I wont , I cant, I promised!….I wont cut again. I dont know why i held on to my blade after i had promised i wouldnt cut again. I cant stand it. I’m always alone at school. I can’t stop thinking about my dark past. It clouds my mind, the present with pain. I cant stay focused on the present because the present is dark and lonely. I have the blade in my hand constantly at school. Yet i somehow resist the temptation. But i feel like i will soon break again.

After good advice I am going to go to sleep and wake up with new eyes………after reading a lot of these shitty posts this site should be if you want to feel shitty come here.  I am not looking for attention or hope I will make up my own mind. I am melancholy but will prevail in my decision it is my life and I will have to deal with the everlasting life consequences if I go through that never ending despair in the end.  I am holding my breath and counting to 100 and keep realizing my life is a fary tale to some […]

I found out that Trey thinks I’m pretty and he likes me(:
Its stupid and all excited inside…
It was just a way better day then all this week. I smiled a few times. I’m just feeling really happy(:

Oh, and for those people that think this isn’t a site to make new friends, i completly disagree. Its great to talk to people who feel the same way you do. They can relate to how you feel(:

So, I’d really love to talk to some of you guys<3

I’ve never really shared before, or at least not like this, but I think it maybe time. I cannot look back on my life and think of a time when I was truly happy. I remember as a child wishing God would “take me home with him” I didn’t know why, but I felt that way all the time. I feel like the worst person on the planet, I should be grateful for what I do have. I know there are plenty of people worse off than I am, but for some reason I cannot shake the feeling I’ve had for all of my life. […]

it’s the same old routine day where m looking for a small hope in the change of my life. bt it never happend to me.i’ve looking since i know wat is good and wat is bad. but has never ever happened. and i always felt tat it’s for me to leave everybody.but my life say to me “ONE MORE CHANCE MATE,I WILL SHOW U WAT LIFE ALL ABOUT”.this is sentence which wakes me up every morning. thanq my life for leaving a small hope at the end every nite when i sleep.

I made the user name tonight only because this is exactly as long as I plan my miserable existance to last No mor sugar coating something that should of been taking care ago a long time ago.  When I was 21 I met a man who promised to take care of me and all he did over ten years was beat the living snot out of me and make me face the pathetic truth of my life I am nothing.  I escaped and have been happy for 11 years but the lurking doubt is always there, tonight when I needed friends and family since I […]

Is it possible that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel? Or am I just going to spiral more out of control? Could there possibly be a reason for me? Or am I just getting my hopes up to be crushed again? Maybe I am wanted here? But maybe I’m just background noise. I’m doing everything wrong, I don’t understand why I just can’t do anything right. One slip up and nobody will forget it. Maybe I should just get used to it?

last night i overdosed but i didn’t succeed. i ended up and the er with all kinds of people trying to talk to me. all i wanted was to just sleep, and drift away peacefully. i got to come home about 12:00 p.m. i slept all afternoon, i never made it back up it mhmr, so now they will be at my house at 9 in the morning. i am trying to decide if in the morning when they come if i should check myself into a facility to get help for these feelings or what i should do. my caseworker with cps already […]

Okay when I was 5  I lost judas he was the most important person to me,  my mother is horrible to me most the time,  as my best friend attempted suicide two weeks ago and luckily lived but recently he was in a knife fight and bled to his death.  I’m am bullied have like 5  friends, smoke, smoke weed and cut. Help. Me also yesterday I tried to over does on Tylenol and nothing gads happend yet

i have just cut for the first time. after i tried to kill myself a couple years ago i promise i wouldn’t do anything like that again. my depression has been wrapping around me tighter and tighter lately. i sat in my room crying when i remembered i had a pocket knife in my dresser. without hesitation i walked up to it, grabbed the knife and cut my inner thigh. after i saw the blood, i started to bawl my eyes out. it was almost as if something took over ,y body and told me to do this… but i feel like the wounds of […]

I love you, because I do
I admire you, because you’re beautiful
I want you, because your mine
I am here, because of you
I almost died, because you did
You’re always with me, and always will be<3

Before you passed, you told me I’ll see you again, whether its today or tomorrow, but to move on and live life like this was suppose to happen.

I just wrote this to remember what happened a year ago.. love you Nick<333333333333333333

This is my first post on the suicide project. I used to post my thoughts on fb (on a page, a sort of suicide helpline) but then my friends could see the posts on ticker and that made me feel awkward. This is a part of myself I don’t want them to see. They don’t deserve to know the secrets of my heart, they haven’t earned the right.
Every time I have liked a guy, he had chosen some other girl over me. This has done some serious damage to my ego. I look in the mirror and the girl who stares back at me, […]

“I couldn’t ever hurt you.” “You mean the world to me.” “Your the only girl i will ever want.” “I love you.” “Of course i fucking love you, i wanna marry you 10 years from now.” The things he said to me. The way they made my heart fill with something i never have, have, nor feel any longer. He knows that. Pure happiness. That’s all he was to me. As he called me and said those things, i sat there on the phone crying every single tear my body could make..i sat there crying so hard my heart broke more every word passed. “You […]

All the websites, all the books say, “talk to a trusted adult.” I don’t have anyone to trust. My mom is dead and whenever I try to talk to my dad, he always tells me that my problems are my own fault and he shouldn’t have to deal with me. It’s not like I can just go up to a friend and say, “I think i’m depressed and i want to die all the time.” So I just keep it locked inside me. This website is my only outlet. I thank anyone who reads this and cares. I needed to know that there are people […]

My parents started to fight ever since I could remember.  My father was abusive to my mother, not to me though. Still he screamed at me, kept me up all night telling me I was just a kid. HE broke chairs, smashed the house, broke my stuff, and hurt my mother very badly. I joined drama class at school, and he told me I couldn’t act. He crushed my dreams, and makes me feel worthless. All of my school days I have been bullied. The called me names, took away my jacket when it was cold, called me a lesbian, a wore, a fucking loser, […]

“You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met”. Or so I’ve been told many many times. If only I had a nickel for every time I was called a sweetheart.
I have no real friends. And the “friends” that I do have, only use me for a ride or to do favors for them. I sit at home with my annoying father all day and night, doing nothing.

I use to have a job, but I got fired by my own brother who was my boss. Now I’m jobless, and no one wants me to work […]

*WARNING most pointless post in the fucking world*

Why am I even faking it anymore? It’s honestly pointless. I should be more open. I dont know. I have friends but still my life seems so dull and pointless I wish it would end I’m that tired. Oh well maybe faking it is what I should keep doing. Who the fuck knows.

In my past life, I’ve met many men in my life, there were betrayal, dishonest, attitude and financial struggle with my partners due to many reasons, good or bad. I used to be a optimistic, easy going person when i was younger staying with my family. After I came to overseas, meeting more ugly side of human in this world, even those who have religious. With every single relationship, I always loved the most and gave everything I could to make my partner happy, including having bad debts of buying too much for my love one. There was one who used my love to trade […]