Hi, I’m Jaden. My best friends considering suicide, and I am to. I feel beat-up and broken down, so if she quits why can’t I? I beg her not to, I try so hard to tell her to not think about it, but in the end what can we do about others? I promised her, if she did it… look at me I can barley even say the word… I would to, because I can barley go on with her here, but now that she wants to leave I want to too. I feel like every one’s given up on me, and I could end, […]
I’m a 3.3 gpa student in High School, 17 years old living in the USA. I am in 2 AP classes (Physics B and Economics). I have a horrible family life also. I’m a very idiotic, messed up person so bear with me please.
I’m tired of life, I know it could be worse but I can’t take it anymore. I’m tired of living as a certain race. I wish I was born Asian or White… (Mostly Asian) My race is not respected in human society because most of my race does not know how to act like normal human beings. I wont say what race […]
I get upset if nobody understands me, but I get irritated when they try to understand. Because they never get it right. They only mean well. So the question is, do I want their help? I confuse the shit out of myself.
I just feel like crap for no reason. Work is draining. I met a guy who I like and then found out he has as many problems as I do. I told him about how I’m suicidal and I cut sometimes, and he didn’t run away…. but he told me all about his problems too. We are two lonely and depressed people with issues. Now sure how that works out? Maybe it does? Maybe it doesn’t? I can’t handle my own crap, let alone thinking about someone else’s. Now I am not sure what I want to do.
I am starting to meet some people where […]
I cut to relieve stress, rage, pain, and sometimes just because I like how it makes me feel. I don’t always draw blood, but the pain is enough. I don’t like OTHER people hurting me. If I, say, fell in some gravel (which I have) its not the same feeling of satisfaction as if I was cutting myself. I know there may be some self harmers who are also masochistic, but in general, if you’re someone who self-injures, would you call yourself a masochist? What are your thoughts? This question struck me today, and now I’m very curious to get some other opinions.
So my “best friend” has this new friend that she’s gotten really close to. At first it was whatever, it didn’t really bother me. But now that I’ve gotten to know the girl more and I absolutely hate her guts… well no I won’t say hate I just HIGHLY dislike her. We have the same medical class and some kids in my class are doing a project about suicide awareness. I was pretty excited that they were doing it because suicide isn’t a topic we really discuss at my school (which I think it should be). But anyways the girl, my “best friend’s” new friend, she […]
I listen to a lot of heavy, anger filled stuff. My counselor told me to listen to only “uplifting” music for a month. I made it about a week before I gave up, because nothing was changing. Not that I would ever change (I love my music too much), but I’m curious: What do you guys listen to, and have any of you noticed what type of music you listen to helping/hurting your mood?
Also, I created a suicide project group at last.fm if anyone else is on there. Maybe we could share sweet tunes. Or maybe not. http://www.last.fm/group/Suicide+Project
I cant cope anymore, ive been riddled with a thousand bullets of guilt ive taken myself to the darkest places trying to make this right but all i do is fuck it up i dont want to end my own suffering i want to end the suffering of the person ive hurt the only thing is i know suicide wont help that but i cant help feel that its the only escape the people you leave behind will hurt but those wounds will heal and right now i feel mine wont till i rid the world of my self destructive malestrom this is my last […]
Though I’m not suicidal, for some reason I registered. But, that is not the point.
I suffer from migraines. Anxiety. Abusive family. Depression. Bullies. (used to get bullied) Possible back problems, and some other things. And guess what? It appears I have a mask stuck to my head and can only express my true feelings for the world via Internet. Why? The feeling of annomynouity  (sp?). Though it may not really be that hidden, it is all I need to get these feelings out into the open.
So basically, the top of my emotions is: Trapped. By death and time. (yet I don’t believe in time, just […]
This is a song i made up, I really like music and thought i could make my thoughts into songs.
i feel that cutting.. is very relieving,
it lets me let go of the stresses of life.
it lets me cling on to reality,
i get on better with a knife.
The razor blade is my new best friend,
The needle and pin are always by my side.
Always wishing for my life to end,
No-one would cry if i died.
Making there slitting actions as i walk by,
as i try and hide in the shadows of my life.
My whole life is a great fat lie,
Wishing to move on to the afterlife.
*sticks and stones*, […]
These Past Few Days…
It seems as though I can only have one or two days of “happiness” or “hope”. Now I feel constant agony. I’ve been researching suicide for a while now. That doesn’t mean I’m gonna try. I mean sure, I’ve had my moments. Standing on the sidewalk, considering that leap into traffic. Been in my basement, trying to stop myself from downing the bottle of bleach next to the washer. But I’ve overcome those difficulties. I had my moment at the bridge. Wondering what it would feel like to just have a moment of pure peace. Just to feel something other than this crushing bull of un-diagnosed depression. […]
I’m tired of being a burden to everybody. I have no friends. My life consists of going to my useless outpatient and then sitting at home on the computer all day. I’m sick of it. People say that if you’re unhappy, change your situation, well I’m tired of expecting change to make me happy. My decision is made, there will be one less alcoholic loser in the world after today.
Yesterday, a man pulled me out of the way of a moving bus. I wanted to say “thanks”, Â but I gave a “I know you meant well” Â smile instead.
Saw my shrink yesterday. He put me back on my old meds. I hope they start to work fast before I do the unthinkable. Tired of being the invisible girl .
How do I tell them? I can’t. I can’t tell them I’m gay. I especially can’t tell HIM I’m a lesbian. Will I have to live my life like this? I’m too much of a wimp to just stick my head up and tell them.
Please don’t take these words as something Holy, because EVERY. SINGLE. PERSON. MAKES. MISTAKES. I’m just talking about my experiences and what I’ve learned from chatting with other people. You don’t have to take my advices like it’s the Holy Bible.
SEXUALITY
There is nothing wrong with being gay-, straight-, bi- or asexual, or liking different things in sexual intercourse. You just have to know that some people are NOT that liberal, which means, for your own safety, you need to know when to NOT talk about those subjects. You could become a victim of bullying. (But I’ll write a separate post about bullying in general)
Coming […]
i felt i was always a survivor…!! i tot life is all about ups n downs.. n tot it would happen similarly to me. but not.i m alwayz down looking when i will go up.things not happening in my way.
here i m.in this modern age many people are looking for their own lives.yea it’s true one needs to work hard for his self.. but he needs to think of the others.for example– people loosing humanity.who cares if someone is in trouble
The last few days has been fne, i’ve been happy, infact a week and a bit i’ve been find and happy, but now i almost just want to end it all, i dont know why, or i dont get it, but as soon as i saw…. someone today i felt like shit and i just want to dissapear now, i dont want to be a problem for him anaymore… on my poem in the other thead, he’s the main voice the voice thats wanting me to jsut go and never come back, i dont know if he thinks that or not, he can be really […]
So myself, I’ve never really seriously thought about suicide. I still don’t. I mean I’ve thought about it a little, more just pushing the boundaries of my own body and wondering if I really could. I mean Sure my life can be pretty crappy at time but hey, whatcha gonnah do (WAIT! don’t answer that…). either way my point was that I probably don’t understand most of the people here.
Please bear that in mind before you lynch mob me! D:
But from my very short time here, I find a fair few posts seem to be… *Points up at the title* Well, kind of attention seeking. […]