It doesn’t hurt to grow up poor. It doesn’t hurt when your daughter is born with medical problems. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your father died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your step-father died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for duty. It doesn’t hurt having your dog put down. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your grandmother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your “other” mother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your uncle died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for others. It doesn’t hurt watching others destroy what you built. It […]

I am tired of studying, I’m tired of working, paying my bills, doing the dishes, crossing the street. I am tired of my morning coffee. I am tired of making small talk while watching your fake face smiling at me. I’m tired of all the mundane little inconveniences of being alive… I am tired of doing the laundry, reading books, brushing my hair, I am tired of caring, smiling, pretending and all the other symptoms of life…. my ears are going deaf listing to your lies and my lies, my eyes are going blind from you betrayals and my betrayals. Stop,,, I want it all […]

While one day falls into another, I only hope that this is a dream.

I’m too old for these feelings. I’m in university, doing an incredibly difficult course which I spent my whole schooling trying to get into. I chose this. I am crippled by social anxiety, so I chose to live alone. I am simultaneously envious of people who can be themselves, surrounded by friends. I chose to be like this, every decision pushing me further inside my head. I am painfully crammed inside my own skull.

Surely I’ll wake up, a happy, normal, real version of myself. Surely I’ll be able to think beyond myself.

I […]

Hello, I’ve been lurking around this site for quite awhile now. Obsessively reading every post. I know I spelled serotonin in my username wrong, unfortunate really. Anyways, it’s 4:43 am where I live and I can’t sleep so I decided to post my experience with suicide attempts. I am not good with dates so it will be a unspecific measurement like a year ago or in January. I will be going into specific suicide techniques so…spoiler alert.

When I was young everything was easy for me. Sports, I was a natural, school was easy never had […]

hey im new at this im gonna be straight foward now im not good at spelling or punctuation so just stay with me

ive always had the feeling of committing suicide but always ignored it,till just recently when a ex student from our school killed himself.i dont why or what but from him doing it i got a sense that it was socially accepted some how…

so i started daydreaming about where and when to do it what my parents would say or do.how life around me would be and it hit me no one would really care eveyrone would just get on with life.but recently my […]

I hate my kind.

I hate their faces, their ignorant smiles. I’ve grown to hate them indisciminatly. What the fuck is wrong with those people? Hollow minds inside puppets made to walk with rotten strings. Let yourself fall into the bliss of mindless simplicity. Almost life a hivemind, brainwashed and seemingly happy with it.

Go with the crowd or fall with the trash.

I do not claim to be a saint nor have my 21 years of existence given me enough experience in the way of life, but is it just me or everything seems so twisted. What happened to sincerity, kindness, generosity? All those concepts are almost […]

So lately I’ve been feeling like I’m useless..it feels like everything I do is not good enough. I just want to leave this world. I think It would be better without me here. I need someone to talk to but I have a hard time opening up to people. Last time I opened up to someone they showed me why I don’t open up to people. I’m tired of crying every night. I just want to end the pain. I’m hurt, depressed, angry. I just want it to all go away. Everything is tooo much. I’m 15 in highschool and im failing all my […]

i’ve just taken 10 aleves and i’m finishing up my note before i take any more. hopefully tonight will work

The only thing really stopping me from ending my life is my father and the potential pain and sorrow he will feel. I’m trying to understand how a child’s death could be seen as such a tragedy in the eyes of parents. Yes, of course, the emotional aspesct of it; “Oh, my son/daughter is gone, ohh after all that time, ohh I’ll never see them again!” Hysterics aside, what do they lose? A child takes without saying thank you, the feel entitled to everything, they grow and leave, tossing the parents aside like nothing. This, to me, doesn’t seem right at all. How can something that has […]

I dont have much money but Ineed a nitrate pill or two. The ones they give you if the er things yor haveing a heart attack.. Its important. I Dont have insurance and I am super low… Anyone have a nitrate I could have or two to buy who may have some??? Thanks so much.

http://www.messagefrommasters.com/Shiva-Shakti/osho_on_committing_suicide.htm

I hate my life. This schoolyear was the worst. I went out with a girl who dumped me, went back with her ex-boyfriend, dumped him tried to get me back, went out with my best friend, had sex with my bestfriend, dumped him to go back with her ex-boyfriend again, had sex with him countless times, and recently tried to work things out with me again. I told her to fuck off and leave me alone you slut. And now that she doesnt have my attention shes trying again with her original ex-boyfriend. I feel so used and insecure about everything. I cant sleep, ive […]

So far can wounded walk alone

with tattered thoughts in air

and sharp pain on bare bone ,

yet they never seem to care

soft and muffled do they moan

their lives not so fair

shoes withered and merely there

in life’s sad unfit poem

(by me)

I have so much to say and have not the skills to express them. I want to leave but will I harm those who may love me?

My fiance left me last week , i’m sick,  I have no real friends, I have extreme  fobias . I feel like im becoming a goraphobic I am afraid of cars and driving loud sounds give me panic attacks… I just dont know

life asked death “why is it that everyone loves me but hates you?” death replied saying “because you are the beautiful lie and i am the painful truth.”

personally i like death beter than life because i hate lies. and he’s more friendly to those who meat him.

I was starting to feel better and working on getting myself straight. But fuck it these people I call friends they dont care. Its funny its obvious im a drunken mess and struggling but no one seems to care. Why should I even bother to start a conversation about how I feel when its obvious they dont care. Humans are fucking sad pitiful creatures its all always me me me. I always give 100 percent of myself to people when they need, no matter how minimal there bullshit is. Well see idk how this weekend is going to unfold, but I really cant take much more shit. If I do it […]

I’m the biggest loser in the world.I don’t even get out of my room.I’m scared of people.I really have to kill myself.

I think my life is a cruel joke.  I just want it all to end.  Want the pain to go away.  No one is around to hear me cry.  No one cares.  I get mad every time I take a breath.  Wish I’d just die already.

I’m just not sure right now.. I don’t know what to do.. I’m just playing my endless role of sitting in front of a computer screen melting my eyes, laying in bed at night and crying myself to sleep, melting my brain at school and giving into the fake delusions of my mind, giving in so bad that I talk to myself. My chest heaves in and rattles hard when I breathe, thats what they say. Breathe, but breathing makes you not cry. breathing makes you feel worse.

Why cant I stop crying….

I managed to buy the barbiturates I need to kill myself. I’ve researched this a lot. You’ll see if you check my other comments.

You can only get them in places like the country I’m now in.

I just need to overcome that final hurdle and take them. I hope I manage it soon.

Life is like a psychotic, abusive partner. It’ll use any trick, any guilt trip, anything it can to stop you killing yourself. But killing myself is the only way I can escape the nightmare which is living.

I won’t leave this country alive.

I searched for a chat room just to talk to someone about killing myself. There doesn’t seem to be such a thing. I’m really not suicidal, I don’t want to kill myself, I just want to die. About 3 weeks ago I was with my dad when he died. It was the worst experience of my life, yet a beautiful one. He was almost 98 yrs. old and went very peacefully, at the end. And, it’s really brought back all my wishes for death. I was hospitalized once and diagnosed suicidal. But, I had no clear plan even then, I just wanted to die. My […]