My dad is always getting pissed off all day. I think he’s just really stressed all the time. And I get that but he lets his anger show all the time (a little too much for my taste) Anyways so I decided to type this up right now because I just recently witnessed my dad’s abusive parenting?(I don’t know if it was) My dad just got done screaming at my little brother for having bad grades. Not only did he scream at him but he also grabbed him tightly by the arms like he was some kind of dummy and started shaking him violently while […]

when yiou drink the rest of hyour champagne and drink some whiskey and take you r medicine and end up bcoming so out of it, you ccan’ t even think. yeahhh. todahy has sucked.   fucked up once again, …the girl i love is gone and her e i am, wishing i could take that razor and cut my vewin open…but i don’t have the strength…i’m too tired. i’m tired of everything. i have my first day of work tommorow that i’m probably foing to fuck up as well since i forgot eveerything. i need to sleep but no, i gots tio go get a […]

When I’m sad or angry I usually hear to my favorite songs in my room, and I cry a lot.Each one means something to me (please don’t judge me for my preferences)

Safe and sound – Taylor Swift
I knew you were trouble – Taylor Swift
You make me wanna die – The pretty reckless
My medicine – The pretty reckless
Kill me – The pretty reckless
Miss nothing – The pretty reckless
Recharge e revolt – The raveonettes
I hate everything about you – Three days grace
Back to black – Amy winehouse
Stronger than me – Amy winehouse
Wake up alone – Amy winehouse

People assume that we, who are suicidal, are stupid or not smart enough.. We are actually very smart, we can see things the way they are, we analyze the problems and we know there is a solution but we also know it will always come back to the same Shit

She’s on the floor, bleeding out
I thought she was dead, without a doubt
My honesty is brutal, I’m a killer without care
she could go missing, and i wouldn’t tell anyone, where.

I can hang you high or cut you low
but I’ll always make sure, you know
I can be cruel, I can be stiff but if i could, i’d jump off a cliff.

I’ll suffocate you in your sleep.
I’ll wait till midnight to bury you deep.
I’ll stop your heart, so it can’t beat
and i’ll shoot you once  so you can cheat.

I’m a killer without a care
but I myself have been […]

My last post suddenly blew up with pointless raging that came out of nowhere, so hopefully this doesn’t happen again here.

Anyway, I was laying here thinking about before when my priest told me that life is a gift after I asked why I would be doomed to hell if I killed myself…and I got to thinking, life is a gift, but if a gift is given to you and it breaks, and no matter how many times you try to fix it, it stays broken. You wouldn’t expect the person to hold on to something so useless would you?

Have you ever did something bad to someone?
Have you ever hurt somebody’s feelings?
Have you ever tought about killing someone?
Have you ever planned to kill someone?
Have you ever desired someone to suffer?
I’ve been thinking about being bad, I’m usually sad, shy and fragile, but lately…

I fucked up again, this girl emily (who i like) cut her wrist open again and i was the cause of it. I got drunk last night and told her she was just like my ex and that she didn’t a shit what she does to people and then she told “Meris. Before I go, you forgot where you met me. you met me at my worst but i covered it so well. i’m lying in a pool of my own blood and all i want to do is thank you for reminding me why i tried the first time”  I told her from the […]

Can someone please explain to me why it’s ok for my ex to tell everyone he sees that he’s got a date coming up, but it’s wrong for me to say that a friend told me that I should consider thinking about the possibility of maybe dating again? I’m glad my ex has a date, maybe he’ll finally leave me alone, other than that, I don’t really care too much. What bugs me though, is after saying that I might CONSIDER thinking about dating, he throws a fit and says that I think he’s worthless, and I never cared and blah blah blah. Is it […]

I hate the nights when you lay in bed for hours and hours because your mind just won’t stop for just one second and give you a break from everything.Like tonight I’ve been laying in bed for hours just overthinking about everything and anything.Why can’t I just go to sleep.

http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/Alive-Out-Of-Habit.mp3

Why should it be taboo to kill ourselves?  Just because other people don’t want it doesn’t make it abnormal.  I don’t understand why people want to continue living with all the shit they have to deal with.  Wake up, go to school/work/, eat, sleep, rinse, repeat.  I’ve had relationships, but to me they’re more trouble than they’re worth.  I don’t want to have kids.  I care about my family, but that’s a tiny portion of life.  It’s not enough to keep me going because I still have to be me every day and it’s exhausting.  The rest is work, eat, sleep, fuck, etc.  That’s […]

Make the dreams go away!

i need an idea, something to write about, anything to take my mind off of things. plz

I just can’t trust one of my friends.They keep going to the school guidance officer and telling him every little bit of information I tell them about me.I am really getting sick of , yesterday one of their parents actually rang the deputy principal and told him I was gonna hurt my self, I never even said that to anyone so where are they getting that information from.Today my mum got a phone call from the guidance officer saying that one of my friends parents printed out pictures of things I posted on Instagram, why can’t they just mind their own business and stop making […]

I think I might try in a couple days…
It’s earlier than I expected but I can’t handle this anymore…

Goodbye everyone… I hope you just follow your hearts…

~E

Lately I’ve been wanting to kill myself. I’m the oldest in my family (15 yrs old).

    I don’t have many friends only one best friend and two acquaintances.. I’ve tried to commit suicide once with pills which made me vomet. I hate when people say I have it easy even though they don’t know what goes on through my head. Currently at the moment I feel like I’m being hated and bullied by all the people around me. I’ve been called a(n): Whore, *****, Slut, Hoe, Worthless, No good, loner, Nobody likes you, you should go kill yourself, and etc.

1

I am curious about something – I’m sorry of it seems trite or stupid. I don’t mean to be joking around. That being said, here goes:

Let’s assume, hypothetically for the moment that Hell exists and it is in fact governed by a fallen angel. Imagine what you will about eternal fire, absence of God, eternal and terrifying punishment – whatever your imagination can construe. And for the purposes of this question,the more horrible the better. You wake up tomorrow in the same pain and agony you were in when you went to bed. It’s just another day; same shit, different day. You have the same […]

So me and my dad don’t get along very well…..we never have. I love him and he loves me but unfortunately I inherited too many of my mom’s genes……too many for him I guess. We’ve never really had time to bond, especially not in a family of 7 or what once used to be a family of 7……Don’t worry, nobody died. My parents just got divorced a couple years back that’s all. But anyways the point is me and my father are 2 completely different people. Sure I’ve got some of his genes in me but not enough to show. I’m a really calm, easygoing […]

I’ve been thinking about you a lot recently, and I don’t know if there’s ever going to be a time where there mere sight of your name doesn’t make my stomach flutter.

I miss you.

I’d do anything to talk to you one more time. I think you’d be proud.

Did you really mean it when you said we were meant for each other?

Everything I do is because of you.

Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”

It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting […]