i was talking to a frend i told her about my pane and how i whantid to go shes been helping me with this for a bit now but today she said if i reley coudent stand the loneyness and hert aney more i she’d let me go what dos that meen dos she whant me to go has she had anuf of my ranting and crying she was the only one who lisind to my trubuls and she was the only one who cared for me now she says this ? i dont know what to do and people wont care if im gon and it […]

i think i told one too many pains medz but im still in pain …….i keep black out now gonna try and sleep off the pain bye loves

Oh, look. Just to make my day a bit better. My mom comes into my room, insults me because I “slept for 30 minutes longer” and then she goes on about how I’m “ungrateful”.

Mom, you’re a disgusting *****. A disgusting person, your mind is horrid and your actions are in vain. I regret knowing/acknowledging you as my mother. As well as my sister, you have not only allowed my biological father to beat me, but to allow him to visit me, knowing he had molested me and the cursed words he had told me in my room as I played “Naruto”, will never leave my […]

I don’t know why, but in the mornings I can somehow bear to look at me. Even smile. I forget the torments. I pull myself up from the bed, get ready and to my office.
For everyone, home is the place to get relief, some solace. My journey from office back to these four walls is my life’s way of telling me, “n you thought today would be better?”

A life where you just wish atleast one single thing to come around. Something which will not kick you in the face when all you can do is look into it with deep hopeful eyes. Somewhere, back […]

I know people care. I know that I’m not completely useless, although a lot of the time I am. I know that every single one of you would not expect this from me. As I sit here making this note, as hard as it is and as much as I want to, I can’t cry. I feel nothing right now. I am not scared by my potential actions; I feel no regret in giving myself what I believe to be what I deserve. It is not complete emptiness, though. I feel loneliness, depression, and an overall feeling of shit. Shit for every time I have […]

I seriously hate goodbyes. All they ever do is make people cry. One thing I love, though, is Black Veil Brides. So, I was sick and bored, so I watched an interview of Andy Biersack. He said a lot of stuff about bullying, and it made me feel a lot better. So, yeah, Garrett’s gone. He moved last week. I guess it’s okay. I miss him, though. He was a good friend. A lot of my friends kept saying that he was a jerk and stuff, but I told them to shut up. Man, I’m sick of going up and down. I mean, people tell […]

Deadline. It’s a funny word, is it not?  Almost two days have passed since March 18th, 2013: my deadline. The day when I told myself that something had to change, something great had to take place, or I’d end it all. It’s strange to me now: all that time, I had told myself I would do this, and then when the day finally came… I hoped out. Not chickened out, not choked out, hoped out. My mind is afflicted and warped to always believe that things could get better, even when the events out my life have proven that to be painfully false more often […]

Well i have had these thoughts as everyone else here and have been to all the doctors. Thay say take this pill or what was your childhood like or you must have been molested and are blocking it out.

Well i was allowed to play sport and feed and clothed, schooled in canada and dont recall being molested.

I just want to know why i think the only way out is to end it and my life is good really just the thinking is rotten.

I have a supportive wife 2 houses car fulltime job all the stuff anyone could want but still the thoughts come that im […]

I think I hate myself… no wait, I know I hate myself.
I’m just sick of everything. I’m sick of the pressure to try and fit in, to try and have friends, to look good so people talk to me.
I’m sick of being a people pleaser, of hurting other people.
I’m such a f*cking *****.
I wish i could stop thinking straight. I wish I could let go of my obsessions. I wish I could run away and be alone forever. I wish I could slash up every inch of my body. Anything to get away from this f*cked sense of reality I’ve learned […]

This is quite simple, there isn’t much to explain but ill write how i feel, it doesn’t really matter cause thats not the point of this post.
Tbh, i really hate myself, my body, my face, the way i am, im 21 and full regrets. i wanted to live my life in a certain way but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn’t and i still cant change it, i ended up being lonely and i started thinking about suicide.
my question: When you think about commiting suicide, what are you thinking ? regreting h0w you lived your life ? about the ppl you […]

I dont expect anyone to understand. Im putting a shotgun in my mouth tonight. Im intoxicated and want to wish the world, anyone who cares the best. I wish you never feel the pain of eternal singleness ans the lonely, gut wrenching useless feeling that comes with it. God im actually happy. Freedom at last. Good luck to anyone who reads this. I failed.

Hey guys,

Those of you who know me, know that I’m still a 32 year old virgin trying to find me a proper relationship. My last date was just brutal, but I met a new girl and I’ve been communicating with her via talk and texting and I will be driving down on Saturday to visit her.

I have a really good feeling that it will work this time and I will soon finally have a girlfriend. We have so much in common and want the same things out of life. She wants to wait until we get married before making love so I guess I will […]

You’ve watched your baby girl grow up.
You’ve been there for her as life experiences knocked her over hundreds of times.
You’ve been there for her successes, and failures.
For her strongest and weakest moments.
But now she’s in high school.
She keeps things from you now.
Things like she lost her virginity to a senior.
She got pregnant and miscarried before the second month was over.
She started smoking and cutting herself.
She writes down that she hates you and her mother for never being able to understand in her journal, which she left in the hallway when she went to see her friends.

I was raped.

Only 11 years old.

I didn’t know what was happening. Nor had I ever gotten purposely drunk or smoked pot before.

I thought that was what love was…

After that, I became sex crazed. By the end of high school I was known as the local slut that was passed around. Guess whats what happens when you let men fuck you and pass you on to their friends like a piece of meat. But I didn’t care. Why? Because I was punishing myself. I felt that I deserved to relive my rape because I wasn’t happy with myself. And why shouldn’t I be happy? I have an incredible […]

tomorrow will mark one week since my 2nd suicide attempt. it’s weird to walk around knowing that no one else knew anything about it or suspected it. to them i’m some bubbly and happy person-it’s weird and leaves me with this eery feeling of loneliness

I feel as if I’m never enough .. :/ I have no clue why I feel this.. I don’t know how to open up to him.. he’s the sweetest thing.. but i feel as if i don’t treat him right! Gahhh! :'(

you are right wendy.  after some thought i realize that is what i am doing. i am pushing away my husband, my family, friends, and now the both of you. but the hurt and the anger were real. this disturbs me. despite current appearances i am not prone to hysterics. and that was exactly what i was after leaving the office. i don’t know where that came from. though i suspect hormones had a role to play. it freaks me out to know that my subconscious mind is in a way conspiring against me. that leads me to believe that my suicide if not imminent […]

So, two days ago, I almost killed myself. or, I almost intended to. I put a plastic garbage bag over my head (lavender scented, nonetheless) and tightened the opening around my neck. I then breathed calmy in and out, until I started running out of air. To clarify, I wasn’t attempting suicide. I know that, if I tried that way, I’d just pass out, not die. I just wanted to see how it would go, would it be a peaceful way to go? Anyway, when I started to run out of air, I almost didn’t let go. I wanted to die so much for a […]

I almost ended my life after my drama performance.
I was stage manager, so I wasn’t an actor, like all of my friends. Already I was alone.
All I heard at the lunch table was how much fun it was, and how I should join drama. In it, no one talked to me, and I felt alone all the time. I felt abandoned.

Now these same friends say that I can talk to them about anything. But, in class they rarly talk to me, and I feel alone. I have SAD, and I need my friends now. They are seniors, and are leaving next year, and […]

It’s almost the end.
It’s almost my time to go.
I’ve done all I could.
I’ve lived all I can.
The end is now.
I’ve accomplished all I can.
just a little deeper.
And just a little longer.
And soon I’ll be gone.