Since I last hurt myself. I’ve been forcing myself to try and stay strong and not do it again. I almost did yesterday, but I willed myself through it.
I had a spiritual experience the other day that… Well it scared me. What I saw. I am a Pagan who has fallen out of practice but am trying to pick myself up again through it. I’ve gone through these types of experiences before, but this one in particular really opened my eyes. At the local New Age shop, they have a cot in the back with a selenite grid underneath it with a bunch of […]
who is the alpha man here on sp?
I’m so ready to be done with it. I’ve got my setup just waiting for me to go peacefully into the quiet dark. It calls to me every night. This feeling in my chest physically hurts me and my brain is simply exhausted. But my plan calls on me to wait.
If I do it right, I’ll help a lot of people in the process. Until December, it’s just building up my savings so I’ll have something worthwhile to leave behind and cover my expenses. I don’t think I’ll be able to wait until then. I’m trying to be considerate to those who have to clean […]
So, I started working at KingSoopers recently, and it’s not bad. Then I learned that my friend got hired there. He was flirting with me, and I him. But he doesn’t know that I cut. He doesn’t know that I have to everyday before work. He doesn’t know that I was suicidal, or that I still am. I suck at dating, no relationship has ever worked out, the guy always becomes an ass. But, I like him. Do I tell him that I like him? Do I tell him about the cuts? Should I just shut up and bag my groceries and get the job […]
Fear, Frustration, Anger and Heart Break changes that.
Have you ever been so excited and so alive with one person yet for no apparent reason they just leave and everything changes? One day you guys are doing so much and are so happy that you can’t leave that person behind, because you think that there isn’t anyone as loving like them or enjoy each other’s company? You’ve done almost everything together and feels like nobody can ever replace them? Then one day, you both wake up. They leave you behind for other people. They lie; make excuses. Then they or another person tells you that they never met […]
And so the end becomes the beginning becomes the end and so forth…The cycle has to STOP! Please make it stop!
I quit cutting for the longest time, but now it’s all I think about. If I tell the people who call themselves my friends, they’ll freak. I don’t know what to do right now. Talk to my friends and risk it, or…be alone…
I feel like crap. Im tired, and I am suicidal. Like anyone would care.
Wrote suicide notes last night. I go up n down. I can hardly relate to what I fell like or think when im in the opposite. I just dont give a fuck anymore. I wanna just get on with dying.
I want to share the change that happened in me. Maybe my words will mean something to someone. I met some people that shared some ideas with me and their words hit me where i needed it. These were those words:
I am not my thoughts, feelings or states, those are the things that are just passing through me. I can choose if i want to relate to them. I am the one that is aware of the thoughts and feeling,s, so they are not a part of me. They are the clouds and i am the sky. I exist even without any of […]
the other post is getting heavier to load so i have forced to creat this one:)
Here are some proofs for god’s none existence.they are logical but they work 90% depending no your open mindness
“Antinatalism Cartoon”
I’m not an engish native speaker but this is the only bullshit that i was able to write in english some years ago. Better to post here for a fleeting moment than let it die completely with me. Part of a planned and bigger story (never to happen, no point wahtsoever).
Astarte was walking up a green flowery hill at the end of a calming and peaceful day to deliver an important message to one of the leaders of the region.
The little colored birds that were happily flying around were able to enjoy watching her simple, but gentle, village clothes, and […]
Fuck it.
Fuck myself, fuck everything.
I’m in a perpetual emotional tilt. Dazed and confused. Head spinning.
Legs shaking. Feel like smashing stuff.
I would be a calm guy, I would. I am that guy. But have no choice anymore. I’m losing it.
There’s no choice. It all bullshit. Its in me and from the past. Its fatum.
Hey, I believed in peace and justice and all that. But seriously, if I had power, before abolishing this type of financial system, etc, I would FUCKING WHIP everybody first!
Just fucking burn, Just fucking burn.
All nonsense. I have nothing, nothing. Worthy men have died younger than me, so what the fuck? Why do I fucking […]
I sometimes do. life of a self-destructive man.
So there’s this girl that I really like and who is really pretty, but I’ve never actually talked to her before.. She seems like perfect and I see her around my school but I’m scared to talk to her… The only time i could is in between classes.. But what am i suppose to say without making things weird and awkward? :/ I was thinking about asking her to do a survey for my physiology class or something.. But I honestly don’t know. Any help?
some people describe pain as physical when youve just ran a marthon and your legs are hurting but everyone has emotional but some more the ones that are mean cause us cutters to cut even more, no they dont force you to cut your self but the feel of cutting when someone says horrible things to you is when you feel you must cut its them who bring cutters to life not just the person but the words they speak some may be true but most the time its fake they just want to see some other person upset and in pain. it dont matter […]
I’m writing a story inspired by a dream I had, when I’m finished I will post it. The general story line is about a girl that falls in love with the devil, death, evil, or whatever you feel like calling him. I haven’t decided on his name however I am tempted to go with the ever classic, Lucifer. Thoughts?
THE ANIMA SERIES
Look the channel up on YouTube if you want.
***They are Christian messages***
I just wanted to let that be known, I’m not shoving religion down anyones throat, I just wanted to share some videos I found to be very uplifting. Even if your not Christian some of these messages are still really good to hear.
I also don’t care if anyone is offended by this, if anyone is then they have a problem because there is much worse in the world today.
I don’t know if anyone remembers my last post, titled numb. Basically i explained what happens when i go numb. I cut off all feeling, i am in a haze, it takes so much energy to pull out for 30 min. so i can act okay. But i sink deeper and deeper until i cut, and then i’m fine again. i haven’t cut since March, and I’ve been okay. Until now. I’m starting to fall again, and i don’t know why. The only person i can talk to is my friend Skye, because she the only person i know and trust at my new school. […]