My mind is deteriorating more and more each day of my miserable existence.
Hi , i don’t want to open up a can of political worms, but what’s the vibe on Obama getting back in or not, living downunder we pretty much get feed shite on this subject , sort of UNFAIR and UNBALANED ???????????
I was watching a short youtube video and the lady described dying somewhere in it. She was being choked out in a terrible situation and she closed her eyes and after a while, all she saw was white and she felt herself slipping deep into her mind and she couldnt feel any pain and she had no worries she said it was like an escape from what was happening to her. She described it as if she were dying but i knew she was just passing out from a lack of blood/oxygen flow to her brain.
This made me think…being free from my situation and the pain I feel […]
Hey. I’m Nikki! So um I’m not really sure what you’re supposed to do on here so well I’ll just tell you whats going on. My ex-boyfriend is talking smack about me. Saying that I’m easy. That I’m a dirty whore. I’ve been so stressed out about it. On the other hand My father. Yelled at me today… I know what you’re thinking. All he did was yell at you. Well here think about this. He’s been yelling at me, swearing at me, treating me like poop since 3 grade. I’m in 8th grade now. Nothings changed. Tonight at 9pm I broke down crying. 10pm […]
I really am trapped in nothingness, I have a problem where I just cant occupy myself or be active. I dont know wether its due to a neurolocal problem ive got but its like this claw is digging down in my brain, keeping me locked just to my thoughts, my standard of life is so low that my main things in it are websites and an on going conversation with the samaratans lol .. now thats some life! I did drugs again on the weekend (amphetamine) and it brought me to life, felt so much better, spent days writing lots and lots of song lyrics and […]
I rememeber growing up, I knew (or thought I did) that I would never attempt to kill myself or even think about the thought of doing that. It’s crazy how that all changed.
I had been depressed for about two months when I watched Lana Del Rey’s “Summertime Sadness” video. It spoke to me so much, and made me realize how broken I was. I rememeber watching both her and the other girl jump off from a cliff and building, and that was the first time I thought about suicide …
IÂ thought, how wonderful it would feel to be falling and feeling so free in those few moments. Free from all […]
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
hia all here to speak about the illness that we all share. i dont believe you are sane or honest if you have not considered suicide. the main reason iv come on here is because in the last few days iv attempted to reach out to many of my acquaintances about life suffering and the torrent of
suicidal thoughts that seem to follow any serious self-contemplation im capable of. Notability i’ve come to the realize that the contemplation of limitations lead to suicidal thoughts even if its just for the duration of one class, being bound to a desk while an innocent teacher attempts to […]
The fabric of my life.
I am a slave, a true kajira…i feel such an amount of pain for i have hidden it…. In fear of others… But why hide who i am… God this sadness hurts me deeply… I am not ashamed… Why should i be?
NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!!!!! my mother says she does but i know she doesn’t , she is taking out all the pain of her childhood on me , My father is an alcoholic – and no matter how hard i try i cannot impress them , i play piano until my hands bruise so bad my whole hand is blue! i sing and win awards , and dance until my arms and legs cannot move. But its never enough… They think my little sister is the best things since sliced bread!!! she tells me to die everyday , and i only have one true friend […]
I had a good day with my friends and being silly and laughing at how he was messing with another friend of mine but damn the evil thoughts of cutting are strong I found a good place to cut or well I have never cut before so yeah. I sadly wish a friend would text me. He saves me all the time with out knowing he does. I mean he’s the shit there’s no one on this earth that tell me I am pretty or makes me feel specai. I wish I could say what the hell I wanna say but I keep it in […]
these pills have made me into a zombie:
numb
dead
cold.
I can’t speak,
I can’t move,
I can’t cry.
I just stare and wish someone would talk to me,
force me to open my mouth, my eyes.
This constant fear and darkness isn’t what life is supposed to be, I want to give up.
Suppose you had a plan A and a plan B. Plan A is the best thing that ever happened to you. Plan B is suicide. And for months plan A is coming along great. And then suddenly plan A is taken from you. Wiped out of existence. Then plan B starts to look nice and nicer. I mean, plan B was always there right? Always at the back of your mind anyway, so why not? Why not? And plan B has a definite date. And it’s coming soon. You have it all planned. Yet, you’re still holding on to plan A deep in your […]
I am not a religious man but, I struggle with Anxiety, Depression, and many other mental illnesses that make me feel different and inferior. Depression makes me feel empty and no one can make me happy. I think about suicide all the time, I have suicidal visions and plans but never carry them out. Before I go to bed at night I think about how to commit suicide. I think about talking to my therapist for one last time and ending it in her office so I can see her and she will care for me while I fade away. I am too scared to […]
I’m t e x t i ng o n m y p h o n e r i g h t n o w, a n d m y p a r e n t s b a s i c a l ly f o u n d m y p e r s o b a l s t u f f o n m y c o m p u t e r f r i m a h a c k. I n c l u d i n g t h i s s i t e…s o meone k […]
My Junior year of high school, i used to perform self harm to myself. I had a lot of boyfriend trouble and my friends had completely stabbed me in the back and I just couldn’t take the humiliation anymore. Cutting became an overwhelming addiction and I couldn’t stop. Eventually my parents caught on to my behavior and one day my father came to me and asked if i wanted to wake up tomorrow and i said no. I was taken to the hospital so that i could immediately talk to psychiatrists about how i was feeling. I figured when i was done I would just […]
i want to rip my hair out and scream i want to cry my eyes out too the point were i can not even see.. i want to just die and watch no one care…. i have been coughing so hard i puke my brains out… i feel horrible…. i feel alone and lost and empty i want to die i want to fall asleep and never wake i am so done right now i am sick of all the bull shit in my life i am sick of all the heart breaks and drama i am sick of being alone all the time i […]
I’m too sane for this crazy world. You can’t be a man who’s word means something in a world filled with liars & manipulators. I know. I was one of those once. I did the work to change. I made my name synonymous with integrity and honor. I fought every day for my family, for others, for the underdog. Then one day everything I worked for was demolished by the person who I thought cared the most. Someone who placed the blame for their choices, choices they made years before I ever met them, on my shoulders. And I looked around and no one was […]