The only reason I didn’t end it all was because I thought you’d miss me..I think I was wrong..I may need to rethink my options.

You saved my life once but now you’re the one helping me to end it..

Hey everybody, I’m new here…..kind of.  Anyways I felt like I wanted to share my story, but I have no idea where to start or how to start. So I’m just going to ramble on and on until I feel like it should end.

I guess I was always suicidal.  I’ve always thought of suicide as a little girl and its almost an obsession now.  I remember trying to commit suicide when I was six or seven, but not strong enough to push the steak knife into the skin of my neck.  Such a weak little girl I was.  Anyways about two years ago is when […]

See I say I would love to kill myself but the truth is that there are a few things I’m afraid of. One being I won’t be able to ever really ‘hug’ him in real life, considering I’ve never met him in person before. Another being no one will miss me. Of course I wouldn’t know anyways but it’s still a fear. The only reason I didn’t really kill myself (when I was going through worst times) was because I thought he’d miss me. Right now I’m not sure if he would..

The truth is that I don’t think I could ever really kill myself. I […]

I sat at my desk in school wondering what it would be like if I stabbed myself through the heart with that guys extremely sharp pencil. Death by writing utensil. A thought that drew a smile on my face.
Ugh that stupid noise. A noise that interrupted the only thought that made me smile today.
I concentrate a bit harder, but it is only clear to me that the sound comes from the front of class. I look up.
“RRrrruhh. RRraaayy.”
My brain starts to work in time to hear the teacher call my name for, what I could tell by her tone was, the fifth time.
“Rain! Is […]

I sit there in the cafeteria

He sits on the floor he’s talking i cant hear him, my visions bluring black around the edges

I’m brought back because of an intense pain from my hand, my ex boyfriend yet again had bit me, i know he just flirting… that he’s only using me..

I smile laughing telling him it doesnt hurt, he doesnt realise he saved me from another embaressing seizure, he smiles biting my harder i ignore it typing on the computer with my left hand as i try to complete a school project. He lets go and we sit their for a while. I feel him bite […]

I rather die now rather then later, i have thought of death since i was 5 or so and thought of ways to go to do the deed, i am 24 now . I was married for 3 years to my highschool sweetheart. I work at a hospital and love the place. I am mostly known as a bright , outgoing happy go lucky girl, but I much rather die. There is this pain that I am always surrendered to, a feeling of almost bliss when I surrender that yes its my time to die. I feel calm and the pain seems to make since […]

Anyone seen Wreck-It-Ralph?

Well, the title’s inspired by it.

Finals are next week. I’m barely keeping up in one class. That class has the E. The rest of them are B’s or higher. Science has never interested me much, and the only time it did was in Biology. That was the only class I liked. And then Accelarated Chemistry this year just tore my mind to shreds.

Just trying to understand the very basics of Chemistry will send me into a suicidal-crying-fit. Now it’s finals, and I still don’t understand 90% of it. I tried to get out of it before, but I couldn’t. So I just tried […]

At this very moment I would love to go missing and never turn up. I would just love to be away. Away from my life. I’ll admit that my life isn’t so bad. Everything is very solid and secure and I am involved in college and church. Maybe I long for more? Maybe, just maybe I don’t want anything for myself. Absolutely nothing. I would love for life to stop at this very moment. No more time, and no more space. I just want to enter the abyss.

IM A FUCKIN FAILURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I have aspergers sydrome and i thought i would off myself before i reached 18 for many reasons invloling social life, future prospects and depression. I “practises” killing myself by starvation…i would not eat for a few days and that how i decided i would go. After around 24hours i lose the sense of hunger and my movements become sluggish, whether or not i can do it in the end i dont know like resisting tempation.

i didnt do it because i got into the second year of my college course, but i still have seveer depression. now i am saying to myself i will do […]

title/author

1.scars/Cheryl Rainfield

2.willow/Julia Hoban

3.crosses/shelley stoehr

4.cut/nancy alcorn

5.stitched/marissa carmey

6.thirteen reasons why/jay asher

7.crying scarlet tears/sophie scott

8.scars that  wound, scars that heal/jan kern

9.sleeveless/joi brozek

10.stranger in my skin/alysa phillips

I used to have thoughts of hiding under a car tire, and waiting for a family member to back up. I just couldn’t go through with it. Through the past 11 years of my life I’ve been completely miserable. There has been a series of unfortunate events that lead me to where I am today: living in a shitty apartment alone, no friends, hardly talk to family, education going down the toilet, and terrible insomnia. I’ve been doing some research on suicide methods, and I want to go via ********. But, it seems like there are many failed attempts. Anyone have any advice?

At the moment I’ve got my music blasting and I am doing art work im totally distracted From thinking about my troubles but I’m worried that as soon as I go to bed ill start thinking again or that ill have a anxiety attack again. I probably won’t be able to sleep tonight. Does anyone suffer from anxiety and if yes what is it personally like for you?

And as my pain settled over feeling lost, I started talking to my friend again. And I guess I got a bit pissed. I made her believe she hurt me 🙁 It hurt her and now she hates me xs
Why can’t I just deal with people the way I should ? Why do I always have to push away the people I care about. I’m a horrible person. I’m a horrible drunk, stoned, carving motherfuck. I hate myself. I hate myself. I hate myself!!! I deserve to die 🙁 and if it weren’t for other people I can’t betray like that, I would 🙁

so I graduated nursing school, met the man of my dreams, and now i have nothing. I can’t find a job, and dream man doesn’t want me. I have nothing. I feel so empty and alone. I fell in love with my best friend and now he won’t talk to me the way he used to, meaning not at all. and then I hear this song, before i die by papa roach. and it’s the lead singer saying that he was ready to kill himself because of all these reasons, and that his wife was leaving him and this was him saying that he loves […]

I know I’m only 14, but the thing is that all this stress and anger I have is too much, and I can’t cope with it. I’m only on the first year of my GCSEs, and I still have so much more to go through, but the thing is…

…It’s not going to get easier than this.

When people ask me about my future, I smile and say I’ll go to university, get a home and start a family. But really, I can’t see myself having a future. I’m trying to tell people that I will have a future, when I’m not even planning to have one. […]

I don’t exactly know how I came across this website. Maybe it’s because I’m considering suicide. Maybe because I’m tired of living. I’m tired of everything that is happening around me. I’m tired of disappointing the people close to me. I’m tired of hurting people. I’m tired of getting hurt. I’m tired of crying. And most importantly, I’m tired of myself.

I may be young to be considering committing suicide but that’s all I’ve been thinking about for the past few days. I’m tired of hurting the people I love. I’d rather be hurt than them. I want all the pain to come to me, all […]

So we sit together here, I squeeze your frozen hands bare,

The lights are gone from your eyes, Baby, I am willing to let go all my keys.

A dark twisting path lies at bay, I have lost my lantern to light your way.

You say it hurts to even swallow.

Tell me, why is even a smile so mellow?

Every night I kiss your forehead, with dreams of fairy tales to read.

I keep on telling myself to believe, “Yes, yes, tomorrow she will live.”

Rain covers all the lands with passion, my eyes have grown impatient.

You say it hurts to even swallow.

Tell me, will the future be a mere shadow?

Hold […]

You could blame me for your faults,you could hate me more than i,you cld tell your friends my problem,you cld hurt me all you want..the truth is that..I LL NEVER LEAVE MY WORLD ALONE..i will never give up on myself