Here I am again, it’s been a long time and nothing has changed. But today, for the first time of my life, I want to fight. Fight against those who want to crush me, fight for those who can’t get up. So, from today, I’m gonna run, run into the life and make my path shine like no one else !
Here I am asking myself if I have made my parents proud. if I came out the way they expected me to be. I’m so lost in the world trying to figure out who I am,who I’m trying to be or who I’m meant to be. I can’t accomplish things because I have a little voice in my head that tells me every flaw I have upon myself, every wrong I’ve ever done and every disappointment. I’ve been self harming myself for 5 years now. I started as a 6th grader. (So young,yes I know.) And I am a junior now and still have such […]
I’ve been contemplating my death for years, but recently it has become a constant thought. I’m continually planning exactly everything I need to do to make sure that no one has to clean up after me, no physical, financial, or emotional mess. I don’t want my mum to have to deal my mess.
I’m a mum, and this makes it hard, because I love them so much, but I’m destroying them, my whole being is pointless, and toxic in their lives, and they deserve so much more. I just don’t want them to have any burden…If I was able to just disappear and there would be […]
I made an attempt in July. I tried to hang myself, I had blacked out when the cord snapped. a friend helped me back then, got me to a doctor and then a psychiatric unit. I’ve tried so hard to be normal and happy but I just don’t have the energy anymore. I lost my job because i just can’t hide my depression anymore. I find myself alone wishing to die, in company wishing to die. Afraid to act again out of guilt. I really don’t know how I can get through another night like this. I’m so lonely and afraid, everything makes me cry […]
the line it gets better is  actually true. but its only better for so long before the pain and sorrow starts again. that’s it. that’s  life. a never ending rain. It always gets better, but when it is, it just goes down again. i see no point in living a life will i will never be happy. struggling with this pain everyday is not what i want.  I fear life more than death and that’s not okay. between anxiety attacks, at every second, and my wrist screaming at me.  i’d much rather be gone. no feelings.  no pain.  Noone can tell me that its “gonna […]
I’m shooting myself tomorrow. I love my life. I love my sister. It’s everything I could ever dream of, but I can’t sleep and I’m incredibly unhappy 🙁 I think of all of the opportunities I had to have a great love and be happy and I blew it. I wish I could blame my family situation, but who gets to do that? We dig our own graves, so to speak. I miss my mom though and I miss my family the way that they were. Â I’m not a teenager. I’m a single 27 year old female with a house, a profession, a college degree, […]
I posted on here a while ago. I am still here but I do wonder why. life is hard, I know, much harder for many others than it is for me, but I just can’t see the point. I have no motivation lately, I have no motivation to excercise, to diet or even to shower. I cancel plans with friends because I just can’t be bothered and don’t want to see anyone. I just feel so tired all the time.
I often wonder when I will do it. I have always thought I will end my own life. Things are just so frustrating. I don’t […]
I’ve made a post before telling how and why I feel unhappy. But life seems so dull for me, and for some reason seems to like to send people that just aim to stress and hurt me emotionally. In the shortest way I can explain as to why my problems are worsening is I’m just tired of everyone. I’ve become so emotionless to the point where I just don’t care about almost everything, I ignored it to the point where it’s just all to much. The only thing stoping my end is just the fear of pain.
I hate being bipolar. It’s hell. I can’t love.
It’s as if I’m stuck on the inside, and no matter how hard I try I can’t control it. Someone has taken control of my body. I can only watch things unfold. Nothing can help. Nothing can stop it. I lay in bed at night dreading the next day. I can’t wait for it to end.
i laughed during a moment of silence in school for rememberance day. then my boyfriend started laughing and we got in a ton of trouble. one teacher spoke to me about how disrespectful and disgusting my act was, i spoke to him about how disrespectful and disgusting it was that he cheats on his wife daily, he did not appreciate that “act” either.
this may seem really weird, but im actually really excited to die. im counting down the seconds until i will have gone 10 days with out food or water. the only thing that i am kind of feeling iffy about is the fact that im goin to die fat. that really pisses me off big time. i dont know why, but i just really really want to die, it has become a lust, a desire, and an obsession.
my head is pounding, my vision is blurring, and my thoughts are skewed, i am on hour 20 of my fast, boycotting water and food. i read that old people restrict themselves of food and water, as a way of suicide, and the process often lasts around 5-10 days, so i guess that is how long i have left. i am grateful for this kind of suicide because my family and friends might not be aware that my death was volentary, hopefully the will see it as a crude accident, and feel no responsibility. fingers crossed.
Im 17. I have a 1 year old daughter. Today. I am married. Have been wuth the same guy for 4 years in december. On nov. 10th, 2012. At 9:08pm me and my husband got into a reck. I was 9months pregnant and was going to be induced. We flipped 23times and I was ejected out of the back window on the 9th or 10th flip. The back of my head was stappled shut and memory of that night was taken away *except* (along with the first 3 months of ger life) I had a ceribrial hemotoma […]
I’ve had a pretty turbulent relationship with C for 3-4 years now. He knows absolutely everything about me, my mental health and most importantly, the reason I’m so fucked up. We fight a lot and normally make up after a few days but this time it has gone too far. He’s changed his email address, phone number and moved back in with his parents (who are 200 miles away). I have no method of getting in touch with him whatsoever and I’ve never felt so hopeless. I physically cannot live without him. We’ve spoken together of committing suicide in the past and right now I’m […]
I’ve never had thoughts like these before. I guess it all started when i lost my girlfriend of 5 years. I always thought i had it good. I have a good job, im well respected by co-workers and friends, but i realised i had nothing when i lost her. I left University where i was studying psychology to work and travel abroad, which i did, happily for 2 years (this is before i met my ex) I lived in Rome, Amsterdam, and Strasbourg all thanks to my job. Now I just can’t cope. I get irritable around friends and family even if they ask me […]
Two years before I was to be born the greatest dog of all time was born, she was beaten up by children so she hated children. My grandparents took her in when she was one year old from the pound. She is a full breed German shepherd with the perfect length tail, nose and perfect height. Perfect for a dog show. Then i was born at the same time as her first litter, only one of her two born puppies survived. I wasn’t barked at by her at all. When I learned to walk and was getting sleepy, I’d get a bottle of milk from […]
Did I really think that he liked me? So naive, so naive, so naive…
Bye bye, my love, bye bye…
Sometimes I get torn between what I want and what people around me want. What I want is to be seen. I feel like people look at me but they’re not really fucking looking at me, and a couple of months I looked at this as a blessing and now it just makes me really fucking sad. I feel like no one cares, and however cliche that sounds; they don’t. No one cares anymore, no one even fucking listens. No ones listening, they’re just waiting for you to shut up so they can be heard. Do you know how annoying it is?. Do you know […]
Whats the point? What’s the point in trying anymore? trying in school, friendships, relationships, life….
Nobody listens,nobody ever fucking listens. I might as well be talking to a wall for all the response I get. Hey at least a wall is helpful in someway, I could bang my head against it. People on the other hand, no fucking use. It wasn’t enough that I hinted how much I hate my life, that sometimes I didn’t hide my scars on purpose hoping you would give a shit, no. I could almost handle you not noticing. But when I physically broke down and told you everything and […]
I hear voices taunting me keeping me up at night.
Laughing.
Yelling hateful words at me.
I can’t take it anymore.
I want to cut but i know that’s what they want.
I need help but i know if i tell they will get worse.
Please someone help me.
I can’t take it anymore.