Recorded in 2009, still valid to this day:

A Message From Babaji – World Financial Crisis

🙂

At age 5, she wants to be a ballerina.

At age 8, she wants to be an astronaut.

At age 10, she wants to be a teacher.

At age 13, she wants to be a doctor.

At age 16, she wants to be dead.

Boot777 asked me what my main problems are that cause my suicidal thoughts. I decided to make a post of it, so here it is. Well, there isn’t really one problem you can point at that causes the suicidal thoughts. Actually, there are a lot of things that cause them. I am not telling you all of them, because probably I’ll forget one or two and that’s going to be bored, so I’m going to tell the important one’s (I guess). I’ve been bullied from my fourth untill now. The worst part was at age of 11, 12 I guess. I was at elemntary school […]

I am tired of where I am I plaster a fake smile, but deep down inside, im so insecure, lost and hurt I cannot release the pain that eats me up inside, I cannot tell anyone, but once I leave they will see the pain hidden without me, death is my only peace I need too leave I have tried but nothing is working out, I just cant do this life sucks ik they told us that it is not fair at a young age but … I have tried so hard I quit.. it is over and all the bad memories have stuck in […]

God it feels good to be able to talk about this.My parents won’t talk about it and when i even try to go into that area they just look at me like I just said that I want to kill grandpa. I feel suffocated because I was trying to run away from my mistakes and now I made the biggest one and couldn’t escape again.I feel so bad. They’ve taken me to psychiatrists and they asked me “Would you do it again?” and I said of course not but sometimes I feel the urge. Like sometimes my father look upon me because he’s an architect and I’m studying […]

Here’s the you tube link to Babaji, I finally got it right 😉

enjoy!

haidakhan babaji mahavatar

I think I found the perfect song for some on SP, its called “can’t stand losing you” by The Police :D:D:D

Can’t stand losing you

Has anyone here heard of emotional freedom techniques (EFT)? Its totally free and works to dissolve all emotional blocks in the body. Please give it a chance:

EFT

i feel like im running out of options.

my mom was killed when i was 1, and my dads a dick who wants nothing to do with me or my little bro. my stepmother has been abusive to me my whole life, and even though ive been living away from her for years now im still afraid of her and she still tries torun my life.

for the past 2 years ive been so depressed and anxious i can barely get out of bed, let alone function like a regular fucking person. im going to loose my job at payless because i just plum cant talk to […]

I miss my son. He left me and this world 37 weeks ago…in exactly 3 minutes. It’s how long he took to cook in my belly…37 weeks. I was so impatient for him to arrive, and the time I had with him was too short…just 19 and half years. I miss him so much. Words can’t do the job of describing the intense pain I feel, the loneliness, the regret, the loss. It is truly unbearable. Please do not take your life. I promise you that it will destroy the lives of the people you leave behind. Please don’t do it.

Happiness never lasts forever. why do I want to live if you never get to live a life where you can trust the good feeling that you have to stick around?

I know your pain is different from mine,

i may ve lost an eye to a step father,

yours might just be a missing cat.

and his may be a broken nose,

i may have lost a family member,and yours may be too hard to remember..

It may be love or a broken heart

or did the pain pile up with the years?..

They all left. but you re not alone…we all feel pain like our minds are clones….

Em.i guess we nid sum rhythm up in here so i employd that..not like i am a vet or anything

Is what my ex best friend just now said to me when I told her what I was doing. If I had any doubts before they are gone now. I can not wait for  feb 1st so I can be done with this.

Last night I tried to kill myself VSV exit bag. I had reserched for months and though I had studied it enough to avoid any fumbles.
I was wrong.
Not only did O wale i[ 10 hours later, but it seems I even moved a location from the chair to the bed, and even tucked myself in. I don’t remember ANY of this.
What am I doing wrong? Can someone point me in the right direction?
Could it be I didin’t take a strong enough dose of sleeping pills? If so, that was the only prescribed pills I had. Can this work with over the […]

If I don’t want to suffer, and death will end my suffering, why do I so loathe the idea of dying?  Is this what Hamlet’s famous monologue is about–his confusion on why people choose to live when life brings so much suffering?

So, I’m not entirely sure what I hope to gain from this, maybe closure? I don’t know. Not even sure how this would give me closure, or what I need it for…

If I had to describe a depressed person, I doubt I would use me. Someone with a job, caring family, good friends, hobbies. Hell even my dog is great. Yet there is just all the small things. My job is lacking, and kinda crappy. My family… for lack of a better phrase, doesn’t understand me. My friends are funny, good to be around, but I wouldn’t say that any bonds are really there. It […]

Life and luck is such a pain in the ass at times.  Here I am having lived with only 26 cents to my name and a few packs of Raman Noodles for the past 4 days.

I am really tired of surviving on noodles!!!!

Today I received my socal security check and the first thing I did was to buy some groceries and pay my past due room rent. Things have been tough for the last week; I could have really used some money for food.

Today,  I was folding a pair of shorts that I had not used 5 months and felt a lump in the pocket: The […]

The drugs that I have been on for the past year are Effexor, Wellbutrin and Lamictal. The doctor told me they were antidepressants however I was always depressed. The only problem was that I never felt fully cured or happy. During the day or when I was around anyone I would always put on a happy face and joke with everyone so no one could see my pain, depression and loneliness. Everyone thought I was  a happy-go-lucky guy. At times I almost convinced myself. What really made me realize that the Effexor and Wellbutrin were working to some extent was if I forgot to take […]

I noted a reply to one of my earlier posts that stated I was not actually talking about committing suicide immediately or maybe that was never my intent at all. To this I reply, if you were around on the Suicide Project six to twelve months ago you would not think that.  The only reason I did not finish the job was because I was evicted from my home of 20 years because I had lost my job and became broke very fast.
Prior to becoming homeless last April, I had my Final Exit all planned out and was only waiting for the best time…for me.

The […]

The weather is beautiful, either hemisphere.  I don’t understand, but there are many things I do not understand.

I’ve been in 4 armed robberies, and I won every time.  Why?  It would have been so much easier if I could have lost.

My best friend and I were both going for a big bucks cab ride, and I won, I got the $200 ride.  The consolation prize was a fellow with a 9mm in his pocket who simply wanted to become a member of the Aryan Brotherhood, and needed to commit a crime to get into prison so he could join.  A little 16 year old kid, […]

I do not know really how long I have been coming here to this website. The archive only goes back to Tuesday Feb 1st, 2011.. I have read a good lot here, I have  read a lot of peoples stories. Some are very interesting, some are rather not. I may have posted things here, not quite clear. I don’t think so.

I am a 38 year old man. I turn 39 this May.  I doubt I will make it to 40 regardless. I first started in therapy when I was 20 or so, I was still in the Navy then, it was a Navy psychiatrist. I […]

Sometimes when I look at life
I wonder how I got this far
All I see is that god shed His amazing grace on me
There’s no other way
I could have survived this place
But by myy Lord showing me the way
Through this sin filled world
That we have inhabited as our temporary place
Until we get to see our Father’s face
On that bright and shiny day
When we get to go home to stay