hello, my name is javi. my kik name is javiersalvo. you can talk to me about anything, u can ask me for advice or just complain and get shit off your chest.
10 years ago I was released from being sexually abused for two years.
My mother would work nights, and my older brother was asleep. He always was a heavy sleeper.
The predator took in me in the middle of the night to keep his “needs” at rest.
From ages 3-5 I was a prisoner. I was held against my will in a bed with my mother’s boyfriend at the time.
What a sick, twisted game.
He would rape his daughter next to me. Both of us looking at each other with alert eyes screaming “Help!”
There was no saving us. There was no chance at leaving. The only thing to comfort […]
I am – please excuse my language – absolutely shitting myself right now.
I’m tossing around the idea of hacking at my arm vertically tonight – I did last night, though the cuts weren’t deep enough for my liking, or the purpose, should I say? Sitting here, right now, I’m am literally smiling just thinking about it.
I’ll look to my arm and it’ll screams at me to cut it.
I’ll look to the blade and it’ll screams at me to use it.
I’ll look it the mirror and my reflection will scream at me to do it.
And so, I’ll look for a reason not to – any reason. But […]
dear R,
so, i know I’m about to make things even worse between us and i’m sorry that i’m being blunt but its the only way ik how to be. and i need to say this because its been bothering me and i feel like if i say this then i’ll be able to get over u. because i’m not good at this, i’ve never had the chance to be good at this. but we could have made it work. we could have gotten over the awkwardness. if we had hung out one on one then we could have gotten to know each other and been […]
I DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE. I am done with everyone! Some people are so fucking hypocritical. Take my “best friend”. Apparently for example. She is a slut. If I did half the things she did she would be all bitchy but no. If she does it it’s ok. I’m sick of being played around so hurt innocent people becasue of it. I used to be so happy. Now I Â can’t fucking take it. I do stuff even I cant explain and there’s no one here to help. Everyone has their own life to deal with but I can’t deal any longer. I can’t […]
well the fridge is empty and i should probably get some food but I’m not I’m going to the store to get a fifth of vodka a fifth of whiskey and a bag of disposable bic razors and a pack of Marlboro red 100s tonight will be interesting
I do not want to hurt people. But I do I do I do….
Great philosophers have told me that one isn’t good because of it’s words but one is good because it’s actions. (not a native English speaker, so do ou use it or what? Ignore this, just wanted to make sure I’m not wrong) Therefore I’m not good at all.
I’m a heatbreaker.
Because my heart belongs to some one else no one can have me now.
And You might say that this post is not supposed to be in suicidepoject but i honestly feel suicidal because I hurt people. I know how […]
I’ve stopped caring and so has everyone else. I’m struggling to find a reason to keep living this awful life, it’s not like I’ll go far in life anyways. Everyone dies eventually, why can’t I just make it happen for myself?
I’m kinda sick and tired of the endless arguments we have. I feel that it has all drain my energy. Like I can’t respond anymore, I’m too tired to even think, to fight back to say what I want to say. I don’t want to leave you neither do I want you to leave me. Because you’re so important to me, I can’t find any guy like you. I will never be able to find a replacement. You’re perfect. You may have hurt me and so did I. But you’re the perfect one. There’s arguments and fights but why can’t we get over it? Can’t […]
So much things on my mind. But can’t seem to find words to express myself. All I have is endless tears and suicidal thoughts.
My health, my youth, my dreams, my potential, my opportunities, the blessings I have had…
All wasted. I don’t even know why, I truly don’t know why. I don’t know why I’ve been wasting myself. I don’t know what I’ve been doing or thinking.
If, and, but…
Maybe, can’t, no…
Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve…
The beginning of the end is almost here, I hear, and I don’t know what to do now.
I need pills. I need to smoke. I need to cut.
Where can I get pills? Where can I find cigarettes when I’m not the age to buy it.
I’m sure people here can relate, so here it goes.
Who are you going to be today? Or, if that doesn’t fit you..try.. Who did you wake up as today?
I believe it’s natural to take a different approach every day to how we go about thinking, doing, talking, etc. Its even more useful when trying to improve situations from previous days (or the previous day)
Sometimes we have to be the more sensitive listener, when maybe the day before we might not have been so.
Or maybe it would be valuable to have a stern approach with people, knowing that some people like to walk […]
I honestly don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I have a great family, several friends -an average life.
So why do I feel this bad about my life? Why do I think about suicide so many times a day? I’ve even planned my ‘dream suicide’.
I read everywhere about depresssion and the advice seems to be to talk to people about it. But I’m too shy to go to a doctor and too embaressed to tell my family or friends. They wouldn’t take me seriously anyway, they wouldn’t understand why I have such a want to die. I don’t even understand.
I’ve heard very few […]
P.U.S.H. Pray until something happens and Mariam when that time comes remember I will never say no to you …because I realy do love and care for you. And I wish you were my fairy tail love story ..But God Has plans for you and me .maybe in another life or this one Lord I give you everything with my hands lifted high asking You Lord for help I need you and I give my self fully to You Lord
i live a world full of seclusion. nobody likes me, nobody gives a damn whether i live or die so what the hell do i really stay here for? ive never met expectations by my parents or really anyone for that matter, im ugly as all hell nobody bothers to ever try talking to me because nobody understands me, my live is just a gaint pile of depression, pain, and suffering. i go through each day thinking of the best ways of ending it so that i can rid of this horrible life. im sick of this i feel like im trapped in a world […]
can anyone give me some insight on cutting? ive wanted to for some time now i just want to see how it is before i jump into it
I am new here, both the website and the desire to end it. I am a seventeen year old male in the 12th grade. I have read many of the stories and thought it best if my story is out there somewhere, for when I am gone(even if no one I know reads it).
I have had a great life, that makes the feelings I have more confusing, both to me and the doctors. I move a lot and have little amounts of friends, but I am ok with that. I am very smart, especially in mathematics.
My life started its bitter collapse in May […]
So I have this plan to move away without warning anyone and just live a new life for a little while. I’m 18 right now, I graduated in June but I’m still living at home and going to a community college nearby. I can not stand my parents, but I tolerate them because they provide me with a home and food. I’ve never been a typical rebellious teenager, I’ve always been a really “good girl.†I got really good grades in high school, I don’t drink or smoke or do drugs, I had a lot of friends in high school, I played sports, teachers and […]
I was just going through my deviantart account and saw that my recent (or like 5 days) ex had a new picture he drew posted. I checked it out, told him I liked it…then I went through some of his old pictures…and came across all of the pictures drawn of me and him…all the moments he caught with his art…they’re beautiful…I started crying a little bit…it’s so…goddamn…painful…I need to go cut now…