I can’t get myself out,  I mean it’s not like I enjoy being here but I feel too far gone I mean I don’t even know if it’s worth it for me to come out of my depression anymore because it’s not like I’ll be any better maybe that’s my depression talking because all my memories are tainted everything is tainted.. I just want to be better

Just started cutting myself lastnight, cant help but feel worthless. Hate myself for not being able to be a better person.

Hey all, this is my frist post and could possibly be my last, im really unsure at this point what is going to happen. Im 21 years old and male so i guess ill just be another part of a common demographic when it comes down to it but hey, at least i got on paper somehow. Ive been dealing with depression for about 5 and a half years now. I hate myself, i hate that i cant stop how i feel about the world, i hate that i cant change that im essentially a total failure and waste. I dropped out of college about […]

Im 17 years old. Ive been thinking about suicide on and off since I was in the 6th grade. Im a teen mom. My mother and I have never really gotten along but its been particularly bad since I had my baby. She yells at me for not cleaning the house to.her expectations but mind you I have a brother that doesnt do ANYTHING. He wont clean his room do his schoolwork or chores. I have As and Bs and I clean the whole house by myself and take ccare of a baby.,she.supports me but complains about how she never has moneyhow I never
do […]

Been a while since I’ve logged into this website. How’s everyone?

I wasn’t well last time I entered this website. Times went one, and here I am today. I wouldn’t say that I have completely change from who I was when I first discovered this page, but I can say that I have improved a lot from the person I once was.

Today, I just want to revisit some old posts that I had up in the past, and laugh at some of the most unpleasant things I said. With that, I should apologize to myself for reacting such way toward myself at that time.

Anyway, without further […]

I don’t know what to do.

The only way I seem to feel slightly happy is intoxicated. And even then, it’s not that I’m really happy so much as I don’t care about my problems. I tried to give up drinking and smoking weed last july, but about two weeks ago I caved. Apparently the only time people seem to enjoy my company is when I’m messed up on something. A few days ago, a couple guys who I hadn’t seen in a while showed up at my house, and convinced me to get high. I was happy to have anyone around, so it wasn’t difficult for them to persuade me. […]

Day 5 of knowing that he’s expecting a baby with another girl.
Not doing well..cuts drawn on my legs..no more room to hide.
Quit my new job because I couldnt handle trying to be cheerful.
Sheets bloody..pillow wet.
Three tears fell to my keyboard..odd. I didnt know I was crying…or that I was holding my breath.
Food turns to ash in my mouth and water tastes like gasoline.
I wish that I could rip my heart out of my chest that it would not hurt when I thought of him accidently.
This is not some stupid teenage love..I’ll be 20 this year. Had I not […]

Goodnight everyone. I hope you all  can  get a good night’s sleep tonight and dream of a day when things will be better.  Stay strong and please don’t give up hope. 🙂

I try and I try but nothing change  It is a constant cuticle of tears,cutting, and lie  I can’t escape no matter how hard I try  I feel so lost and confused I don’t know hat to do. I am scared help me

im 18 years old. i get mad easily . i cut myself i’ve thought of suicide a lot of times. but i remember hell is eternal this pain is just temporary. my mom is very strict . she calls me worthless , bastard, ***** and all sorts of names. today she called me a failure. i cry a lot but i have no one to talk to since god is ignoring me. i try to do good but i guess its not working …never slept with any guy. most guys i talk to treat me like shit. they act like i’m worthless . i have […]

I look in the mirror, I say, loser, freak, fa&&ot, piece of $h¿t.  I say, you SUCK!  YOU’RE NOTHING!

Every time. every…. time….

Sometimes I can say things that are nicer, kind of over top, or after.  But I can’t not hear the hurtful words.

People said these things all through junior high and high school.  One was even a Policeman’s son.  Nobody did anything  Not even when I was hospitalized twice for trying to kill myself.  I’d just say I was fine, and nobody batted an eyelash to it.

It gets worse from there…. long story short, I’m in my thirties now,  I still hear their words…but it’s […]

All hope was lost
and she was so young
the sun stopped shining
when she was gone.
No one heard her cries
No one heard her pleas.
No one heard any of her painful screams.
And all hope was lost
in the middle of the night
when she decided
to have a first flight.
she spread her wings and stood on a perch.
11 stories up,
she flew like a bird.
And when she landed she went up up up.
God welcomed her with a hug.
And her story to this day is told quite simply…
Cause all hope was lost,
in the middle of […]

I’m 17 years old and one of my sisters is 19. We are completely opposite and have both made choices which have determined our futures.

When she was 17 she was kicked out of our house. Prior to this she had done drugs, drank, partied, snuck out, gotten pregnant and lost the baby more than once, got arrested, stole, lied, cheated, and failed most of her classes. It was rough living with her, I always thought things would be better without her, but after she was no longer allowed in our family I missed her more than anything. Not who she was when she left, […]

Where does it all go ?

Ive been looking for you for some time……in a way ive found you…..putting myself in situations I know will be to my detriment. ……im almost there…..im at your doorstep…..I could stop taking my hiv medication and you could take me……you are my resolve. My blood is poisonous. ….im less than half of who I used to be…..I dont see my face in the mirror anymore…..my apartment reflects my psyche……its a mess…..things strewn all about……even now when I wake up I still feel asleep…..I want out of this….I have life insurance my mother will get the full 500, 862 $ of it……27 years to long….I will […]

For those of you who know me, I’ve been gone for a while. A few months or something…

Well, there have been improvements and destruction! i haven’t really felt depressed or sad in a long ass time. I’ve no idea how long. I think this is dissociation. Or something like that… I’ll explain a little more. Um… Whenever I think about Niel, the man who literally turned my life around and gave me hope in everything I gave up on, I immediately think about something else. It’s like my brain won’t let me think about him anymore. Mostly because… whenever I remembered him, even if it’s […]

Okay for the past year i’ve been feeling alone and depressed. I have shared with others but I feel like it doesnt help at all. In ninth grade my bestfriend betrayed me and took all my close friends away.  After that i find it hard to trust anyone. I’m 5’9 or 5’10 girl and weigh 116 and i know that looks random in the middle but i also has its own problem.Im constently made fun of  because of that.  I’m talkedabout when i dont even do anything to those people. Im practically an outcast in my own group of friends. Honestly theseare only the little […]

I don’t know anyone on this page. I don’t know what your going through or why you feel you have no way out. All I have to say is you can make it! I attempted suicide when I was 19 and I have boarder lined attempted 3 times this past year. Everyday I wake up and its on my mind. I wonder if this life is worth it or if I should just pull the trigger and say to hell with life and living! I don’t know if anyone will listen to what I’m about to say or if anyone has listened so far but […]

I AM A 44 YR OLD MALE WHO IN 1986 MADE THE MISTAKE BEING A PASSENGER IN A CAR THAT IMPACTED A TREE AT A ESTIMATED 80 MPH.THE TREE HIT THE 77 MONZA DIRECTLY IN THE PASSENGERS DOOR PUSHING MY FEMUR THR MY HIP,PELVIS AND BLADDER.I WOKE A WEEK LATER IN THE HOSPITAL.IN THE FOLLOWING YEARS THE DAMAGE TO MY HIP REQUIRED MULTIPAL SURGERIES AND FINALLY HAD TO BE PINNED.DURING THIS PINNING OPERATION THE DOCTOR PUT ONE OF THE PINS TO FAR AND IT SEVERED THE RIGHT FEMERAL ARTERY,I WAS CLOSED ON THE OPERATING TABLE THE DOCTOR HAVING NO KNOWLEDGE HE HAD DONE THIS.HOURS LATER […]