it’s sad that no one realizes my pain. Nobody wonders what I’m feeling. its either that or they just dot care enough to ask…but now I’m asking for one person, one person on here to reach out…this is not long. And for good reason, what is said is all that needs to be said. One person…
This is actually a question, and if you don’t mind answering, I would be extremely grateful.
So, if you read my earlier posts, you would know I tried to kill myself the other day; and I am unwilling to report, I tried earlier tonight. It wasn’t my actual intention tonight, I was just cutting. I just got this urge to do it, and so I overdosed on the nearest pills and went up my arm again. Also, my cutting was due to school. I began having a panic attack when I had to get up in front of the class to speak. In all honesty, I […]
Usually, I cut with razors.. Today I tried a pencil sharpener blade instead. Once I began to uncontrollably bleed, I had a panic attack. I almost called 911 I was so scared. I’ll never forget the shaking, but I still couldn’t cry.. I wasn’t sorry.
10 minutes after I now realize I loved it. I can’t wait to do it again.
I just want my dad back Well im new here, as you can tell this is my first note? Story? Im not sure what these would be called on here, i just know that i found this site for, I’m not sure but some reason, and i feel the need to finally get my feelings out somewhere. Well i don’t want people to feel bad for me or anything, just that i need to let this out, when i was younger i had a great life, well i did but the bad things where always covered up so i never knew what was […]
Just got a visit from the “new owner” of my house. Evidently i have anywhere from 10 days to 4 weeks to scram … that ain’t much time to find a solution or to get a lucky break.
I know one solution that i’ve had in my back pocket for a couple years now for just such an occasion … maybe it’s time to drag it out and dust it off … Â the clock is ticking …
countdown dawg
I want to die… slow.. plainless.. content. Because life has done the horrid torture.. erase myself silently from this world, alone.
Because watching time move frame by frame and not be able to alter it is unbearable, punishment for menial wrongdoings is torturing, the fight put up to no triumph – like whirling harder and harder only to find out…trapped..inside quicksand. The quicksand – a mind with harsh hypocritisism: dream big, who the hell do you think you are.. strive, you’ll break through, what an idiot: look around you, nobody likes you, you’re nothing…
It is too much to bear, i can no longer fight a dark […]
I’m not afraid of being laughed at. I just think that, even if I do my best now, I still may not be able to reach my goal. No… I know the chance of success is way too low. Knowing that, why would I even try?! Why don’t I just living my life like this ’till the end?
Hello, there. I know life has become so bad, but we can be together forever. No one cared about you but I’ll care for you. You’ve gone into a deep depression and I can help you to get out of your depression and I can make your life happy 🙂
I need a girl’s friendship. I’m just a normal boy looking for someone special in my life! I don’t know if I can find someone to talk to. Even if My life was perfect it was like mess for me, I was depressed too but I learned to getup and change my life. My life is […]
Hey guys. I’m a 20 year old guy, and I’ve been suffering from generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder for years, and possibly some kind of bipolar disorder. As a result of my social anxiety, it has been almost impossible for me to make connections with people. I have one close friend, and have never had a girlfriend. Girls think I’m cute, but then I start talking to them and they lose interest because I’m awkward. I wish I had a girlfriend.
Anyway, on top of everything, I’m going bald. I used to have awesome, long hair. Apparently my hairline receded in the […]
Hey, my life Is horrible I’m tortured every single day and there’s nothing that I can do about it. I’ve decided I’ve had enough and I’m going to end it but I have a dillema. I can not afford a gun to blow my brains out, I’ve looked into hanging but the last inevitable seconds clutching for life and gasping for air would shatter my soul and I could not bare the thought of it. So that leaves cutting which is my prefered method. I’ve made an attempt in the past however I was ill informed, I cut my wrists and forearms with a serrated […]
I don’t have the intention of offending anyone and I am not certain what behooved me to think of this, but the more minutes pass the more legitimate it seems…what if I pretended to be so unstable I was granted the permission for a lobotomy procedure? Do you think this would be a possible alternative to suicide for you if family or friends did not have to take care of you? Could I successfully fake it? Would I or you be unreceptive enough to not care how we were treated or if we were alive or not? Or what if I pretended to have severe […]
Suicide as a safety mechanism, self-defense. Do you ever think about committing suicide for fear that at some point in the future you will be tortured without escape? If we’d take for instance the occurrance of the Nazi experiments where people were captured, locked away and cut open (often without anesthesia)….let’s use that for example. So you are worried that something like this may happen to you in the future, or may happen to a loved one in the future. And that worry is not “crazy” or “weird” because anything under the sun can happen here in this world. If it’s happened once, it can […]
and i realize that
at this point, its not a cry for help
or that i just want the pain to go away
the only thing i really want at this point is to cease my existence
i do really want to die
im just drifting, gripping onto late projects and upcoming concerts
new seasons, concerned friends
but i’m going to end up dead in a ditch anyways
addict, alcoholic, homeless, eating disorder relapse
one of these things is going to consume me when im living on my own
and eventually kill me
so why not get a head start?
i cant even leave the house without being terrified that im going to bump into my rapist
im […]
i hit seven cuts tonight. they dont lie when they say its addictive….
I just want it to end.
EVERYTHING.
none of it will stop. I feel everything telling me to just do it already!
its not like I’m worth it.
i need to Do it. Or I need to completely  start over.
which should I do?
I wish I could return.
Let those bad memories burn.
See again that blissful light at the end of the tunnel.
A perfect nook for a girl to snuggle.
Hit those buttons with vigour.
Flick the monsters with a finger.
There’s been a number of tries.
Look and not feel pain in my eyes.
Cry ‘em all out with relish, not anguish.
Every blink of the eye that counts.
There’s been a number of rounds.
Not a soul filled with terror, sick remorse.
Hindered by some unseen force. Â
A soul free from time. A soul free from torture.
Back into that time, away […]
This is an angry fucking rant…………. I’m depressed. If I wasn’t I would be here it to write one of the sappy fucking comments that give you “love and inspiration”. But you know what?? It isn’t that easy! You can tell me to be happy but how in the world am I supposed to do that??! It doesn’t come naturally for all of us. I’m just so tired….. I’ve tried once before in the most stereotypical way…. But I didn’t cut deep enough. Almost wasn’t enough…. I’m so pitiful I can’t even end my own life. The worst part is, is that my parents don’t […]
I can’t really explain the darkness that lives within me. My sadness is eating me up inside and it’s slowly killing me inside but all I can do is say that “I’m okay” and fake a smile. I sometimes wish I was dead but you know I’m still here living in this cruel world. I don’t think anyone would notice if I was gone, I’m better off dead anyways. I’m just lost and sad. I wish I wasn’t like this, I wish that I could belive that everything will be okay but to be honest everything is just getting worse. ~Apathy
Just like every year around the same time I feel myself getting worse and worse and falling deeper and deeper into depression. I’m honestly worried for my well being right now. I’ve made it so long without seeing my friends and I only have to wait a couple more weeks until some of them are back for Thanksgiving break…that thought in mind is the only thing keeping me from breaking down. I’ve had too much time alone and too much time to think.
I am so sorry for wasting your time with this, but I have to get it out. For the past seven years, I’ve had problems hiding things and lying to my parents. Now, my dad is so upset with me that he refuses to talk to me. I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time, and how much I was hurting them. I can’t help but think that if I commit suicide, it’ll make all there problems go away and they’ll finally be happy. They once assured me this was not the case but I can’t help think it anyway. They’ve talked to […]