I don’t know. I feel awkward writing this but I always feel better just to get things out. Lately stuff is all bothering me and I don’t know why I keep feeling so sad because my problems are so insignificant and I feel so guilty feeling bad because I shouldn’t. I try so so hard to do everything everyone asks and keep a smile on my face and help out but then when I ask something no one ever returns the favor. We do this thing where we all buy each other presents on their birthdays to make them even more special and I have to […]

A while back my aunt took me to a therapist, for my depression.She then took me to a lady who prescribed medication!God, I was so freaking mad, still am a bit peeved.Since hen my depression and anorexia have only gotten worse,I have stated previously that nothing will help but she didn’t listen and now its progressed to a stage where I’m slowly turning into a vegetable (medical term).Also you might not think this but I’m 13 and my life has completely fallen to pieces.If you want to know the full story then look at my other posts but even then you wont know the full […]

seeing you and being with you is like being on drugs

getting high

and then when your gone everything before the high

my life

problems

worries

depression

sadness

it all comes back in a big crash

Earlier in the week it hit me hard, after a meaningful day the day before, only to wake up the next day feeling the same like yesterday never happened. i wanted to die. those thoughts crept back so fast. i think your the only thing keeping me here. i think…

This is my first post here, and I’m just going to throw everything out there to get it all off my chest. It’s going to be pretty long – probably more of a reference for me to grab specific things from later on rather than deserving a full read from the get-go.

I’ve been unhappy for as long as I can remember – have always been one of the outcasts, even in elementary school. Since quitting high school in grade 11 because of a bullshit education system that manufactures cloned drones, I’ve managed to “deal with life” for the past decade. Without an education, I managed […]

It has been 3 years with no cutting and today was my downfall. I never forgot how great the relief is that I get from cutting, but I tried to put it behind me and failed. I’ll admit this time I was scared, the cut was deeper than in the past and I had almost forgotten what to do. I don’t know what prompted me to cut again, maybe it was having to deal with some innate skeletons from my past that got stirred up in a counseling session, or maybe it was that my life is spiraling out of control. […]

Everything happens for a reason…

You saw this for a reason… If you’re looking for a sign not to kill yourself tonight,

Here it is.

You are worth it, don’t waste all the talent &  beauty you have <3

Can Anyone Please Tell Me What The Point Of Life Is?

I am in Junior High, but I already feel like that I have no point in life. I believe that my friends don’t like me, no one will even notice that I’m gone. I had no gifts or cards except from two of my friends that I am very thankful for. Yet, as I had hoped people would remember, nobody did, but just yesterday, a day after my birthday, I already heard one of my friends, that I thought was one of my close friends, planning something for someone else’s birthday, and their birthday is […]

People are constantly asking what did they do? REALLY!!! PEOPLE IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU!!! Is it just me or do others see it as well? Sorry for yelling that! Were we that mean? Why are you mad at me? What did I do? People just stop for a second and realize that hello my life and my emotions are not centered around you. Ok?

Sorry just venting, another way that they try to guilt you into feeling better. I just want to be left alone get it?

Had a friend take me to a couple of doctor appts. the other day, and they had […]

it seems like i was not ment to do anything. like i have no real futrue. like i do nothing for everybody around me. i am to blame for everything i have no real use. then what am i doing here. so many people have said they loved me, but never have they really showed it. they have done so many hurtful things to me and it has always been ok. someone close to me said to just sweep it under the rug . but i cant . i cant forget, and when its ok for them to do it, i cant forgive. this has […]

After a bad broke down today my day was suprising good … hope my night is good too(please be good)

1000 feet 900 feet going down dont know what to do losing controle no that happund along time ago 500 feet my life is like this all day evrey day i whant to hane on but its harder and harder to do down down down bang crunch the sond of shering metel and bolts brake berst bons braking blood floowing its so hard if i gust had a bath and sleept rest finly all the wate on me gon for good floting…………..

Iv suffered with depression my hole life, but if you knew my story maybe you would understand?

I have tried suicide 3 times in my life. first was wen i was 12 it was a O.D attempt. second i was 14 and it was the closet Ive came to death, it again was a o.d. and lastly i was 16 it again was a another overdose.  i guess i just thought going to sleep was the most painless way to go. just falling asleep and dieing just sounded so peaceful to me.

sense the day i was born my parents were addicted to drugs. first it was […]

With all my procrastination expunged from my very soul, desire diminished to the very bare requirements unable to muster effort for the simplest of menial corporeal tasks, all hope reduced to infinitesimal proportions the time must finally be at hand. A calm settles the spirit like never before, 2 roads perceived in all probable possibility one swift the other swifter a 3rd emerges to laminate potential by diminishing ones self once more to perpetuate the lucid mare that besieges me still.

Nay be the rallying cry to concede to pestilence not of my own, condemning my struggle to the inevitable I idolize in my sullen ways. […]

I’m so alone. I’m constantly trying to find a reason to stay, a talent, a person who cares, or even a sign. I’m willing to believe anything at this point. There’s something wrong with me, I know there is. I feel as if I’m a compulsive liar who is just hungry for attention. At this point, I don’t want attention. I don’t want pity. I don’t have the problems everyone always assumes you have  to be sad about and I think that’s why I feel like this sadness is all in my head. I have every reason to be happy they say, even though to […]

The strangest and weirdest thing about recovery is comparing who you are now to who you were before. It is also one of the most amazing and yet bitter-sweet and almost heartbreaking things.

About a year ago, the suicidal thoughts fully took hold of me, they’d been there for a year or maybe more, but I’d been preoccupied with various other things and hadn’t really given the idea of taking my own life very much thought. But for whatever reason, last March I became completely filled with a desire to fall off the face of this earth. To begin with, it was a case of wanting […]

I’m so angry all the time. Every time I see a person I feel like punching them in the face. I think it’s my minds way of coping with feeling left out and alone. Instead of being sad and feeling miserable, I’m mad and violent. I don’t think it’s a good solution. One of these days I’m going to snap, and hurt someone. Someone innocent. A good person. Someone who isn’t like me.

I wasn’t always like this. Once, I was happy. I was friendly.
But now.. I’m angry. Just so angry.

I honestly did not expect this I had a really bad day yesterday really bad I ended up smoking and drinking again normally I would be mad at myself. I promised my boyfriend I would quit because he thinks it not a good way to cope I know he’s right. I just sometimes don’t care because I hurt really not an excuse just my reasoning. I full of bad ideas but people always tell me I act like there is nothing to lose. I have one thing I could lose and came very close to last night I’m pretty sure he’s the only thing keeping me alive […]

If you could save yourself,
you could save us all.
Go on living, prove us wrong.
Your leap of faith could be a well-timed smile.
Survival never goes out of style.

A simple rule: every day be sure you wake.

It sounds so like school or work, like a task something you have to do! I guess I wouldn’t be here if it was something I didn’t feel I had to do, right? So bravo for aptly naming this sight, lol. Thank you!

Why someone might ask, well maybe, at least for me it is just deserts. To me my whole existence has been a search for significance a reason to exist, and ultimately all I come up with is the ability to push people away thinking if I can remain unattached that I will never hurt. If I can remain aloof and unfeeling no […]

There’s so much pain on this website. I wonder what would happen if we all left our lives to live on some island together, start anew. Would our situations improve? Would many of us find we no longer dream of killing ourselves, surrounded by people who understand? Or would our society end up very similar to this one? Put a bunch of people together, even those that seem similar, and you’re still going to have some friction.

I feel like I’ve been whiny lately. Sorry if I’m annoying. I should probably post less. I do listen to what […]