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Free Hugs here feel free to line up to get your free one. 🙂

well im at that point where im havin trouble wanting to continue with this life ive thought about suicide before but never acted on it then i tried suicide by cop and that scared the shit out of me so i didnt follow through but i did get arrested and now things are really in the tubes and i have only one real option is to pull the trigger but im having troubl mustering up the courage to go through with it i know there wont be any pain ive planned how to do it i just cant pull the trigger any helpfull tips or […]

It really sucks. I can spend my time playing video games or watching TV or anything like that. The pain won’t be there. As soon as I have a free moment, it comes flooding back in. I’ve found something that helps though. It just isn’t a solution I want to be true. It makes me feel better while we are talking, but I still feel the pain. The pain definitely is still there even though I feel good at the same time. The only difference is that I don’t feel the pain when we aren’t talking. My life is relatively happy now. If I go days […]

Hello. I’m Sydnee. Im a 20 yr old female and I’m looking to end my life by taking 16 sleeping pills and drinking 90 proof vodka…Tonight.

This will hopefully be the only post I ever write, and the only reason why I’m writing one is because I’ve read a lot of the things people have said on here and I feel maybe someone can relate to me and maybe I can save them or give them an idea so that they won’t be as alone as I am right now. This is a little piece of my story and hopefully the end.

I’ve wanted this for as long […]

I have a seriously sick mind, I am so fucking glad mind reading isnt real! I am not a bad person though, because I might think fucked up things but that doesn’t mean I would ever do them.

So I just read all my old posts and sent them to a friend she is very supportive and I feel better. My old posts made me feel the hopelessness and a little taste of everything i was/am feeling. I realized some things. The only time i feel like im free from my depression is when i shove it deep down into myself, but eventually it overflows. i wanted this to be longer because i have a lot to say but maybe another time. the point is depression is like my scars they never fully go away. Example: I have been feeling complete and unbearable […]

I’m trying to just be. I’m trying to let my mind relax and let myself be happy. Only, I’m finding it really difficult. My mind is constantly busy with thoughts of loneliness and suicide. I’ve been through so many emotions today. I feel like I’m going mad.

Every day that I’m here is another day that I worry about. I cannot focus on anything other than the past and I hate it. I am so lost. All I really want if for someone to make my life bearable–someone who can take my mind off the things that don’t really matter.

I just want to be cared for. […]

Why I choose to die:
I am an emotional drain on myself and everyone around me.
I feel stuck like this will always be my life, it will never get better.
My husband feels trapped with me; like he is stuck with me because of the kids. I feel the same with him.
I am a horrible mother; there is no positive thinking technique that will convince me otherwise, even if the depression is the reason. There is no excuse for not being able to stand being around my children.
I can’t provide the love to them that I so desperately needed growing up […]

I use to shiver at the thought of cutting myself, but your words cut right into me, sharper than a blade, I would know, because I’ve felt the blade pierce my skin, but it was all numb. Where was the hurt I should feel as I watched the blood drip down my arm. Worthless. I may be numb on the outside, but the inside is constant pain, when will it stop. I stare in tears as I watch drops of worthlessness drain from my body. Until there is nothing more to drop.

You know I don’t know if I consider myself necessarily suicidal so some of you may think that I’m misusing this website, but I am just so tired. So god damn tired of everything. I’m tired of being strong and putting a smile on my face when I don’t want to, I’m tired of being called a “cold *****” even if it is a joke. I just wish (and i know it is a long shot) but I wish my parents loved each other as much as they love me. They fight and he throws things at her and stomps out of the house and […]

so i haven’t really posted anything lately because life has been alright. my bestfriend and i don’t talk anymore.  i still love him, i think i will always love him, but i couldn’t take it anymore. he told me to never look at him, because he doesn’t want people knowing he knows me. it’s fine though because i’m becoming stronger, and i’m on my road to recovery. i haven’t cut myself in almost two months, and i haven’t made myself throw up in a month and a half. i’m not happy, but i’m not depressed. i’m peaceful? i don’t really know how to explain my emotions, but […]

Weakly wandering through life

My facade fragily held together

By a smile and a happy face

But if you took the time to look

You’d see the tear streaming down my face

You’d see a heart filled with hate

If you only took the time to ask

You’d see the true pain

You’re perfect…all I can say is….it was enchanting to meet you <3

Sad to hear that Hip-hop mogul chris lighty has passed away from an apparent suicide,he was 44.This was a man that appeard to have everything,allot of friends,money but still wasnt happy REST IN PEACE troubled soul.

today after school i hung out with my friend lily she is really nice i met her in P.E i also hung out with my ex or bf or what ever he is we went back to her house and started drinking i just followed along because i did not know what to do it helped numb the pain… after i left they he stayed at her house and continue drinking the scotch she pulled out of her parents liquor cabinet… when i got home i  started doing shots of vodka and i did some drinking while i was home by my self i almost […]

Ive had 3 unsucsesful attempts (obviosly) but soon shall i pass away some way, my 3 attemps were all in the past 45 days so i know im serious about dieN, hopefully in tge next week il be dead.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSgFCzGBjcg

GO!

To un-explain the unforgivable,
Drain all the blood and give the kids a show.
By streetlight this dark night,
A séance down below.
There’re things that I have done,
You never should ever know!

And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.

Who walks among the famous living dead,
Drowns all the boys and girls inside your bed.
And if you could talk to me,
Tell me if it’s so,
That all the good girls go to heaven.
Well, heaven knows

That without you is how I disappear,

In my past entries posted on this site, as well as my facebook page and my website: www.nolenthebeckoning.com, I have mentioned my belief in man’s evolution from fire.  I have received quite a few derogatory replies.  Most from people calling themselves christians.  To those of you on this site who claim christianity, I do not wish to personally offend you, however it is of my opinion that christianity is one of the leading religions to plague mankind.  Most of christian history is written in bigotry and the practice of condemning all others…and when there’s no others, condemn each other.  As with many of my perceptions, […]

Why do people think it’s funny to tell you to go kill yourself. Someone told that to me today and I thought that it wasn’t going hurt me that bad, but it did. The voices in my head started screaming to go do it. I can’t make them go away and the worst part about it is that I was okay with dealing with my suicidal thought for a little while now and I just got sent back to the bottomless well that I can’t find away out of. No one where I am understands what I’m going through and it sucks that they don’t […]