feeling completely hopeless and terrified.

recently i haven’t been feeling suicidal but the future just looks so bleak

today all i could see was black i just idk it’s happened before i mean i never thought i would be here in the first place so i guess it will be okay but i just really don’t know how right now

becauseeeee i’m going to be homeless by the end of may… and i really need to figure that out. it’s just a scary prospect i guess.

sorry, just ranting.

also i’m really tired of people being so fucking stupid.

but also had a pretty good day today.

lol

i need help

I cant function don’t want to eat don’t want to sleep  i am nothing but bear bones I am 21 years old now have seen much worse times in my life such as being teased growing up for being overweight after HS i moved out of state far away ran away from my issues like I always did turned to drinking and doing drugs to cope I am now in a shitty place once again some say my life is well if only they knew some say taking ones life is selfish i think otherwise i am 5-7 and 130 pounds I am going to […]

Im so done with life and all the nothingness shit it has to offer.So im out on thursday.I dont really agree or disagree with suicide.Im a little scared but i figure fear is a natural part of death.If i wasnt scared i wouldnt be human.
I got test results for my heart that landed me in the er weekend of my birthday.Guess what they found?Nothing! normally i wouldnt be bothered by this but im in pain a lot and im a bit tired of this.doctors trying to make me out to be some type of liar or crazy ass *****.fuck them all.ill self medicate and […]

I remember the last time I wrote in this site. (Sorry for english mistakes , brasilian here) I wasn´t even on meds yet. I didn´t realize how fucking dificult things could become. And they did. Now my parents “Know”. And I say” know” beaucse , despite what 3 doctors say to them , they still think what I have it´s just a fase , or it´s hormonal , or even that I´m making up all this crap just as an excuse for beeing in a crappy mood and getting bad grades at school. The pills don´t make any diference , and the pain is justgettig […]

i had to abandon my two best friends 4 months ago. we were three and we had that kind of friendship that we couldn’t stay all day without seeing each other. we were brothers.

my friendship had started with them and along with this friendship i started to do cocaine. we all did cocaine. we were three cokeheads. three junkies. but fuck! we were three mothercuking brothers, and that no one can deny.

but when i was with those brothers, i forget about my real ones. my real brothers. my brother, my sister and my parents. i forgot my family. i and i’m sorry for that, for […]

Well, I know this site is to mainly post about your feelings, but here is a little help to you who don’t feel too good 🙂 Go To Google. Type in Pandacorns. Click Images. And enjoy. You guys, there is so much to live for, like looking at pandacorns on the internet c: Remember I love you! If you wanna talk just like, comment lol 😉

There’s this guy I want to talk to…He sits on my bus. It’s the only place I ever see him. I don’t see him talking a lot, and he sits alone all the time, like me. I want so badly to start a conversation with him… I know it will be easier once we figure out what to talk about…

I’ve only ever asked his name and complimented him on a cool shirt he had on. I only know that he likes Alice in wonderland, and that’s about it… I just want to know what to ask him… or what to say… every time I try, […]

What really happens if you call the suicide hotline? I probably won’t call, but I’m curious to see what would happen if I chickened out of it. Do they call the police, your parents, what? I want to know everything. Yeah, I like to learn about everything

And what would the police do.

we live in a horrible world. i am looking at photos from the kenyan mall attack. such horror. how can people be so heartless? more and more i am convinced that the negative outways the positive in this world.

i actually thought id do well this year. i actually thought id have a good year. i actually thought id have a fresh start. i was very wrong. im just shutting down. so now ill do what he wants. i know how wrong he is. ill give in to everything. ill let the abuse keep coming. and once it causes permanent damage (or more permanent damage) ill at least know that i stuck through it and i will be then be sure what kind of a person he is. and maybe he’ll feel bad about himself then. maybe thats what i need. day 2 of […]

i dont have enough reason to commit suicide so im trying to make everyone hate me and hopefully they will tell me that im better off dead, haha  hmm how bout you? do you have enough reason to commit suicide??

How does one get over thinking about how hurt their children, family, and friends will be after they commit suicide? I keep telling myself I can’t continue to feel this way for them. I’ve gotten help, but I just can’t make my brain think what I want it to. I’m still despondent. Everyone knows how I feel, but it’s been so long that I try to hide it so I don’t burden them further. I decide I have to do it, I can’t think of another way out, but I think of my 19 year old daughter crying for me, and my mother who has […]

I don’t think I can sleep this night. Anywun wanna talk? :- D

I don’t know how others manage to talk or act normally

Make it work

The world is better topsy-turvy.

Things have turned out way different than I ever thought they would or could.  I’m not saying they are good or bad, just different. I don’t want it to be like this. I don’t want to hurt others but it seems that either way it will happen. I’m told things will get “better” but what exactly does that mean? I can’t keep going on like this everyday. I wish things would have been different but they aren’t, because it’s me. Me. That is the problem. I want my kids to be happy, I want him to be happy and I can’t be here if I […]

I need my mommy.

Part of me hates her for killing herself, but the other part of me desperately wants her back.

Maybe if the little girl I once was grew up with her mother, I’d be okay.

Why’d she leave me? I cry about her every night.

She chose to leave me. She won’t be at my graduation, she won’t be at my wedding, she won’t be here when I have my first child.

She’s gone and I’ll never get her back.

So for a while now i’ve been questioning my sexuality. everyone calls me a lesbian, dyke, and many other names. i don’t even know if i like guys now. i’ve been fighting with myself telling myself don’t prove them right you are straight but every guy i’ve dated hasn’t seemed like anything more than friends to me. this question needs an answer soon because i cant keep questioning myself. anyone who has been in this situation, and has it figured out could you please give me some advice .

…when the only thing keeping you going is the thought of seeing your puppy again in December. Honestly, I think I’d end it today if I could stop thinking about my loving little bundle of joy back home. Most of the time, I think she’s the only one who really loves me. But alas, I’m torn. See puppy and live another terrible 3 months or die now never seeing her again? Decisions, decisions…