So I cut last night after not cutting for a long time. I feel worse for giving in to wanting to cut. I am not a regular cutter or anything, and I don’t want to get addicted to cutting, besides as it is I am going to have to wear long sleeves to work all week.

I’m just drained, tired, and want to quit. I need a therapist and or a really good friend. Probably both. I have a doctor appointment this week and I am going to try and convince myself to own up to my depression so I can get a referral for a […]

Trying to make it to my 17th birthday. Trying to hold on. I’m trying to be strong but I can feel myself cracking. Slowly falling apart. People have suddenly forgot what is happening to me. It’s the same now. Same as before when no one knew. I’m waiting for my little pink pills to kick in but unfortunately the only thing there doing is pushing me to do it. I lost everything. I’m not the same anymore. I just want to be okay. I just want to be happy. I want my friends back. I don’t even know how to make friends anymore. My only […]

I’m fat, not got the prettiest hair, I’m being treated for acne. Usually these things blown out of porpotion is why I would be depressed right? I wish. I could diet, or get defrizzer or continue with my face gels. But whats the use? My “HOME” life is awful. There is no way to describe it. My dad is every bad word that exists. My mother is useless. My siblings all hate me. I hate my two little brothers because they mirror my dad. I hate my older sister for the pain she causes me, she torments me..shes 0 years old and can make me […]

My story is a long one, one I don’t have time to write about completely…

About a year and a half ago, I decided to kill myself.  I had a mean, selfish, manipulative girlfriend who always accused me of cheating, cheated on me, called me a “disappointment,” threatened to leave me if I ever told a friend or family member about what she was doing, and finally dumped me via a text message.  I had a “friend” who tried to take advantage of her cheating to make her break up with me so he could date her instead.  He in turn had a friend laughing at […]

I’m a dumb, ugly, loser who should kill himself. My story is typical bulling, social rejection. People don’t like me and I don’t blame them I hate myself too. There’s no hope and there’s only one solution, i only hope il have the will to kill myself one day.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“ ’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —

Only this, and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had tried to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore […]

I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve never been good at opening up to people, never really had any close friends who I can actually trust to tell this to. My parents, pshh I’d have more luck venting to my dog. So excuse me if I seem nervous.

I’m turning 24 in 4 days. A lot has happened to me in these 23 years of life. Not a lot of them good. And the worst things have happened within the last year.

I wish I was a kid again. Being a kid is so damn easy. You have not a single care in the world, other […]

I have no friends at school and everyone looks at me like I’m a freak every day. There is a small group of people I normally hang out with, but they just see me as someone who hangs out with them because nobody wants to be friends with the person. Every romantic relationship I’ve ever had ended with every boyfriend either taking advantage of me, cheating on me, or pretending they loved me. I feel like an ugly person and I wanna die already. Nobody would care, not even my own family would care. They hate me so much, and the only person who (sometimes) cares […]

Hello, space mariners. Or maybe aliens or innocent bystanders. I’m almost alone on this planet sometimes. I’m not used to write or chat in this language, so be merciful if I’m making some awful mistakes.

Today I feel a little bit pathetic than usual. But I don’t think about cutting myself or jumping from eighth’s floor. I don’t know why.

I can go on with my live. It’d boring or interesting, or maybe even  funny sometimes.  Or I can stop it.

Both choices are equal for me sometimes.

I want to cry, but i cannot. I want to cry and whimper in someone’s arms. But there is nothing but […]

I dont know what to say or do anymore. I am 26 years old, although I recognize I am somewhat intelligent, and feel able to contribute in certain ways, all those feelings are constantly overwhelmed by a stronger feeling of not belonging. I’ve moved to different places, tried fresh starts, moved closer to family, away from family. Same outcome, all the time. I feel as though I just should not be there. As though people will have a better time if I were not present.
I know I may be a bit young to say I have moved around a lot, but I was out […]

In all my life, I’ve been strong, my father died, my mom left me, I had eating disorders. And I got over everything, but now I just can’t anymore! My grandma doen’t talks to me because Iof his brother, he almos raped me! And she doen’t even know, and if I told her, she wouldn’t believe me cause she loves him more than she loves me she trusts him, he told her I was rude, liar, and that I was on drugs, and she believed, now looks like I’ve been kicked from my own famil. So, I had to move (I left my soulmate in […]

everyone tells me to just close my eyes to escape from reality. but the truth is i’m to scared to. i only have nightmares now. i’m always depressed and thinking of suicide. no one would care if i was gone anyway. not like they were ever there for me when i needed it. And it seems like the dreams in which im dying are the best i’ve ever had and everyone says to follow your dreams so…. i don’t know what to do. i’ve started cutting and even tried talking to someone professional about how im feeling but nothing is working. i feel like i […]

As much as I try to stay grounded in reality and base my ideas off scientific fact, I cannot help but feel that something otherworldly is altering my thoughts.  I don’t hear voices but I very frequently experience things that nobody else does, and can feel evil presences around me at times.  I really hope  I’m not getting schizophrenia.

I think the scariest thing about death is what comes after. It’s like your life continues even when you’re not there, at least that’s what I think. But the thing is, is that I don’t want it to continue. I just want it to be nothing. Nothing but blackness. Or nothing but light. Just peace. But sometimes I do hope that my life continues up in heaven or wherever I’m going to end up, because sometimes I don’t want to leave what’s behind.

In all honesty though, I’m terrified of dying.

On the 16th, Tuesday, I attempted to kill myself by overdosing on pills. By the time I was done taking what I had, I had taken approximately 60 pills. I woke up at 4am  Wednesday morning puking my guts out. It felt crappy. Let’s be honest puking until; you have nothing left to puke up and then still puking anyways isn’t fun. I didn’t go to a doctor. I was pretty scared to tell my mom that I tried to kill myself so I just kept quiet and said I had the flu. I stayed home for the rest of the week then spent the […]

I asked her to marry me. She said “not yet.” It never occurred to her there’d never be a later.

I hope she thinks of me every time she has an orgasm. And then cries herself to sleep with the knowledge that she’s responsible for killing me.

Besides me and my friend’s brother’s mishaps, I seem to have two secret admirers. One is my ex-boyfriend I was contemplating about having sex with, he tries to rub on my vagina and my breasts, other one is one that flirts with me a lot and smacks my butt and pinching my breasts. I don’t know what to do about this I keep telling them stop, but they continue doing it. My ex-boyfriend he wants me one day then doesn’t want me the next. The flirt wants me everyday but my friend wants him and I want her to have him since me and her […]