To be honest all I want to do right now is die, and I feel this way every time things get hard for me because everything around me starts to get affected like my health,school work,etc. Right now I’m not doing too well in school I guess because  I’m feeling worse and when I see a bad grade I just feel like I don’t care because everything isn’t alright silly I know but I am doing work just not as much effort. I remember searching for ways to treat my depression everything to the symptoms   and  saying I’d deal with it on my own […]

I am glad I found this site. I am relieved at being able to express my feelings here. It’s bad that so many people are in such deep pain, like me… But it is good to know that people here understand this deadly pain. You are special to me. You who keep this site running. You who offer to talk personally. Especially you on the Chat whom I have a special place in my heart. Thank you for the happiness. I truly love you for you.

Stay Real

thes songs help me throw time hope that you find the same cofort that i have

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADgCYjAtRUY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3PSX6ogpFY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW88_nkEw9A

love you xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCnf2IFglDs

He left me for a 16 year old. together for 5 years. been through everything imaginable. He asked if I would be okay dating him if he was with her too. He wants two girlfriends. says he can’t lose me but he’s going to pursue her. He even shows me the sweet texts they send each other.

I said I would be okay with it.
I would be the other girl. as long as he paid more attention to me.
It’s been two days and he hasn’t called or returned my texts. So I’m done now. I was not in the mental state to be […]

no matter how hard i try to succeed i ALWAYS fail. I revise solidly then when the grades come up? FAIL making me slip into suicide thoughts deeper…what if i just ended my life..how easy would it be ? death…although they say death is easy..that seems a pretty good way to go in contrast to this tough life- never ending cycle of hardwork and disappointment compared to being forever asleep..no pain..no tears.

3 loves lost and im going on

3 times  blown away by hating eye

cos girls thay travel in packs like wolves

and like wolves that snap at all that come nere

and unless some one can magically here

the sownd of braking hearts

and a boy is dumpt not just byu the girl but by the pack

dont get me wong im not puting a wole sex down

cos nice girls travel alone

thay set them selfs aside

from all nere by

ter for not picking up the ill tids

of hatrid and crultey

gosip and banter

are some of the simtoms to date

but its all a liy of smies as a nice boy gos biy

so dont fall for the […]

I enjoy reading the conversations and posts people put up. This is one big community. Even though we’re “depressed” and “suicidal” we’re still able to make a nice family. Even though something else brought us together, we’re still intertwined.

YOU ARE A MISTAKE!!!
YOU ARE A MISTAKE!!
YOU ARE A FAT, STUPID, UGLY GIRL!!
WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE IN GODS NAME??
JUST DIE!!
THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU, FUCKING *****!!

The voice in my head. That evil devil. That little devil that’s inside me, that’s part of me. It won’t go away, it’s so much stronger than me. She tells me what to do and what not to do, she let me think evil things. It may ound like she is a little monster and yes, she is, but she is also the thing that makes me feel safer, better and […]

die die they say for me to die.

no I’m better than that. you can’t make me.

they say cry, cry emo freak cry.

I cry when I want to, I don’t want to cry for you.

Bleed. bleed emo girl bleed.

I already am…
*********************I wonder what death is like… i feel it would be eternal sleep, that what we humans classify as heaven and hell would translate into eternal dreaming and eternal nightmares….. hmmm

Over the years of my life people have trusted me with their secrets. Their own stories. Just holding them can put stress on a person, so I decided to share them with whoever is willing to read. I will not use names nor describe the physival apearance of that person.

First, a friend of mine had told me that her mother had been raped during the summer of 2012. She told me it was by someone very close and she is still going to therapy. Although she is recovering from the whole experience, she is making progress. She was not afraid of speaking up (which is […]

Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul, it was worth it, for having been allowed to walk where I’ve walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it, and above.

Hi, I dont know who to talk to or who to open up to because my pain is my pain. And no one can ease that pain. I sit here and I think that the people that said they love me or care for me but where are they now. It’s true, I’m going to be alone and no one to cry to or tell me we are going to get through this together. W hy have these men come into my life and took that one thing I CHERISHED. Therevare times whereby I just want to find that one blade that will end my […]

False praise kills.  I am told often that I am talented blah, blah blah.  I can’t believe this.  To do so would be arrogant.  My inner circle does tell the truth.  Significant other does not touch me because I am too fat for his liking.  I was a size 00 when we met.  I now wear a 2.  He says he can only love me if I am thin and blonde.  He says I am stupid.  I’m in a doctoral program because at one time I wanted to prove to him that I was not as stupid as he says I am.    There are […]

everyday when i wake up, i feel my heart is being squeezed , it hurts so much that i cant take it anymore, just want to go back to sleep and never wake up. i feel so empty all the time

i have 2 rifles and a shotgun leaning against the wall, when i wake up i feel hurt and i stare at death against the wall, until im ready to accept it, i want to live and see the future, but i just cant stand feeling this way any longer, im afraid of waking up tomarrow, afraid that ill land a rifle round in my […]

since i can remember i have never been happy. i have amazing parents. my father is a state bridge inspector and my mother is a high school history teacher. my dad is older, from an older time and can be a real hardass sometimes, i know he always means well. my mom on the other hand is my hero, the best person i have ever known hands down. i couldnt count the number of people i have met through out the years that have told me, most of the time random people, that have told me that my mom has changed their lives. i have […]

My boyfriend wants to kill himself he hates me because ive lied and been shit and he is homeless hates his family doesn’t want to go home wants to die my parents don’t know him and hate him its long distance we are on the phone

I need help. WHAT DO I DO?! WHAT DO I SAY.

Starting to care less about what p eople think of me. I don’t know what to write my thoughts are so jumbled I want to write though. I need to get my thoughts out. so basically I am wasting my life I am too Pathetic to push myself, I have no current interest in looking for a new job, there’s no way I’m going to be able to go back to school in the fall, I don’t like the idea of being the oldest one there, I really dont. So I’m not gonna do it . I really don’t give a shit about not graduating, […]