And screwed up my hand from punching shit after taking too many prescription pills. I slept in my car. I’m tired, it’s always like trying to walk through quicksand. When I start questioning what the reward at the end will be, I realize it’s a big fuckin’ bag of dildos. We’re gonna die either way so why am I still struggling now? I wish somebody could just take me away from all of this, from myself, all the heartache, and make it better again. Everything’s just come apart at the seams, and I know I’m next.
I used to have it all.. I was popular, captain from my soccer team and I loved my life. Then I had some heart problems so I stayed home for an entire school year. Then I changed school and got bullied for an entire year, that’s when I got really depressed. I changed school again but had to redo 10th grade again, so now I’m 2 years older then the people in my class. I’m afraid I’m gonna get bullied again this school year.My parents won’t let me quit high school even though I’m 18. I hardly have any friends left. I got chronical fatigue […]
Have you ever had those days where people just love to piss you the fuck off?
This little kid just told me I am going to hell.
Well fuck him.
I wish he would mind his own fucking business.
I wish every fucking body would just leave me the hell alone.
They think that by telling me they love me when they dont that it will make me feel better.
Well it doesnt.
It never does.
I hate all these fucking immature little shits.
Its under the category “I Will Survive”, but I highly doubt I will.
I’ve realized this pain is never ever going to stop. Its just going to keep cycling. I need an easy method. Ive tried pills several times and its obviously never worked. I can’t fail or be caught so i need something thats always effective. Please help. Oh and it must be quick!
As most of you may know i have been through some difficult times in my life, some were near world ending and seemed to cover me in sadness and depression.
But i endured all this and i drove forward with a little help from my friends. I traveled ireland and met some amazing people and i found a new calling in life. I met Jen and her son and fell in love again. We were engaged a few months ago.
Then we were in a car crash and they both died. I fell off the wagon and got pretty smashed, i spent a few days completely shitfaced.
When i found […]
Bah! I’ve survived.
Won’t be easy now that I know just how fucking horrifying the experience is. So much in fact, that my mind cannot comprehend the full intensity of it all now that it’s over. Well, just have to wait for my neck to heal and try again. Maybe this Sunday if all goes as planned, though it never does.
At least it wasn’t boring, and the many ‘effects’ i’ve suffered did leave me curious about the workings of the mind.
So, how’s everyone else been around here?
It’s been a long struggle but I’m willing to make it. Choose to live. For that I’m going to change my life even if it scares me to death, even if it’s going to be hard, even if chances are I’m not going to make it, even if many many people say I won’t make it. It’s gotten to a point in which I can’t lie to myself anymore, pretend that I’m someone else.
I read somewhere that instead of killing myself I should help others. Volunteer, help sick people that would give anything to have my health. I want to do that. I stopped caring […]
I saw a mag, one day.
It had 5 women on the front page, ladies who are obviously famous. The tittle said ‘How i feel comfortable in my body’
I dont know how they are supposed to feel good about posting their bodies to the world, one of the ladies Ada Nicodemou, she’s an actress on home and away. She was pregnant. and still fit into a size 10. To me that is un natural.
What makes it worse, that these people they had in the article, they were all less than a size 10 and over 5’9″. Where the national average size for women is size 14 […]
i put purple streaks in my hair, i like purple. sometimes i thinki cant change myself but i can change my hair, so if your feeling stuck why not dye/cut your hair? heres a picture…i dont think anyone can identify me from my chin right?
Dear Friend ,
Well , I’ve just created this and I don’t know if I’m doing this right. I’m thinking of using this as way to talk. Whoever reads this , I consider a friend. My name is Gabrielle , some call me Gaby. I’m 14 and I’ve recently found this and decided to make an account to use this as my escape so I want to thank The Suicide Project for this , I guess. I’ve began getting depressed at age 12 and it’s been 2 years. I self harm as […]
I put up a front everyday for the people around me. It really is exhausting to pretend you’re happy. Everyday when I get home, luckily it’s mostly to an empty home, my roommates are rarely around, I break down and cry and cry. I just want everything to end. I just wish someone would just kill me.
…in words, God, & people.
I am a 30 year old guy who has been sober from drugs and alcohol for 4 years. Back when I was drinking I lost my fiance because I cheated on her and then left her because I thought I could never forgive myself even though she forgave me. While staying sober I got hooked on tattoos, buying cars, and other crazy spending. I put myself in debt and have full sleeve tattoos now. I regret them so much even though they have to do with recovery and my faith in God. I feel like people are judging me […]
I’ll try this again:
This is not about debating religion. This is about religion’s direct sociological and psychological pressures that result in suicide and a host of other “retaliations”.
The main purpose of religion is to oppress the masses and extract goods or labor from them to supply the ones at the top of the “social pyramid†example: the Pharaohs, Shamans, Kings, Priests, Reverends, Dictators, Presidents, etc.
In ancient religions, the gods they worshiped example: Amun Ra, Zeus, etc., displayed very primitive human traits. They were known to be violently inhumane and incredibly unfair at times. The gods practiced behavior similar to what a baby might grow up […]
hello again. for this post, i felt like sharing these amazing two music videos both by the famous rapper eminem. I hope this can cheer up the mood for everyone, though the first may feel a bit harsh on language.
I really felt this one encouraging cause eminem actaully cared so much about his fans, that he made a song on some1 who was very passionate about being like eminem and admiring him a lot too. it shows how a fan becomes extremely upsess with his role model, try to act and think like eminem, when really he was a whole different […]
Last night I had a very unpleasant dinner with my relatives. I’m ‘home’ from out of town … a 50 yo gay man, partnered for nearly 20 years, home to help find my mother an assisted living facility. she has dementia. i have sisters who live here, but they don’t really seem capable of understanding what needs to be done.
At dinner, my sister’s husband launched into a racist, bigoted line of conversation. i can’t stand it, and i asked that we not have that conversation … they all know how i feel, and yet they persisted. No one came to my defense or stood with me. i’m […]
Theyre coming
Im slipping
Im slipping far away
cant breathe
cant see
I cant find my way
I need you
Theyre coming
Theyre coming for me,why
help me
kill me
I just want to die
Please save me
Just take me
Cant do it anymore
Im found
I run
Im falling to the ground
I see them
Theyre running
Its killing me now
I bleed
I die
They win
Im gone
They took my life again
Sitting in the hallway crying probally gonna cry myself to sleep thinking maybe tommorow she won’t call me names again? Make me feel like I’m nothing i don’t if I’m just feeling sorry for myself or if there is something wrong with me i try my best and I’m only 15 when I do something wrong she says you should know by now or calls me a stupid **** I want tell how I feel but I don’t because when I do she makes it out to be my fault or at least I think she dose everyone might think I just a girl […]
I’m tired of being lonely.
I continually compare my life to others. I feel like my life is pointless and I have nothing going for me.
I have days where I feel like things aren’t so bad and I have to hold on and be strong, then there are days where I so desperately feel the need to end it all.
I really don’t know what to do anymore 🙁
I’ll be doing a mindless task, walking for example, and it will just hit me. Collide with me. I’ll remember a moment. Nothing even has to trigger it. It will just burst from my memory and lay before my eyes. There’s so many to choose from that there are plenty of things to trigger it though. Maybe I’ll walk past a cinema and I’ll remember the time we held hands watching a movie. Maybe I’ll hear a word and it’ll remind me of a conversation we had in which he used that word. Stupid.
Every time he finds someone new to confess his love to it […]