Im all ok thanks all of you Ill try my best to keep going. And try to change things for my one good not for others, Â I will continue my book in wattpad. To get distracted in something. Hugs and kisses to all.
My kind of suicide isn’t suicide at all, as funny as that may sound.
The way I see it is that I don’t have to take my own life, life will take it for me. All I have to do is live. I mean, even if I get stricken with cancer I can be thankful I won’t live to an old age where I’m helpless, just get it over with. That’s worth the pain I think. I’ve seen an old friend die of cancer, in comparison to other ways one can go out, it didn’t seem that bad the way it hit him quick. And […]
if we stopped cutting would we be able to be us? if we continued to cut and we went to far would people miss us? if we went mute would people still be there for us? most of us cant stop the cutting and some dont want to but can you really blame us for being us we dont moan at you if we dont like what you do but its who we are now no matter what
Another small sleep night. Woke up, still dark, stare at computer, somehow forget everything. Yeah, right… I can’t even dream a little.
I also hate cloudy wheather, I feel heavier.
I think I’m going slightly mad…
I remember stuff from the past, Like at 17-19 when I was with too much tension I would just go for very long walks walking extremely fast.
One day I was just walking back and forth in my room at parent’s and I couldn’t take it. It’s all pain, it’s all pain. So sneaked out when they were asleep and roamed the dark streets.
Sometimes I walked miles to a club when a certain […]
Love is after us 24/7 . But in the end ,you ended up in Hell…if
you make that fault mistake ………………… but mine you ,you’ll
 still be in Love. I am Human but I bleed just like everyone
else. When she has her trying days, I listened to the rocks and
stones that come my way. Â Is this Love? Love is who you,
Surrender too. Whoever ,you think you where. That’s when
ever thing changes, when Love, comes knocking on your
door. Love blinded you to a Fault, it Trust everything. It has
Faith in honor, without question. Believing is to convince
your mind, that the heart in your soul is safe  ,and that […]
I see life’s travel before my eyes, and many years have passed an I am still hear. Locked always, in this shell of a thing. Roaming about this world I greave for them all not to see. Yet all they have to do is look in the mirror and fine it ,for them selves. From their own book in hand do they judge ,and server the one they fear most. Yet they never learn the gift that they where given. Choice: to be able to change, the fate of man instead of following the wheel. Sometime I start to think they are not who they […]
Please I ask of thee, but listen to me and tell me ,if Iam mad. Life around us is in toil and pain ,sleep is short. Leaving me alone, to pounder the ifs and what’s ,where and why. when is my mine ever  going to see peace in my waking day . Was I born this way? to walk amuck the stranger an imperfect human. Mocking my way, and wondering. who is that strange person.  Nor do I look and ask the same, from my point of view. Long Days and Nights have past.  has it gone ,what is it that I am supposed to […]
all and all im happy right now and thats all that counts .Lifes to short to not make your self happy in life  . when it all boils down to it ..i did it my way .and i cant complain because i got everything i wished for and prayed for.. thats how i know theRe is a God  and He must love me .no one else does …the only thing i can tell you is God will give  you what you  pray for  ..but the key in praying to HIM  is use detail   God im lonley  ..so then God gives […]
why won’t the pain in my heart and mind  stop
why must i live in this shell and suffer the days and nights .
why does god keep me lock in this shell to suffer so much
why have i never found love in this life
how can i say good bye to my  only child without hurting her
how can i make them see that I’ve run out of time
why is it so hard to dream the dream of peace
why is it so hard to let go, all i wanted in this world is to  be loved
i am i selfish to want to end this life
. how can i […]
So the guy I posted about earlier? Yeah, he likes me. He also likes this other girl we work with. He wanted to know if I’d be offended if he took her and I out, at separate times, just to see who he liked more. At first I didn’t care, but now I can’t help but think that the other girl is probably better. She’s closer to his age, 21, and she most likely knows what she’s doing when it comes to dating. I don’t want to screw things up anymore. To top it all off, this has just made me even more depressed.
Part of my brain says I should just take a leap of faith and talk to someone. Talk about the cutting, the suicide attempts. But I’m just feeling all the “what if’s”. I hope I can find the courage before it’s too late. I don’t want to die, but I don’t always want to live either.
Just got back from food and dismal film with a friend… more of a distraction than anything but.. i did manage to catch the trailer for the new Spike Jonze film and it kicked me in the.. socially broken nether regions.
Somehow it seemed bleak and uplifting all at once. Check it out on youtube and throw out your thoughts.. It’s called HER. I know i identify with films where the characters are fractured.. but i’m curious if anyone else finds it intriguing..
as I sit here deep in thought. Am i something you forgot? I am lonely, I am cold. These feelings surrounding me are getting old. I wonder every day, if your love is here to stay. only God knows why so I sit here and I pray. hoping one day this pain will go away I feel torn I feel used I feel broken and abused my heart can’t take this anymore broken shattered on the floor. I am here you are there why can’t you just finally care you say you love me say its true but this love fires turning blue. broken […]
The suicidal spirit remains connected with the body,allowing it to feel whatever happens to the body,such as cold,rottenness,the bites of worms
Dear parents: Im sorry Im not yhe best daughter, and Im just a disapointment to you guys. A good of nothing.
Dear brother and sister; Im sorry Im not the best good big sister, that Im just a bother, that I cant help you.
Dear Friends; Im sorry to make you guys suffer, that I left out and never talk to you. And leaving you.
Dear love; Â Im sorry Im not that preatty, that You couldnt love me I understand who can love someone like me. I wont be in your way.
Dear people; Im sorry for being a weirdow, a freak, for not being normal like every one […]
Right from the start
When we first met
I knew you were trouble
Yes,I do regret
The little brat was deceived
Did he do anything?
NO
You pulled him down
His spirit’s crying
In the dark now
So sad,he can put a teardrop in the devil’s eye
Everything just keeps braiking, I cant stand up anymore, I feel like daing inside, I cant anymore.
I told my sister that I want to die before I’m 16 and she said I REALLY need to get therapy and maybe me being in a MENTAL INSTITUTION would actually HELP me. All my sister ever does is undermine my problems. And thinks I don’t really want to kill myself