It’s incredible to think that I have to stop here. But the pain is overwhelming. I am afraid of being alone. Too afraid. I have no family. I was abandoned by my parents when I was 6 and I never saw them again. Right now I have a GF who abuses me psychologically, she is a drug addict who cheats on me and I cannot leave her because I am too scared of being alone. Loneliness is my handicap and I can’t take it anymore. I have no self respect to say NO and way too much resentment towards her to be able to solve […]
I’m tired of  the cycle, of making plans that get me no where and right now I just hate that I’m at the lowest point of depression I can’t even seem to get out of it. I’m so tired of everything
I’m not sure I have a grasp on reality. The only things  I know are my feelings and its hard to see events objectively.
I know that I was in love, I mean real unconditional love…for 10 years. The sound of his voice soothed my soul and being around him made me happy. i know how i felt about him terrified me.   And I know he went away. I know I was on medication for years afterward because I dreamed about him every night and somewhere deep down inside me my soul groaned endlessly – like a demon in hell. The suffering was unbearable and no comfort came. I […]
Catch your breath darlin,
catch your breath,
Cause you’ll need it when you feel down.
Catch your breath darlin’ catch your breath,
cause you’ll need it when your six feet underground
you’ll need to store up for death….
so darlin hold your breath
hold your footing, and don’t you move.
hold your footiing, and just be you.
Hold your footing and don’t you move,
hold your footing,
when your in a mood.
Hold your footing, hold your footing,
even when they start pushing.
Don’t loose your edge darlin’
Don’t loose your edge.
Hold it when your on the ledge.
Keep strong darlin,
now you keep strong.
I walked last night on the cliffs, facing the Pacific Ocean. Alone. It was very late; nearly 2am. There was a mild mist coming from the ocean. The ocean before me was so vast, that you can’t but still your mind and feel the nothingness. Had I taken a boat, and sailed straight forward (as the crow flies), I would have possibly ended up in Queensland.
Then you equate the ocean with the eternity. Of course, it’s only a fallacy, as nothing is eternal. One day even this vast ocean will come to its end. But it’s a melancholic thought nonetheless, when humans do that […]
where is he????????????????????????????????????????????
What bullying is
Bullying is a judger. It sometimes judges. It is always wrong. It is never right. Sometimes bullied victims will see in the mirror how bullies described them. But they don’t know that they are beautiful no matter what. They have gotten to the point where they forget that bullies are just like virus on a computer. Viruses make us get frustrated. Bullies do too. It is not true what bullies say. If they say to go and die you think it is what you need to do. You don’t need to. Just ignore them or stand up for yourself even if have to […]
Every one of us should watch, “Mind of a Rampage Killer“.
It discus’s the science behind what has happened to many of us. I should buy the CD and watch it about 10 times. What happens in me? I cry. I feel that I want to escape being inside of me, and it’s very common.
Im 18, in November of 2012 I was in a bad car accident. I had a head on collision with a tree, as a result i mangled my leg and have and face several surgeries and a year and half of recovery. This isnt the first time ive felt like ending it all im a ex drug and alcohol abuser. After my accident I thought id have people there for me, but the people I call friends have forgotten bout me. Mostly because I cant and don’t want to party anymore, sometimes I wish I had just died that night. Recently ive also found out the sports I love That I can no longer play. I just feel lost im dabbling in drugs and alcohol again just […]
Im just tired…Tired of living…tired of being a failure. I don’t know what to do anymore. I really don’t. I feel like im drowning in a black pool…I just want to end it…end all the pain and misery im feeling. They label me…They don’t know…they just assume…They’re not with me while im in my room…crying…hating myself…slicing up my wrists… The person they see has been gone for a while…They can’t see it but im dying inside…It hurts really bad. Im getting tired…of everything…Everywhere i turn theres critics…messing me up…criticising me for what i lack…happiness…fun…whatever that stuff use to mean anyway…im not happy…i just feel….dead….walking down […]
I want to look nice–really nice on Monday. Maybe not, like, wear a dress, ’cause it’s way too cold. But I still want to be noticed. I’m hoping that I’ll have Health next week, instead of P.E. If I do, then I can dress up easily. Â But my friend just text me saying that we don’t, so I guess I’ll just have to improvise. I don’t want to wear makeup, or if I do, not very much. Any ways to impress a guy with the way you look (Without looking like a slut) I just like to see the look on people’s faces when I […]
I got back my results today …almost cried in class because I knew they would kill me …go home my dad just keeps screaming at my ….your a fucking idiot you will never amount to anything …..your disgrace, all i say is hes right because he is .Go to school crying … so no one talks to me all day..Go home this time my moms saying i am selfish ugly ***** for causing all this trouble ….im just too exhusted with the fighting to fight back .. im just done with everything .I use to not understnd why they hted me .. but i do […]
I hurt. For a long time. The world fell apart… it collapsed beneath my feet. Things took a horrible turn, and I thought it was over. My pain would be gone. My hurt. My life. It would all be gone. And it didn’t feel bad about it, in fact it felt amazing. Then, I stopped myself. And things got better. I tried harder. I made myself feel better. But when you think about it, your pain is always going to be there. It’ll never leave you. That’s exactly what happened. It all came crashing back.
I’ve helped my friends. They’ve all had thoughts too. But, I […]
Hi all. I’m James from New Jersey. I’m 27, and my younger brother Henry (who was 25) killed himself last year. His suicide brought untold grief into my heart, but after a week or so I re-adjusted my view on his chosen action, as every time I’d think of him, I’d have this sensation of indescribable happiness and peace. And I realised that if he’s happy, then I should be happy for him too.
A few weeks ago I felt I can’t cope with the personal problems in my life, and I started planning my own suicide in earnest. I was going to execute my […]
I was bullied at school, wasn’t overly popular at college, only had a few ‘friends’ at Uni, got married but felt distanced at the wedding reception as though I didn’t fit in and now doing a masters degree to try and get a better job- and I don’t ‘fit’ anywhere.
I just feel so lonely all the time. I am a genuinely nice person, I want to help other people and be there for them.. but I guess it’s because i’m trying to feel that back and it never comes.
I have always felt like I have never belonged to this world, like […]
This was such a busy week for me. Thank God it’s Friday and I can finally relax. Hope everyone has a nice weekend.
I just can do this any longer.Had enough of everything.Can somebody kill me?Because if i try to do that on my own ,i will fail again,because thats what i am.FAILURE.
The few times I do get these positive, confident, happy normal feelings they dont last long, the anxious , worrying , undeserving, guilt feelings creep in and over power the good feelings. NO matter what i think to try to deflect them they still hang around.
What can I do. Its not fair. They robb me of my joy in life. I ALWAYS FEEL SOO GUILTY. ITS one of the worst feelings ever. How can i get rid of these awful feelings for good? I want to be able to get myself to believe that i am deservong of these good feelings !!!! Please help.
my email is open for anyone, any age, gender, sexuality, raice, ANYBODY and awlays will be : selseyc@gmail.com
HELPPPP Â MEEEE!;'(