I am 28. I have no future. I quit college 2 times because of depression and lack of money. I come from abusive family. My father had taken  it out on me during almost all childhood. I’ve been depressed since adolescence. My dreams have fallen apart once I dropped out of university. I wanted to commit suicide but didn’t have enough courage. That was my only chance to get out of poverty and misery. I failed. I have failed so many times in my life… I have probably developed another mental issue after dropping out – ptsd. Each day.  Thoughts about failing at school keeps […]
Does anyone know how to stop cutting? I haven’t cut in about a month but it’s like my body is craving it. Every time someone mentions a knife or cutting of some sort my hands kind of start shaking. Weird I know. But I really don’t want to cut myself anymore. Does anyone know how to stop for good ?
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
Who was I, before I entered this maze,
Is not something that I will remember.
As I entered the war-maze,
There was only the life-threatening
Closeness between the enemy and me.
Even this, I will not realize.
After getting out of the maze
Even if I earn my freedom,
The maze by itself, will not change. Unaltered.
To die or to kill,
To be killed, or to take someone’s life,
Even this will not be decided.
As a man wakes from his sleep,
And starts to walk, he can never
Again, see the world of […]
I post something that I believe in and stand for on tumblr and I get 100 notes. 100 people who disagree with me. 100 people who don’t respect my opinion. 100 people who judge me for something that I believe is wrong. 23 people who took the time to tell me to kill myself. 23 people who have decided that they will suggest lovely ways on how I could kill myself. 23 people who couldn’t care less that it is a human they’re sending those messages to. So are we all entitled to our own opinion? Of course. Will we be respected for that opinion? […]
I have made the decision to end my life. I don’t have anything to live for anymore. I don’t know when I will do this but the sooner the better. I am going to swallow some poison berries that grow on our property they kill you in minutes and there isn’t an antidote. I thank everyone here for their help but I just can’t do it anymore…
Not really sure how to do this. Thank you for the two comments I received. They do help. I just wish I could find the courage to make a change. I’m so afraid of being alone (dumb, I know)
I feel like I’m just waiting, not living. I feel like I’m just waiting for a day that is so bad it pushes me over the edge and I finally can have peace.
My life drags on.. Day by day.. Night by night. The easiest I can make it is sleeping, dreaming, only the dreams sometimes brings nightmares. Can life really be this difficult? Is it really possible that souls can be so.. Broken, that the only way out is taking ones life? Was it necessary to even put the broken souls on earth to just suffer in silence? To cry themselves to sleep? To be so needy of death to save them..? Are tears even worth it? I can put ink on paper and still have nightmares about waking up. Life is displeasing. What if I left? […]
Hi all,
Recently I dropped out of Uni. I have no girlfriend, no driver’s licence and I am going broke. My family dislikes me and I have depression and Paranoid Skitzophrenia. The one girl I do like insists she is “better off alone”. I have known her for three years, FML. I want to overdose on my medication and poison myself simultaneously. I have attempted suicide twice before. I have had enough.
If anybody would love to suggest something to keep me alive, go for it, but I doubt it will work for very long,
Mr. Anonymous
My last post “no energy“ was posted on Sunday.
Monday i woke up for school, was very hot, but didn’t think much of it. i got up and felt really ill and my belly was tossing and turning, so i went to the toilet.
But on my way to the toilet i went the dizziest i’ve ever been, then i blacked out. Next thing i know i am on the toilet floor with my dad picking me up, then i blacked out again, i couldn’t have fainted again… could i? i woke up on the hall way floor and my dad peering over me saying my name over and over again.
I […]
I can’t go on anymore. Â The pain is to much for me to handle, no one wants me, my mother kicked me out, my father is on the brink. My life is just lies. LIes about school, love, and health. I am not fine…so why do I keep saying I am? I am broken and bruised the only way I feel anything is when the cool metal of the blade touches my skin, I promised I would stop. I can’t .
Death th constant in my life- thoughts,actions,success- my goal, my one and only goal
I hate myself everyday and it is only getting worse every fucking day of my life. I have over 40 scars on my left hand and I really don’t know why they wont go away. I really don’t want to live but something is holding me back
Something stronger than me
i am a 22 year old gay male, i have suffered from depression all my life not good at anything stuck in a dead end job.
i have been sectioned three times i just think whats life all about why do people suffer and others live fantastic lifes ??
so i ask my self do i or dont i, and whats the quickest and painless way to do it ??
When you hang yourself while taking support for your feet and just let yourself hang you eventually go unconcious. I tried this and all i felt was my knees go weak and pretty severe pain in the head. How long does it take to pass out and does booze help much?
I am making a list of things that I could do to help me make it to Tuesday…
aside from stuffing my face with crap (which does not help in any way) what can I realistically do / accomplish / come up with / fabricate / engineer / occupy my time with / invent / rearrange / be proactive about / just to get on with it?
* take a shower
* eat a healthy breakfast
* work on details of a resume to help myself on Tuesday so the appointment I am putting such stock and hope in is able to help me go forwards…..
So it is Sunday today, slept on the couch in the place I am now living.
The roomy kept coming out in the middle of the night to see if I was
going to go to my room to sleep, which I had no intention of doing ‘cuz
it is lonely in there and I prefered the distraction of the television.
I need to make it to Tuesday for the appointment to get my life back
on track. Then I will set another goal to buy myself a few more days of life.
Why do I need to “buy” or set a target to […]
end of post.
Yesterday, someone told me that making goals in life was important. I asked him why. He more or less told me that man is meant for progress. I sat and questioned in my head, what is this progress that society in general seems to always pursue.
I do believe that humankind has made leaps in advancement of technology, medicine, and overall the knowledge of the world around us. Do I believe that we as a species have become any more enlightened in spiritual depth? In learning tolerance and understanding among each other, in compassion, in communication (not the methods of communication)? No.
With each era I […]