I am looking for a way to commit suicide easily but i didn’t find a way. there is always hard to find a easy way even for dying. Life never give us easy choices, Life is giving me hard choices live with regrets as a looser or die. are these only options or there is another option but i can’t see it because there is so much darkness around me. maybe there is some other way , trying to find new hope trying to push my self for keep fighting not to loose hope. every day i wake up for finding new hope and every […]
I cant stop obsessing on my last job. The boss treated me like shit and it really damaged my confidence. It was a camp job 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. I stayed for 2 turnarounds. And both were utter hell. I’ve been dealing with depression for years now and whatever happend when i went to this job this guy just triggered every insecurity i had in me. I shut down and ended up quitting and stayed in bed at home for like a week . My girl doesn’t know how to deal with me. I feel so broken and ashamed i could let this […]
So I’ve suspected what was coming for a few weeks and had plenty of time to contemplate what would happen. My love finally told me last night she wasn’t coming home to me and that she needed a divorce. Unfortunately she’s halfway around the world “defending our country” and I’m left home keeping her house ready for her for the next couple months. Of course when she gets back I’ll need to leave my life behind. My family, house, sanity becomes hers. She’s not angry and has been talking to me about getting help but it doesn’t help. I’m currently in therapy and on meds […]
Poorly know English so i use translate.google. When I use plastic bag and I open the valve of the tank of helium, I’ll need to close the valve ?? Plastic bag will not burst (explode) ?? I live in a country where suicide is a mortal sin. Nothing about it I can learn.
I am a certified genius.
that’s a good thing and a bad thing.
I am a constant danger to myself. I know exactly how my body ‘ticks’. and I know how to make it stop ticking. I don’t need no knife or revolver I am able to use anything except the air filling my lungs. I have been planning my departure for almost 9 years now. escaping pain in it’s various forms.
heartbreak, impending failure, shame.
You know the time right after a really heavy rainstorm? When it’s quiet and peaceful and all of the ugliness is over – Honestly, I’ve always been a little afraid of heavy rainstorms, especially when there’s lightening and thunder. But I love when it’s over – I like to stand outside and smell the fresh air, and breathe a sigh of relief – not nervous anymore. I’m hoping that’s what we’ve finally come to – the end of the thunderstorm. I don’t want to be nervous anymore. It has been what I have dubbed “the winter of our discontent” – a seemingly endless series of […]
So I am new here, I’ve read some of your stories and from what I’ve read you all seem like such strong, kind, loving caring people.
I know people have this attitude towards suicide and the word strong does not come up very often.
However yes you are strong!
You have made it this far and I hope with all my heart something will come to you to help you through your dark times and help you towards a light (not particularly a religious one, but something that will give you hope to carry on).
I guess my story is a survival story, I am […]
I count all the broken hearts I will leave behind.
You are the only ones that are keeping me here, even though I long to say goodbye.
How could I ever express my gratitude to you for keeping me alive all this time.
How could I ever apologise.
I know I can’t but I am sorry.
I will love you forever and I will see in the next life.
All of my love, my heart and my mind.
Forever yours,
Xx
(This is merely a poem, not an actual suicide note and I am hoping never will be)
I’m 24 I’m a college undergrad and have been dealing with depression since I was young. Seems like I have to be strong for everyone but I don’t know how to let people be there for me. Every time I turn around the people I get close to leave me. Starting with my best friend being killed in front of me when I was younger and I blame myself for not being able to do anything like it should have been me instead. Not to add when I was young my baby sitter and her brother would take turns doing things to me I have […]
I have been thinking about death a lot for the past two months. I feel as if my life has been going down hill. I lived abroad for almost 5 years (12-17years old). I made most of my friends during that time and due to some circumstances I was forced to move back to the USA. I’ve been back here for almost 2 years now and I have no friends. I do have a boyfriend, but he has his own life (family, friends, school, etc) . Where in my case, he’s my life. He’s the only one I can talk to besides my family. I […]
so, here is my story. back 2012, i moved school so i could be a more dedicated student and stuff, but what i actually did was study like a slave for 14 hours or more. i also had all my teachers saying “how are you going to enter a university? you need to study harder” and that’s what i did. i stopped doing everything i loved, i stopped watching movies, reading books that weren’t from school, texting or calling friends, or even hanging out with friends, i also stopped listening to music (yes somehow i managed to do that) and taking pictures of myself). my […]
I dont know what to do with myself. My mother told me i failed every class of my sophmore year, that im a failure, stupid, a waist of time, that im on the right way of being homeless. She tells me i cant go to summer school cause she doesnt want to waist her time and that i have to get a job to help myself from now on. I live right down from my school, about one hour walk. I can do it myself. I dont need her to help me. She said i dont get a second chance so i say”But thats the […]
I’m sixteen and just recently got caught shoplifting. I’m so stupid. I have one of the highest gpas in my school, play a varsity sport, and successfully take the hardest APs at my school but I threw everything away with this one mistake. My parents blame themselves when it’s all my fault not theirs. They barely make enough to support our family yet I selfishly cost them more so that I can get an attorney in hopes that this won’t remain on my record. If this stays on my record I don’t have any chance of going anywhere in life and all that stress and […]
im so tired of thinking things will get better when its obvious there only getting worse i cant take life its just too much for me !!! i really dont know what to do with myself 🙁 !!!!
Well… I’m 15. I’m scared to talk to people about my problems, so I thought, why not post what I think on here.
I’ve been going through depression for 3 years now. I’ve been having suicide thoughts. Thing is, I’ve been scared to talk to people. I know they are there to help, my mum, my nan and all. It’s hard to just speak up. I feel like I’m always in there way, so I hardly talk to them about my problems. I’ve told a few of my friends about my problems, but I feel like I’m being self centred all the time and I […]
I’ve been depressed for years. Abused at an early age by a neaighbor.. That was the start. I got into trouble hung out with the assholes for no reason other them they were in pain too. I have a beautifal family who i love so much. It kills me to be the way i am. I went to prison i hurt people in fights and i paid dearly for it. I found out one day that i wasn’t like the sociopaths i was surrounded by and i had a massive nervous breakdown. I was. Sent to a psych ward and then i spent 18 months […]
I sit in my room every night weighing up the pro’s and con’s of ending my life? And most days the pro’s out weigh the con’s, but then I remember what I’d been told.
“suicide is a selfish act”.
Is that so? I can’t get my head around which is more selfish. Taking your own life, or being made to live it?
Yes before it crosses your mind I do cut myself, but I do it in random places not in lines so all it looks like is a few normal scars. I probably do it so keep some sort of sense of control so […]
I just found today an old post of mine to this site, back in 2009. I have lost the login because I don’t have anymore the email account that I used. A long story. My nick was griks and here is the post:
http://suicideproject.org/2009/11/it-all-sucks/
It was me. I remember I just posted that and didn’t look anymore. I am shocked the post has 19 comments. From almost every year , and the last one is from January 2014, only 5 months ago! and I posted that on 2009.
I said I didn’t know why I shared that and now I still don’t know why I am writing […]
I need to flee SoCal.
I am the black dragon.
To heal my wound scales.
The faith, where is the wagon.
Twelve, the number is zero.
Now, in the age of oblivion.
Yet to be, another hero.
Welcome, our faith of destruction.
Fate, have you ever heard of the undead.
I live, here I am. Messiah in the dark, read my palm.
The heart of the ultimate scale, inside of me.
A turbulent chaotic beast, the rage of hell.
Peace like a saint.
Faith is my sword. My rotting flesh, sworn to be vowed.
Like Cyclops, inborn half-man and half-weapon.
My mission. My battle. My war. Forever until […]
This is just a question that I don’t think I could answer myself, but I never understood why people would look for a suicide partner? Is it because they are scared to do it by themselves? Is it so they could be less lonely? I don’t know having a partner with me would make me feel like I was responsible for someones death. I hope I don’t sound judgy because I am honestly not trying to be. I am just genuinely curious.