Do you know that other people can influence your thoughts of suicide and your actions . Did you know that other people that use mental telepathy are “voices” that people may here. I heard voices as a child, that told me to kill myself and to do , not so good things. Some things I acted upon and others I didn’t, but now I realize that I was influenced by an outside source to hate myself, and others.

Hey y’all, I don’t really know how to begin this so I guess I’ll try and start from, well, the beginning–if I can find it.  I guess it all started when I was a sophomore in high school.  I started developing feelings of hopelessness.  Some of my friends seemed like they didn’t like me any more and I became very paranoid that they were plotting behind my back and planning to stab me in the back.  People don’t expect a girl like me to be depressed and develop suicidal tendencies.  I graduated top of my class from high school, got a scholarship to college, am […]

Suicide is the only constant in my life. It’s always been the thing that made sense. Living is torment and volatile and there’s only confusion. Wanting to die is the only thing I’ve ever been sure of. I just need a gun and a hotel room with a view. These things should be attainable right? Why the fuck can’t I get them? I’d love for someone to break into my house right now and kill me.

sometimes id love to just bang my head against the kitchen table till i bleed to death.You see im caught between this road of all for killing myself yet slightly afraid.Not Afraid of whatll happen to me but to everyone else.My families is bad but not that bad. Im afraid by living im making my life worse and that by dying ill make there lives worse. I told my mom recently after my admission to the hospital that i felt everyone that theyd be better off if i was dead. But my mom told me how everyone acted when i was away at the hospital […]

Uhm hai.. Well I guess I should start with yes. I’ve attempted suicide. Many times. I’ve never actually talked to anyone about it, or anything’s that’s been happening. I don’t have the strength to say it to someone’s face. But the one time I did. I finally told someone… Exactly 2 weeks and 4 days ago, he committed suicide.. And I was blamed by his family for it. I wasn’t allowed to go to his funeral or say my good byes. This was honestly the love of my life.. We’ve been dating for almost 4 years. We planned our future together and everything.. But it […]

Im so confused beyond belief..

I dont Know how to feel about this situation..sad?angry?hurt?

I feel like i dont want to talk to anyone  not even go to school..

I don’t want to face anyone without you telling me what is wrong..

you were the person i looked forward to seeing..

I messaged you..you dont answer..

you’ve been gone for ages,and im worried..

you see the messages but you dont reply..

I want to know if you’re okay..why you’ve been missing school..

I dont know if you have the same feelings i do for you..but others are telling me you do..

but how can i know when your gone..when you have seemed to disappear..

I guess […]

Have you been abandoned by everyone you know?

Do you feel depressed, angry, alone, or scared?

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From the age of around 2-4 years old i was abused for the first time, my old babysitters son grinded against me when he was hard and i tried to get away from him but being a child he was much stronger and would not allow it. When i went to kindergarten another boy would try to touch me and i pleaded with him to stop but it didn’t end till the year was over and he had violated other girls as well. When i was five years old i begged GOD to kill me everyday. It got to the point where i wrapped a bad […]

Everyone says don’t worry you’ll get over this.
I can go back to being 3 or 4, asking God to die, to escape.
Why should someone that young want to die?
They say the pain is temporary.
But then, isn’t life only temporary?
That means that pain could last you an entire lifetime.
But then, it’s only temporary, right?

I am surrounded by millions, but yet I am all alone in this world. Nobody cares about me…or loves me…or gives a crap if I am here or not. Even my own family rejects me even though I have done nothing wrong. I try so desperately to fit in…to do what I think others will like and pay attention to. Yet they ignore me…they are too busy judging me to get to know me. I spend my weekends alone. I spend every waking second alone. It is not worth it to me. None of it. I will never be ok. My life is nothing. I […]

Three years.

Three years of hell.

Three years of being turned on by people I trusted.

Three years of crying for help.

Three years of no one helping me.

Three years of no life.

Three years of depression.

Three years of getting scars that will stay with me forever.

Three years of pain.

Three years of everyone hating me.

Two years since then.

Two years of friends.

Two years of scars.

Two years of happiness.

One month of depression.

One month of indescribable pain.

One month of thinking I’m bipolar.

One month of having to act normal.

One month of hiding my feelings.

One month of  pretending to be happy.

i had to put my cat down today, he was fourteen years old.

hes gone. im in my bed right now, but he isnt hear. hes always here, right by my head. but hes not here.

who is going to sleep on my head now?

because hes not hear.

my shadow has left,

to rainbow bridgd

It isn’t so much that I want to die, its just that I can’t imagine continuing as I am. So you are forced to make a choice, WHICH PAIN would you prefer?

I’ve “been there/done that” as far as what to do on my own to “get better”. The truth is nothing has helped but now it is exacerbated by the fact that I am getting so much older now, a non-productive, useless, meaningless life that is if anything a “pain” to my few relatives I have. So I don’t buy that “not fair to them” theory people are always […]

I hate how people jokingly say that they are going to kill themselves over something. The phrase, “I want to kill myself” or “you should just go kill yourself” comes up so often in normal day conversations around me, well, it makes me sick to my stomach. When I went to go see Les Miserables in the theatre, after the one main character killed himself, someone started a slow clap. And you know what was worse? Other people joined in. I want to yell at those people.

Do you understand how offensive that is to me? Do you know how long I’ve considered killing myself? Do you know my friend killed […]