowning in the sea of my tears
I can’t see anything clear
I can only feel (oh, how I feel)
This huge pain inside me
And before the water covers me all
My heart will make a last effort and cry:
“Please, someone help me!
Don’t let me drown in my tears
Take me somewhere without fear
Where I can finally find
A happiness without any pain”
But no one heard the cry
So I let my breath out and die
This is my life
This is my soul
Full of sadness and dark
Always breaking and falling apart
With this bitterness I can’t, take out of my heart
It’s all dark
All dark inside here
All my lights have gone off
And I can’t see anything
But this darkness inside me
This is my heart
This is my reality
Full of hurt and black
Always falling down and cry
With this sorrow I have inside
It’s all dark
All dark inside here
All my lights have gone off
And I can’t see anything
But this darkness inside me
I want to disappear. I don’t think I want to die as such, I just don’t want to exist, either.
That’s it really, I just don’t want to exist anymore. If I could just flick a switch and not be here anymore, I would. I would do it straight away, no questions asked. I suppose that switch is basically a permanent one, a switch of life or death.
That’s the thing though, I’m unsure whether it’s suicide I want. I want to not be here but I don’t want to be dead.
So am I suicidal? Is it suicidal to just want to disappear?
A release. I suppose that’s […]
How can I feel so numb from everything an everyone yet still be in so much pain. So much. I just want out, I’m honestly tryna make it work but then I wake up in the morning and it all repeats. At least I’ve still got my plan, I hope I wont need it but I know I will.